Another one bites the dust....

tshadow · 08-29-2006, 06:05 AM

This news is not welcome, but, maybe you will have some peace and quiet that will relate to less pain. (???) Maybe?

When it is not me who is being left by a love, and I am outside looking in, it is much easier to see that there may be a plan and that your life may end up better for it. The situation with your son and his new baby coming sounds really exciting and wonderful.

But when it's me who is in pain, I don't "do" break-ups very well - my divorce took me three years to handle! I think I cried for a whole year. And I'm not a crier!

After 13 years with my fiance, I do allow breaks. I mean, we've had two brief ones, including moving away - and he moved back - and we talked and I took him back. We are meant for eachother, but we're not perfect.

We were just talking about how different he is now than when we met - I mean, he used to eat at 8 PM, and now he likes to eat early like me. So many BIG things, and little things, that he wasn't and now is. (Thanks to me, haha.) But seriously, he took a couple of time-outs for a couple of months, to think over whether he was happy changing with me, or, if he wanted to be alone. I didn't bug him during those times. I allowed him to come to the conclusion that both times, he loved me more than anything, and he wasn't being controlled. Some men have this deep-seated fear of control, vulnerability and true intimacy.

I will pray that whatever happens in your life, Grom, that it is a positive thing, and something that hopefully will bring you less pain of TOS. So I'll be praying for you by name, ok?

And Serenity prayer, yes. So hard, though.

Hugs, Tam

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