Im having one of those weeks. It happens in the spring for me. The snow clears, the sun comes out, and folks start re appearing from their winter nests. Plans are made, BBQs are fired up, and folks start making plans to play. I have been asked so many times to so many places, and I simply cant do it. Alot of folks have stopped asking. Some ask even though they know I cant/wont be able to go. I miss being able to play.

I try not to whine, I have a good life, a good hubby, my bills are paid, I have great medical care, and I am alive. Im just bored, and sick of this. Can I get a do over please? MS cheated me out of my turn. MOOOOOMMMM!!!

I totally understand. I had to pass up an invitation to a cook out Sunday afternoon. It would have been a long event and all afternoon outside.....just can't do that anymore. And I wanted to go so badly! I get so tired of hearing "wish you could have been there".

I hear you all.. Even though I've had MS since my 20s (Lite then), I didn't have the big loop change until my early 50s. Even then, I pushed myself to go and do, as much as I could. The day came, though, when I could no longer keep up.

Most of my so called friends disappeared....like I was contagous or something.. Even my best friend doesn't call or stop in, like she used to do. She is still there when I need her though and her Kids. I love them all and I understand they have their lives...just like my own Kids..

The "Loop" has stretched out to be one long limp wet noodle..

Sometimes being out of the loop can be a good thing. I do not miss office politics, corporate red tape, having to go to work related functions based on a "position" you held, etc.

What I do miss though is some of the social interactions and the helping people in the work environment. I sometimes miss getting up in the morning and having somewhere to be. However, I do try to get over to my parents once a week, go to the library and use the computer there a couple of times a week, and volunteer 1-3 times a week for a few hours at church. Doing this really makes a difference for me as I get the social interaction and the somewhere to be but on a more flexible schedule.

I think once we stop working there is a transition phase that we have all gone through, even those that are healthy and retiring. Although, it is different when "retiring" due to an illness as you don't have the "health" to just do what you want. Once you go through that phase, you start seeing all the possibilities of things that you CAN do and you start doing it. That makes a huge difference.

Give yourself a little time B2Y and know that what you are going through is normal and will eventually pass. Besides, you have all of us to keep you in the loop.

Thank you, all my loopy friends!

And yes, yes, a thousand times yes...it's a form of mourning. (Can you see the newspaper notice: Tuesday at 7, support group for grieving loop loss) Especially when leaving the loop is more like flunking out than graduating.

People ask, "So, are you enjoying your retirement?" The first couple of times, I couldn't think what to say. In their defense, a lot of people didn't KNOW I retired because I had to...after all, I worked there for 29 years (and 4 months).

Now I'm ready for that question, and I say something corny like, "You know, there's something in just about every day that I enjoy."

It kind of hurts sometimes when it's as though I disappeared off the face of the earth ("nobody calls, nobody cares") but then I say to myself, "So...how many times did you call Sue or Cheryl after THEY retired?" Ouch.