I frankly don't know where to start, but I feel it's time to explain a few things. Thank you for the notes, cards, pm's, emails and posts wondering about me. I tend to be a little private *I know, hard to believe* but since so many have been asking~~ here is what my last few months have been like. This really isn't a vent, just an explanation.

I started out a few months ago just thinking I needed a little break from being on the PC.

In Nov, I had an upper GI and they found a Gastric Ulcer, which I am still trying to heal, w/o alot of success. (blah)

Then I had the very worst stomach bug I've ever had in my life and ended up in bed for 3-4 days. *another blah*

DS *who is a kidney transplant* had upper GI scope due to L side pain and is still doctoring for that w/o any relief, so may be seeing the surgeon at the Univ Hosp in the next couple of days. *we call tomorrow*

MIL fell last Mon night, so we rushed her to the ER, all the while fighting w/stupid BIL who didn't think she needed to go. Little did we know she had a heart attack and developed a blood clot around her brain from the fall, so was transferred 2 hrs away to the Univ. She had emergency brain surgery on Christmas Eve, so we were out there until around 5am Christmas day.

She is still hospitalized and will more than likely have to be placed in NH due to advancing Alzheimers. *still fighting w/BIL about that one, too*

Today, I get a call w/my Dexascan *bone density* results and after over a whole yr of Boniva infusions every 3 months, my bones have thinned out more and my spine is extremely brittle. I am considered high risk for spine, hip and femoral neck fx's. That's the straw that broke the camel's back and I finally broke down and cried. It felt good to cry.

The tx plan may now be daily injections of a bone building drug to try and slow down or halt the bone thinning. I drove 70 miles today to pick up a container for a 24 hr urine catch to check for underlying problems besides the Osteoporosis. I don't know when I'll get that done, but hoping to in the next few days depending on DS. When I do collect it, I have to deliver it back to the clinic right away and have add'l labwork.

My dear cousin had a massive stroke around T'giving. I visited her and she has lost all communication, except w/her eyes. She cannot move or speak, but her eyes told me everything I needed to know. So, I really don't need to be in a pity party after seeing her. I can do this!!!!

Well, that's it in a very large nutshell. I am really not trying to be stand offish or rude by not being around much; I am in such a fog over the events of the past few months, that I don't know what to do next.

I'm sure I'll get my bearings and snap out of it, but in the meantime, I will pop in when I can.

So, for all the birthdays, posts and Holiday wishes etc that I have missed; this is for you HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, I wish you all well and Happy New Year.

PS, I have to tell you one more thing! I got the most amazing phone call on Christmas night from Anne/Koala. Talk about a shining spot in my day, heck in the past few months for that matter. She is amazing and sounds like the angel that she is. Thank you Anne and Russell! Oh, and the Nappy one has been harrassing me to keep my spirits up, too. I'll smack her another time.

Take care all!

Why didn't you just say so, DM? (kidding, just kidding!)..That is an unbelievable "nutshell"..You're always in our thoughts ~ pop in when you can as always, take good care of yourself!
((((HUGS))))
Kris

I, for one, completely understand. I have been / am at a point where I can't even feel like who I used to be. I want to be her, but I'm not. I hope to get back to where I used to be, but who knows???

Every year for the last four years, I looked forward to a new year because it would surely have to be better than the one that just ended. Well, that hasn't so much worked out, so I'm going to try to just work on one day at time.

You sound overwhelmed and overtaxed. You need to take time for you and take care of you. We will still be here.

and here we thought you didn't love us anymore.

Take all the time you need sweetheart. You and your family are in our prayers and thoughts.

We love you DM.

Oh, our poor little DM. I'm so sorry for all you've been through! I hope your DS will be ok and you too. You have so much on your plate. We do love you, and take all the time that you need. I'll keep you in my prayers and so will DH. (((((((DM))))))))

I so have missed you dear and wondered.... HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSS great BIG HUGSSS DM!! We all love you dearly, you take time away from pc that you need!! and especially take care of YOU!! sorry about the nutshell you are going thru.... we can try to understand... my tiny nutshell is the loss you know of my sister after battling cancer... today we found out my dad, even though his colonoscopy was clear few years ago... he had one today.... and many polyps but also a spot, they are biopsy it...but the dr already said, he really thinks just from the looks of the spot that it is cancer!!! here we go again!!

Anyhow sorry got off topic, just know no matter how the nutshell cracks, we are here for YOU! we love you, miss you but sooo understand the need to concentrate away from the PC...take care of YOU hugssssssssss,sarah

we really do love you princess!!! I hope that things get better for you
and your family....I will keep you and yours in my prayers.

Awww DiMmy!

(another one i can't hug cause she'll break!)

You take all the time you need to heal and deal!
You have more than enough on your mind now, so just don't pay us no nevermind!

Just don't forget us! We're pulling for you!

DM I figured it had to be something big that was keeping you occupied... WOW was it! I will be praying for your DS, MIL and you. Want someone to kick the BIL in the shins?? I'll pray he gets on the same page with the rest of the family.

TK2C

Gotcher back, ya' brittle little dingbat.