I've been pretty busy with home life and having a rough time getting any time online. Both kids, the DGD and one BF had moved in. Remember that limerick where all the animals made a home in that guy's beard? That's how I feel.



Now my kids are grown - one has moved in and out so many times we've lost count. It's time they got their acts together and grew up, got on with it already. It's not always easy getting them out though. We had to be creative.

What dh and I have learned may help some other parents out there, so here are some tips.

Bad food. Store brand only, and always the same stuff (unless they like it). It also helps to make a huge amount of one thing and eat it for 4 days in a row - like Hamburger Helper.

*Bonus points if it's Tuna Helper*

Rough toilet paper. The kind you'd find at highway rest stops is perfect. I smuggle Cottonelle in for my personal use.

*Bonus points if you knock on the bathroom door every time they go in there*

**Double bonus points if you start the dishwasher when they're taking a shower**

Annoying pets. The louder, the better. If the animals wake them up early, that's excellent. If the animals scare them, that's even better.

*Bonus points if the animals chew up their stuff, as long as the pets don't get hurt*

Annoying extended family. Trust me, it's worth putting up with them just to get the kids out of the house, even for the afternoon. 3 hrs of MIL and I found a phone.

Speaking of phones, once in a while, turn the ringers off. Then blame them. And talk the whole time they're trying to have a conversation (unless they are inquiring about an apartment).



Squeaky doors - you always know what room they're in.

TV. Wait until they are about 30 minutes into a movie/tv show. Sit down and ask 500 questions.

Love it.

My son was going to move back in with me when he was in his early twenties, I think it was. I said, "Wow, that would be great! Come over sometime this weekend and we'll talk about the house rules, rent, and stuff."

Silence.

Then, "Uh...house rules?"

Me: "Well, yes. I mean, you're welcome to come back here and live with me, but of course we'll have to talk about what time it has to be quiet in the evening, chipping in for the groceries, things like that."

Can you believe it? He didn't move back in.

Great ideas, Brain.

But let me add a clarification to the pets--don't let them have their own.

When you have a HUGE St. Bernard (puppy) eat your kitchen floor because she's bored and she's not YOUR pet, that's not good. Don't let your kids' pets eat your house when they live there with you. It is preferable to have pets that eat your children.

Mom????????????? Is that you??????????????

Oh, my goodness did I ever get a laugh out of that, Brain!!!

My oldest son moved back home a couple of months ago and it's been nice but there have been moments when I wanted to scream (but didn't).

He's 25 and was used to being out on his own for a few years so Mom asking questions was new to him (and me).

I think I made my point when I woke up at 4 AM a couple of weekends ago and he was not home. Of course, I thought the worst, and called him. No answer. So.....I called every 15 minutes and still got no answer. By 6 AM I was in a panic. All I could think of was he was hurt or worse and his driver's license address has not been changed to mine yet and nobody knew to call me, blah, blah, blah.........

Well, he finally called about 6:30 AM.......he had fallen asleep at his buddy's house and didn't hear the phone. Whatever....I've heard the ringtone on his phone and there is no way you cannot hear that thing unless you were dead.

I told him that I could not be subjected to that kind of stress with my MS (yes, I will use my MS anytime I think it will cause guilt or worse...). He apologized and said it wouldn't happen again.

Oh, and don't forget yard work......I make him split the chore with Kevin and when it's 95 degrees outside that is indeed a "chore".

BTW...I see in myself the very things that my parents did that irritated me so much (when I was much younger). I am so proud of myself!!!

I have a better idea, don't have kids! (Of course that wasn't by choice, it just was.)

Then they can't move back in with you. If your nieces and nephews want to move in, treat them like boarders. Then you can evoke the house rules and rent contract! Just like a landlord. My nephew didn't stay long!

Brain, you should have that printed and framed!

ROTFLMAO!! Just yesterday I asked one of my adult men to go get something to eat. For crying out loud WE WERE PAYING! They went back and forth on who was going to do the horrible ride to the local eatery. After asking about 15 times I finally huffed and went to get food myself. I got all the way into town only to realize I didn't have my debit card. So, back home I go even more ticked off.

I get home and inform both kids how ashamed they should be bickering like children. I told them mom and dad pay all the bills, groceries and utilities. I reminded them that they are adults and that if they are living here for free they will go out anytime I ask them too as well as doing the yard work etc. Now, I am getting the "blank" stare. You know the one where they are looking at you as if you have lost it?

So, I up'd the ante. I told them both that this is the last summer they are allowed to live here for free. There will be no more bickering over who does what and more and blah blah blah. I told them mom will take care of everything just as I did when they were gone and in school. The only thing they have to do is PAY RENT as if they are tenants instead of my adult kids. They will also be responsible for their own groceries and toiletries. I will provide the bucket they can carry to and from the bathroom. They are to get their own refridgerator to keep in their room. There will also be a schedule for kitchen, laundry and bathroom privileges. lmao Oh if only you could have seen the look in their eyes. PRICELESS.

Amazing how willing they are to help out now.

*waiting patiently for that college degree so they can get jobs*

Too funny Brain. Thanks for the laugh!!

Great work! Had me sitting here laughing

hi there thats great my kids have moved out and come back with extra ones so im glad to see im not the only one ali