He was planning on retiring when he turned 62 next year but he will bring in a better pension from his employer if he retires at the end of this year. So in about 2 1/2 months I will have my D(?)H at home with me all the time. I'm not sure how I feel about it. He likes to go out and eat all the time. I mean all the time. He doesn't like the idea of simple sandwiches and such for lunch. And he has very specific times he likes to eat - 11 AM and 5 PM. I like my DVR and I catch up on the previous evening shows the next day. I won't always have that luxury now. Right now he has been on vacation all this week and I have about 20 hours on the DVR I have to watch. We are going to visit the grand-kids this weekend so I have Sunday through Tuesday eve scheduled on it so it is going to get pretty full.

Since he won't turn 62 until July I will have to start drawing my pension from the same employer in March. I was really hoping to put that off in order to make the pension check a little bigger. Plus we may have to take some out of my TSA since I won't have any penalty being on SSD. We aren't sure if I have to or not, just according to what our insurance costs are going to be.

Plus this retirement a little earlier may affect how we are going to be able to save for our big vacation next October where we take both our girls, husbands and grand-kids to Disney World. We were going to try to pay for as much of it as we could.

So I am stressed! Thanks for listening.

Ugh...


You need some ground rules, sweetie!

I mean, it's compromise surely. But he cannot dictate every meal time, and make you miss your shows. It is not okay for him to tell you what time to do what 24/7.

I am going through a HUGE thing with my whole family over control issues right now, so maybe I'm taking this personally. But my dh is sort of like yours, and thinks if HE goes to bed, I go to bed. If HE has toast, we all have toast.



I told him he's gonna be moving by himself if he doesn't get a clue soon.



It was so much easier when he worked 70 hrs a week. He still works - 40 hrs. But this job, he sits and opens/closes the bridge. He's all alone up there. Comes back from work and wants to gab gab gab. All wound up. Drives me nuts.

Now I'm in OH and he's in FL, he calls me 5 times a day.



Rules. I'm sayin'....

BGB,,
I admit I'm not crazy about weekends. Between two teens and a DH who thinks I should go to bed when he does,is the center of my Universe, often doesn't like my show choices so that means he can talk and criticize so I can't hear a dang thing from TV or sleeps through the evening not meeting my needs for dropped remotes, a little wine, using bathroom, etc. I can do all this from my chair myself. it just takes forever. Also I get really bored. But as a friend said - he doesn't drink, doesn't beat me, has a job, doesn't womanize, etc. I'm dreading retirement. Rules and Boundaries!!! Talking about if makes me the bad guy, but someone has to mention this stuff.

You guys are making me happy that I am single and live alone!

I've gotten so set in my ways over the past several years that I don't know if anyone could stand being around me!!

I wasn't always like this......my DH was the "ruler of the roost" (or so he thought). I learned there are ways to make them think you're going along with their ideas when in reality you're doing just as you please......and they're none the wiser!

It will be an adjustment Doydie but you'll work it out. It was a shock to both me and DH when he took early retirement. We finally reached a level where our routines are both flexible. He can do almost as much as he wants as long as he helps out around the house some, and cooks some meals, etc... We don't always go to bed at the same time or get up at the same time.

Sometimes I'll do his chores and he'll do mine but he's very good at trying to make his chores permanently my chores...

His latest one is that why should he have to make me a salad when he cooks dinner? After all, sometimes lettuce can have dangerous contaminations on it, he read it on CNN. whuh??? And he takes vitamins so he doesn't need to eat a salad at night.

I have to lecture him a bit after these requests and he comes around, but he always tries anyway.

Anyway, just let him know what time you do certain things during your day, and that while you love him soooo much, you know he'll understand since he's such a sweet guy. Let us know how it goes and remember, it might take some adjusting from both of you.

DH retired and was loving it for TWO WEEKS! He told me one morning that he needed a reason to get up and there was nothing for him to do.

He was right; our lawn is rock, desert plants and cacti with a drip system and the house was new so no maintenance yet.

He got the best job working 8:00 am to Noon and time off whenever he needs it. He comes home happy every day and we always have something to talk about.

*Example:
He was telling me about a woman who when she got out of her car the wind caught her dress and it nearly blew over her head and he said he didn't even look!

Is that the most amazing thing? What a gentleman.

He gets no company benefits as he already has insurance through Medicare and his retirement plan.

He and I are both thrilled with the extra play money and he feels good about working. It's a win-win!

My Dad retired, my mom died very soon after that, he got a P/T job at a store at the mall, much below what he used to do, but loved it! Getting "coffee and" at break, taking the kids and grandkids shopping with his employee discount, belonging but no responsibilities, PT, no worries, a little extra cash, etc. My sister lived with him awhile after her divorce, he would make the cleaning lady she hired sit down and make and serve her lunch. That man needed a job!!

i guess you'll both have to figure out new roles and maybe some "house rules".

maybe making a budget will help with eating out issue. you could make it a date nite.

Somewhere I read these wise words from a very intelligent woman:

" I married my husband for life but not for lunch."