My sister and I were very close as kids. Life’s twists and turns have led us both in very different directions, but I care deeply for her as she does for me. She lives close by, but we were never the “drop in” kind of people, and I don’t see her very often.

Several years ago she started really getting into going to the movies. One of her daughters was breaking into the movie critic business, and I guess she got my sister interested in it. We used to go to the movies on Wednesday afternoon for “seniors half price” day, and we’d almost always have the whole theater to ourselves.

A couple of years ago it started to be quite difficult for me to sit still for a whole movie. That is one of my MS symptoms. So I started “begging off” on our Wednesday excursions. Then I stopped going altogether.

My next big MS issue was “brain farts.” Not just losing words, but whole trains of thought. Every time I open my mouth to say something, there is a real chance that I’ll lose my train of thought before I can finish the sentence. I was glad that I didn’t see her much any more because she has never seen me this way. I may have even hurt her feelings by putting her off when she wanted to visit.

So today I got a FaceBook message from her. It was short and sweet. “I want to come and visit you next week. What day is good for you?” Given the directness of her message, I couldn’t gracefully sidestep the meeting. She’ll be visiting me on Tuesday.

I guess I am going to have to explain the “brain fart” symptoms to her, because there is no way I’ll get through the whole visit without my cognitive problems becoming obvious. I don’t mind letting her know that I have verbal problems and why, but . . .

That brings us to the next problem: Every time I even think about how I will approach the subject with her, I cry. As we all know, crying at inappropriate times is also an MS symptom. What I am afraid of is that I’ll start crying if I slip up on my words. Then I’ll be so flustered that I’ll be unable to put two sentences together to explain to her what is going on with me. I'll just sit there and cry, and cry, and cry.

I’ve thought about FaceBook messaging her and telling her about these problems. I’ve considered printing out some info about these symptoms, and if I need to explain I can hand them to her.

Any suggestions on how I am going to get through this with at least some dignity?

IMHO

You did a really great job in your post explaining stuff. I'd e-mail or Facebbok the stuff and not hand stuff as needed. This way she has time to read and/or re-read and doesn't get under stress. She must be a lot like her sister, it'll go fine.

She doesn't know you have MS , or she doesn't know what your symptoms are now?
If she does know about the MS, I would hope she would have read about it a bit.

i agree that you were very well spoken in your post to us.
i think you could print that and have it handy IF you need to use it.

it seems your sister really cares about you or she wouldn't have forced a visit on you. just be honest and talk from your heart. i think you'll be fine.

Kicker, what a wonderful thing for you to say. Thank you.

Jo*mar, she knows I have MS, and has been aware of the symptoms that she can see. For example, she knows that I walk with a walker. For some reason, though, fessing up to having cognitive problems is very hard for me.

Part of it is something I saw happen to my husband's aunt. The minute her adult children found out that she had cognitive problems, she was packed away to a "home,” and one of her kids was legally put in charge of her affairs. She was quite well off, but she had no access to her own money, and would have to beg her daughter for money for odds and ends at the "home's" general store.

The thought of that gives me the willies about my own situation.

Nurse Nancy, what a wonderful idea! I'll print out the post, and if I have a problem I can show her that. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Good luck Marion. I hope the visit goes well for you..

Good luck Marion. If you can't cry with your sister who you love very much, then who can you cry with. That's what sisters are for. If she is anything like what you describe your relationship then you will be OK. She obviously is missing seeing you and wants to reclaim that. Let us know how it goes

Thank you everybody for your wonderful support. I'll let you know how it goes.

marion

With love, Erika