[Blessings2You]

I hate being like this. Emailing back and forth with my daughter and granddaughter, who live near each other but a couple of hours from me. Granddaughter and her boyfriend will be in the area Saturday and Sunday (staying with family friend), my daughter Sunday and Monday, my granddaughter may stay one more day and ride home with my daughter...

....and they might be at my house Saturday or Sunday, separately or all three at once, plans are up in the air. I'm already freaked and glad I'm communicating with them by email rather than phone so they can't TELL I'm freaked.

So I WANT them to come, whenever they can...but "advance notice" means something different to me than it used to. We only shop every couple of weeks, and the menu plan is for Ma and Pa, not company. Let's see, the plan was to wash my hair again Sunday...guess I'll change it to Saturday...unless I end up going to church...which is out if they come on Sunday...AAAAGH.

The big problem is, I can remember being normal. Vaguely, but I can remember. I don't LIKE being all confused and overwhelmed over nothing. And if telling myself "just relax", "don't worry", "it will work out fine", all that stuff...if that worked, I wouldn't be freaked to start with. Gah.

[Debbie D]

For many of us MSers, there's a disconnect in our brain wiring between the logic center and emotional center. That's why we get so easily overwrought by stressors like change in routine, etc.

Why don't you tell the kids to bring in food? It'll be easier for you, and let them help you out a bit...

I try not to dwell on what I used to be able to do and not do now...instead I try hard to think about what I CAN do...if I can just remember what that is...

[SallyC]

I hear you Blessings. I simply don't do plans anymore. If family or friends chose to drop in or make plans for somethin at my house, it's totally their plans. I'm a guest in my own home.

And that's fine with me, I don't want them to feel unwelcome, because Momma isn't with the program, anymore.

You need to talk with your loved ones and quit pretending you're normal..

[doydie]

I agree with the others. There needs to be a family meeting of the minds. They need to know that you need an advance notice, and not just a one day. Family time needs to be enjoyed, savored and not a time of stress.

[Blessings2You]

I don't want to miss an opportunity to see my granddaughter, for example, because she says to herself, "Oh, we'll be near Grammy's this afternoon, but that's too short notice and I don't want her to be upset and anxious...".

I just wish my logic center and emotional center would communicate with each other SOME of the time, and that it wouldn't take so long that the moment has already passed.

[SallyC]

Originally Posted by Blessings2You

I don't want to miss an opportunity to see my granddaughter, for example, because she says to herself, "Oh, we'll be near Grammy's this afternoon, but that's too short notice and I don't want her to be upset and anxious...".

I just wish my logic center and emotional center would communicate with each other SOME of the time, and that it wouldn't take so long that the moment has already passed.

Now, these days, IMHO, Family drop ins should always be allowed, especially if the house is a mess and there is nothing to cook!!!