In a round-about way, Bethie, it sounds like this woman is abusing your good intentions. She sounds like the type who is never satisfied with anything but the attention and pity. It's a form of manipulation.

The most disturbing part of this behavior is that she may be causing others to become so jaded to the situation that they will think twice before helping someone who is genuinely desperate and truly in need of help.

You might just have to walk away and give yourself a rest from her.

I agree with you, Beth. Unfortunately, this has probably become a pattern of behavior for this person and it's unlikely to change. They like the attention that it gives them. They are what I call "drama queens". Make it shound really, really bad and urgent and then when a group of concerned friends suggests something that might require action all of a sudden things aren't as bad as originally described.

Sox made a very good point. I too did not talk about what was going on in my home. I never asked for help. I never talked to my family and friends about things that were happening in the house. In fact, a lot of the verbal stuff that was going on I didn't realize until much later.

It was my boss that sensed that things weren't right and talked to me one day. While I was taken back by it, I also was defensive. It took me a while but after a few bizarre events, I knew what I had to do. (Mental illness was involved here). Bless my bosses heart! When I came to decision to leave I asked for time off to move. Not only did he give me a few days off, he gave some of the employees (men) time off to help me move and one of the girls in the office the day off to be with me.

Never did I say the things this girl has said. So, maybe she is seeking attention.

No Beth, your not the only one who sees what this person does. Some of us just choose not to get involved

Unfortunately, this person has a whole new audience and is going to play them for all she can. She has a sickness beyond MS and she truly needs mental health intervention.

She doesn't want help, she just wants to play the pity card for all she can and make excuses - you can't help someone like that but just be thankful your not like her.

I have a friend who was dealing with abuse (not physical). Although she never asked for my help we gave it to her. She took it with tears in her eyes and has said thank you more times than I can count.

There were no stings attached to what we offerred and gave. She is still with her husband but she found the strength and courage to not put up with his bull and knows she does have other options - she said she would never have been able to do what she has done without what we have done for her

When someone really needs help and are at the bottom they will take any and all offers. The person your referring to doesn't want the help. I'm just sorry so many people get sucked in and there is no way to let others know that don't know.

Beth, let it go. There is nothing you can do

Beth,

Many of us were drawn into that series of cries for help,..., only to find that all of a sudden everything was OK.

Then the was another post of absolute desperation. And we all were worried, until once again, everything was OK.

Now there is a new crowd playing the game and if it is ever real,..., nobody will be there to help because the game is getting very old and is abusive to US.

Hang in there Beth. We are in the same boat regarding this issue.

Speaking of boats....islands...and sand, let me know where to send you you part of the Kona beach! I will send it when we get back to the mainland.

-Vic

i know what you mean beth, your friendship, compassion and kindness, were taken advantage of and used. Unfortunately, there are some folks out there who have no guilt in doing something like this, be it for attention or because, all the screws are not tighten, either way it is not fair to the person who reaches out.

If it helps any, you did what was you, the right thing, you know the story of the good samaritan how many passed him by in his state of despair, before the one reached out, for trying Beth

Beth

Rest assured that you are not the only one who has been suckered in by this type of situation. I've been there...and many others have been too. These people love the attention, need the attention, crave it and when called out, YOU ARE the bad person. How DARE you call attention to them in a negative manner...who are YOU to doubt their real life situation.

They say you aren't living here, you aren't walking in my shoes...and the story goes on.

Well, you know what...this person has been called out by more than one person on more than one occasion and it just continues. She refuses to accept her situation...she wants to be a victim. It serves her purpose. So, let it be. You are a better person and you CAN live with yourself.

Walk away...and know you have done what you can and if and when she can or will accept the reality of life...then she will. But until then, know that you are a better person for having tried.

Some people have to truly hit bottom...and I mean hit bottom before they can see the light.

to you Beth...you are one of the good ones...and a keeper!!

I hear ya Beth!! I don't think I gave any advice on that particular confession. You can see the pattern for the last couple of weeks.

I'm not exactly sure of her situation but while there are women like Sox (myself included)that keep to themselves, maybe it was her way of getting advice on what to do. And in a way her confession was anonymous because she doesn't personally know us. It's a classic battered-woman response (I worked for a pd for 3 yrs) and heard/saw it many times--yeah he hurts me, oh but he loves me.

If indeed she is in that situation it will be only her that reacts and chooses when enough is enough.

I admire you for giving her advice and your sincere concern. I hope it won't stop you from doing the same for someone else as it could make a huge difference for someone.

I've been around since 2003...same story...different chapter. It just keeps happening...I think Snoopy said it all ....

Beth, you are just too kind hearted sometimes! We all seem to have someone in our life, someone who is more disabled, someone who is so nice and her entire family has forsaken her, someone who's spouse abuses them and there is no way out for them, someone who doesn't ever have enough attention and keeps seeking it in the only way they know.

In Dr. Phil's words, that person will die a very lonely person because they end up pushing everyone in their real life away.

Take care, Beth, and keep emailing me and getting it all out of your system!

Love ya