this is a bit odd, i'll keep it brief.

i have a work colleague on facebook who commented that she was excited as she was planning to write to/penpal someone on death row.
her friends joined in saying 'wow, cool and groovy, what a great thing to do yadda ya...
one said that he would ask the inmate how he felt knowing the exact day he was going to die.
one said he would like to 'bring joy to someone in his last days'

now bearing in mind a couple of weeks ago she bigged up a campaign against the leniant sentence of baby p's murderers, i was quite shocked by it all.

i know each to their own and all that but when i mentioned their victims don't have penpals, and why don't they use their time more constructively with amnesty international for example, i was accused of having a ****** ** view of the world.
Obviously they only intend to write to the innocent ones, who need comfort in their final days...

Oh i give up. it hit a nerve with me and i'm annoyed by it. i know i'm overreacting but would they ask a dying cancer patient how they feel to know when they're going to die?
and the fact that innocent people are executed daily in other countries is by the by- that's their fault for violating the laws of their country. (Executed for talking to a man for example).

It's a bit strange for me. i've gone as far as deleting her off my facebook. i can't take the negative vibes. Is it me ???
i know i'm taking it personally but i don't think i'm a mean person.

cookies and a glass of wine if you got this far...

Keep the cookies, Pud, I'll take the wine.

Having been a penpal to a couple lifers myself, I confess that there is a certain novelty in communicating with criminals. It's honestly pretty sad to hear from one whose future is gone.

While I appreciate your concern for the victims' families, I sincerely question whether they'd enjoy a penpal relationship based on the wounds from a crime. Besides, we don't know for certain that they don't have penpals.

For some people, writing to inmates is part of their ministry, for others, a sensational exploitation of those who somehow ran afoul.

In my case, it was for art. There are many very talented artists incarcerated in the USA and I admit that I enjoyed the novelty of seeking commissioned pieces. I am also involved in more proactive, community oriented projects, this is just one spoke on my wheel of life.

well i take my hat off to you. you make it sound far nicer than my colleague's bogan friends who just wanted the novelty value.

i meant the victims of murderers rather than the people left behind.

maybe i should eat my words too. i'm very hasty to judge these days.

Nah, don't be too hard on yourself, this is one of those things that generates a lot of emotion. I am very, very pro punishment for criminals and support victims' rights efforts. By the same token, I recognize the mental malady of one who is capable of such heinous acts and try to remember that "there, by the grace of God go I".

If your friend's enthusiasm for this is entirely wrapped up in getting some personal recognition among friends, it's actually kind of sick and your point is well taken.

I think Pud is her horse??

I know they help train puppies and that makes me somewhat jealous of the love they are given but I guess they are helped by the love and purpose for living the dogs give them and they train service dogs and wild horses too.

Pud's friend,
My opinion on this may anger some people too. DH's cousin yelled at me for buying veal Bologna, Did I know how it was made? Yes, I yelled back, but my toddles ate it (geez, my sin was bought twice) and when he started caring about the neglected and abused children all around us giving them the same energy he gave animals, then we could talk. I've seen raped, beaten, emotionally and neglected or physically abused children and all the damage it does to them. We all have a different button that sets us off. Prisons never push mine. I want anyone who hurts or murders a child punished to the max.(English/Aussie to American time - Who/what is Pud? I lost my English neighbor translator friend)

I used to write to an inmate on death row -- years ago. Was a homicide, in TX, I believe. According to inmate, he'd been an accomplice, not the gunman. May or may not have been true. However, he didn't seem to feel that he was unjustly sentenced -- was just pretty matter-of-fact that, in the eyes of the law, they were one and the same.

For me, it was a ministry. Got into it, because my BF was also doing that. At the time, he was also in a FT volunteer position in a chaplain's office at a local state prison.

I didn't condone what the inmate did; we probably only briefly discussed it once, when he thought he should tell me about it.

Had said he turned around his life, and was a Christian. Just tried to support him in his walk.

At one point, he began giving relationship/sexual advice to me regarding my BF (who has now been my DH for 25 yrs), when it came up that we were abstinent. (I shouldn't have even gotten into that conversation. Don't remember how I allowed myself to respond to whatever questions he'd asked.)

I quickly back-tracked and told him that I wasn't willing to discuss that, and he didn't bring it up again.

Otherwise, he was usually very polite, and inteliigent. Used words in his vocabularly that were familiar to me, but, that I would never use. His first name was James.

~ Faith