How terrible, Dej. :( She's in my prayers. How's she doing today?

The Hazmat clean up crew was there most of the day yesterday. They had to cut out about a 4 foot section of the brand new hardwood floors, and even had to cut out sub floor. They cut out a section of wall board and cleaned the rest. They did not restore the floor, just left it with a hole in it! Since it was a body fluid spill it cost more 4 thousand dollars! This is without restoration! OMG! Her house insurance will cover it, but dang! We are sending in a contractor today to fix the holes. repaint, and so forth.

She slept in half hour slices, and woke screaming a few times. She came and got in bed with me, so that was good. She slept for 4 hours straight after that. Her dad has taken her out for some light grocery shopping as she is completely gluten free, and wants yummies. He is also taking her to the spa for a massage when they are done.

The police entered his new apartment and found a note attached to a photo of them together. He said he was sorry, and she should just keep all his stuff. (WTH!) The police contacted his parents and they are doing whatever it is they are doing. They have not called or tried to reach out to her in anyway to say im sorry, or we are thinking of you, or OMG ...nothing! She was given the option if she wanted me to find out about any services, and she said she doesnt want to know, and she doesnt want to go, and if his parents cant call in the first 24 hours, then she doesnt want to hear from them.

She reached anger pretty quickly and I was proud of her for seeing that she was the victim of a horrible crime and even if it was at the hands of someone who professed love for her he left her with an awful mess, and memories that need to be handled. She has an appointment with a counselor starting Monday. She wanted a few days to calm down, sleep, and put some distance between her and the event.

Her brother is taking her out for dinner tonight, and they will have a chance to be with each other and chat.

Thank you for the support and prayers. She really is a great young woman and no one deserves this kind of mess.

:hug:Hugs to you and DD.:hug: Good that that chapter of her life is over but such a dramatic finale does no one any good. With you and your immediate family's help, it sounds like DD will come out of this just fine.

What a horrible thing for your DD to experience. Prayer being said for her.

such a selfish, selfish person

Her bestest most trusted friend has flown in from his work in Africa where is is working as an MD with doctors without borders and has vowed he is hers for the next month. The man is a gem and has always been a rock for her. More brother material than b/f they have always leaned heavily on each other. He is gathering a memorial service for her that is inclusive of her friends only. Time for all of them to say goodbye, cuss, kick, scream and spit. Once upon a time this man was oh so loved, and for him to spin and create such an act of violence is horrific. His parents has made this obit that made him sound like a saint and are creating a scholarship fund in his name. I do understand that they too need to find a way to honor their son, as for the majority of his life we didnt know him as an unstable wreck. we knew him as loving and caring and a wonderful man. I am sure they too are in shock and grief over the loss.

We made arrangements for his parents to come get his truck out of the driveway, go thru her apartment and claim any item that is his (we have a guide for them) and we have assured them that any item they don't wish, or cant handle that we can take care of it for them. Whether it be thru donation or ceremony. She doesn't wish to keep any of this things from his extremely expensive camera and electronic equipment to his clothing. Her brother will guide them thru the house and point out everything that is his, while protecting what is hers. He left very little at her home as he had just moved to his own place, but was refusing to take any of his stuff out of her home other than what she put on the curb. He felt he would be allowed back home if he begged hard enough.

Since his note said you can keep my stuff, everyone feels they are doing her some sort of service to let her have his things. After being so violent with her, and demanding such a violent end to things in front of her, she has no desire to have, hold, touch or view any of his things. I'm so thankful that we have great help.

The floor will be repaired after his parents leave.

She has a long way to go, as she is still in shock, still sleepless, and replays it in her head on a constant loop. I am glad more and more of her good friends are flying in from their respective states.

thank you for the prayers. Mopping up the aftermath is a chore. she has a long way to go.

Oh, how well I understand about that constant loop playing in the head. I don't know how to make it stop. Laying in bed is the worst because there's nothing else to do but think.

If she has a radio or something with little earbuds she could play something soothing? Or maybe she needs loud and raucous right now.

His parents toured the place, and my DS played tour guide. Mom wanted to see "where it happened" and sat and wept for a while at the spot. Dad didnt want to know about anything other than "where are his guns!" DS told him the cops have his guns, he can collect them when he is ready. DS showed them his clothes, (nope, we dont want them) his hat collection (nope we dont want them) his shed full of lawn mowers, bikes, leaf blowers and such (nope we dont want them) his video games (expensive collection with fancy machines!) nope dont want them. and they moved onto electronics and camera stuff. They asked for his cameras and left his desktop and laptop. DS said "he may have photos on the laptop that you can rescue (nope dont want them) They were very cold and buttoned up.

DS said that his sister went thru a horrible crime in this house and has yet to be able to return. After what happened he was surprised they had not tried to at least call her to see if she was ok. The response was "we dont blame her for what she did to him" DS said "EXCUSE ME!?!" They went on to say that if she had not kicked him out, and simply listened to him instead of throwing him out like trash, their son would be alive today, but they understand she did what a young woman thought was best" He jumped in to scream that "did you know he was cheating on her with not one but 6 women?! he was having an email relationship with 2 others and going out to see 2 more locally! how doesnt that give her the right to ask him to leave?" Mom responded that "well, he said he never had sex with any of them, so he was never unfaithful now was he?" DS said he said "lets just end this tour by saying your son placed my sister in a great deal of danger and it was really close that he was going to take her with him. While I am sorry this happened to your son it happened at HIS hand not her, and she is a victim of a crime here. this was a criminal act, so dont act like she could have stop this! if you have all you came for, I will show you the door" (good boy!) They took his truck, and 3 cameras. They asked if he had any bank books or legal papers and DS said "not that I know of" They asked about his share of the insurance money from the house fire and DS said "he spent on it the house" they asked if he had any money hidden in sock drawers or tin cans (are we in the 40s?) and DS said "I know of no money." and they left.

DH and DD spent the day at the butterfly farm. its a very nice place where butterflies run free and dance on you. They had a nice lunch out and she got to cry in the park. He was glad to see her finally able to cry. They went fishing, and hiking after that and spent the whole day doing outside stuff instead of her sitting on a couch staring at folks who want her to talk about it.

She is going to try again today to return there. I seriously dont think she will be able to live there again. it was just too violent. We also wont be telling her anything about what his parents said. Just to say she should keep, sell or destroy anything else they have left behind. They hold no ill will, and let it go.

Words fail here but I'm sorry you're having to deal with this horror.

I can understand that everyone involved might want to leave the whole scene forever. Some things are too horrible, and this is one of them.

What a shame that the young man's relatives couldn't have kept their lips zipped until they'd calmed down.

People say weird things they don't mean when they're in shock, and I hope they didn't mean to do any harm. But words that are said can't be taken back.

Very unfortunately.

DD went to tour the house with her best friend, and she couldnt even go in. She sobbed and almost had to be taken away on a stretcher. Her friend took her home with him, showed her to the "guest wing" (omg too much money!) and told her she can stay as long as she wants. She slept for a while and then when she woke up she said she has made up her mind that there is no need to go back there. She will make a list of what she wants saved from the place and then it can go on the market, be rented or burned to the ground. The bank can have it or it can just be left to rot. She called an apartment complex that she felt was safe and sane and asked about renting a one bedroom. She is also going to the humane society to rescue a dog. She always wanted a dog and he said no.

I am so proud of her for realizing that she cant do it, and no one expects her to be able to. I cant imagine sleeping in the same room or same house that this happened in. He destroyed so much with his behavior long before he committed suicide, and the the gift just keeps on giving.

She has some healing to do, and will be seeing a counselor. She is making smart choices, and I am so proud of her. I dont know what will become of the home, but if she cant rent/sell it she will probably let the bank take it. They will ruin her credit but she can over come that.