Yes.......

Quote:
Originally Posted by NeuroNixed Craig View Post
Blessings,

Was this serious, satirical, or simply a twist on words because we all have challenges?

You soooo got me on this one!

Craig,
How can I follow dreams? I can't remember them!! No, really!!

When DH and I first bought a timeshare in Hawaii, the agent asked us where we wanted to travel...I came up blank. There's no where I really ache to see.

I got a new digital camera two Christmases ago and try over and over again to read instructions on how to use it (I used to be quite a good photographer with an SLR film camera). I can't remember what I've read, no matter how many times I try.
I enrolled in a medical transcription course, and had to drop out because I couldn't for the life of me remember what I'd read. I got too far behind.

I work out several days per week in order 1)to keep my muscles and bones working and healthy and 2)to lose weight and tone. My neurologist urges me to pace myself, but I go at it 100%, and pay with fatigue later. It's too difficult to hold back when I know I'm going to be tired later whether I pace myself or not.
There is nothing I really want to do...no where I really want to go...I'm not really unhappy...just really have no goals.

Sometimes I think we feel like we have to always have something big to strive for......or look forward to......or we have no "purpose" in life. I don't think this is realistic.

I have nothing big on the horizon. Not that I know of, anyway! But I'm happy. The word that comes to my mind most frequently is "content". I'm content with my life. It might not be what I envisioned but it's what it is meant to be.....and I'm satisfied with that. Some things I can change....some I can't.

I'm one of those people who did it all when I was young.
No children, no ties, life was loaded with new adventures and I grabbed at every one.
I had sooo much fun, and never felt guilty about any of it. I remember a very good friend telling me once in the middle of a river trip: "These ARE the good old days" and they were!

I have to behave now and act like a mature adult, taking care of a house and working a "real" job, health insurance and all that, the whole saving for old age, etc. but it isn't me. If it wasn't for MS I'd still be living in a tent, working on rivers around the world, eating mac and cheese for pennies.

I have this recurring dream where I wake up and don't have a chronic, expensive disease and I quit my job, cash in my IRA and hit the road again, without a care in the world. I still believe that in a few years I will be back out there, but for now, it's adulthood and all the lovely things that go with it! BLEAH!

I still have dreams and goals..

Hi Debbie,

For the life of my I can't find any fault with the way you feel, other than the frustration at not remembering what you've read.

From what you describe you do indeed sound content with your life. What's wrong with that? Isn't that what the majority of people are trying to attain? Contentment?

I envy you a little bit because I know I will never be content. I will always be going at it 100% (as my situation permits) and pushing the envelop as far as I can get away with in life.

I think then, it is I who have the problem because I keep coming up with new dreams and pursuing them rather than being relaxed and content.

Am I making any sense here? Well, it won't matter because by the time Debbie reads this far she will have forgotten what this post is about anyway.

I watched my mom and dad, who never took care of themselves, smoked like chimneys, ate crap, and sat on their *chairs*, die way too young. My dad died on the kitchen floor of a heart attack when he was a month shy of 56, and my mom died not quite 3 years later at the age of 57 from lung cancer (actually, she gave up; doc said she was no way close to death pathologically).

They had me when they were in their late 30s; couldn't take me places or play with me. Luckily, I had a sis, 8 yrs older who took me to movies and the amusement park.

Anyway, DH and I decided to have kids while we were young so as to be able to enjoy them and still have a life after they were grown. Now I'm glad I did. Arthritis and MS have made it difficult to function the way I had hoped. I didn't want to be like my parents. And I am much more active, working out several days per week, I try to eat better than they did, I don't smoke.

But it is a daily struggle due to difficulty moving and the fatigue that hits every day. I no longer can clean the house like I used to; I can still cook up a storm, and DH is certainly happy about that...but as for being able to be mobile enough to do things with DH that he'd like to do...I'm kind of a drag. It saddens me, I guess, to feel infirm as my parents were...

And I don't like giving up, and giving in!! I want to write, darn it! I want to take awesome photos!! I want to hire a cleaning person to have my house the way I used to have it after I cleaned every Friday (I am resolved to get my way on this issue).

I want to feel as if I have a dream, a goal. One that's fun and not a drag like losing weight...that's definitely not my idea of fun

I have to sort through my dreams and see which ones were truly dreams, which were fantasies, and which were just good ideas.

I was thinking of my Mom, and her longtime dream, which was to have Willard Scott wish her a happy 100th birthday on television. Mom died when she was 86 so never saw that dream come true.

She never got back to Point Loma to see one more sunset, she never got the Scottie dog she always wanted, and she never achieved either of her career goals: to be a teacher, or a minister.

I often wondered if she had times of regret or even bitterness that those (and other) dreams were not realized. If so, she never mentioned it.

Sometimes dreams are just pleasant dreams.. Your Mom probably saw that sunset in her dreams, many times.