Time to check in BJ...we are missing you.

When I'm calling youuuuuuuuuuuu oooouooou ooouooooo...*grin. you're probably way to young to remember that song BJ.

Nope Alffe never heard of that song. I'm still trying to figure out that other one about mother nature.

It’s so hard for me to open up about things Bizi, that’s why I’m such a failure in therapy. I do need a therapist Mari and I know that because there’s no one else. And I do accept that something is wrong and I need help. But I need to feel that someone cares, not like these group sessions their making me go to. All I do is sit in the corner and try to stop the tears. I want to scream at them that I’m bipolar and can’t deal with this. But no one cares, no one notices. I need one on one contact, someplace I can feel safe.

Why do people SI?

Self-injury can help someone relieve intense feelings such as anger, sadness, loneliness, shame, guilt and emotional pain. Many people who cut themselves, do this in an attempt to try and release all the emotions they are feeling internally. Others may feel so numb, that seeing their own blood when they cut themselves, helps them to feel alive because they usually feel so dead inside. Some people find that dealing with physical pain is easier than dealing with emotional pain. Self-injury is also used as a way to punish oneself.

And that's where I'm at. I’m feeling so dead inside. I need to tell someone about what happened in there, I want to feel clean again.

(((BJ))) I'm so sorry you're still having a rough time. Be sure to remember your meds sweetie!

Thank you so much for checking in. It looks like we get a bit worried when you don't.

Much much love.

bj, when the time is right you will be able tell someone.

no matter what...you are not to blame.

i can't say enough about how proud i am of you. how brave you were tonight. you took a huge step tonight.

you are not alone in this now bj. you shared. you told. we know and will be there with ever teeny tiny baby step towards healing.

you are going to heal bj. your inner strength will not let them win over you. you are the winner!

i love girlie.

i just love when bizi calls you that.

(((BJ)))

BJ

with much love and prayers lifted for you

Cheri

I wanted to say something intelligent but it left my brain. So all I can think of is thank you for caring, for not making me feel so alone. And thank you Curious, Bizi and Lor for taking the time to chat with me tonight. It really means a lot to me

B.P. it is soooo good to see you post and share. You know the only thing one can really turely learn how to controll is...Themselfs. You arent to blame .
It might make it feel or seem like. . . if you were to blame thatd make things easier to accept or handle . You dont deserve to be treating yourself like that . You are a wonderful caring sweet brave strong person. I hope you search out some one on one therapy. and when you find it... it may take shifting threw a few people until you find one thats comfortable and has a strong background in the field. I did a zillion times better with one on one then group. and I think thats probly a good idea for you . stay on top of the meds and know that all of us here need you , care about you, love you and MISSYOU when you dont check in now and then.
I send many healing thoughts to you B.P.
PEACE
BMW