Hi there it has been a while since i wrote anything but there has been no changes will for the good any ways. I have been in a depression once again and been fighting to get out of it slow and steady she goes. I find now when a bout of depression happens it gets harder to pull my self out of it i don't cry as much as i did before either i seem to not wont to talk to any one or do anything it has changed and not for the better. I am on pills for it and i do talk to a shrink when i need to. But it is happening more often and last longer i really need to do something with my life but every thing has been put on hold once again. I am still waiting to see the neurologist i called a while back and she reassured me that she has not forgotten about me. I still can't drive and no bus services in the country so i am still stuck at home going bonkers ha ha. Once spring comes at lest me and Chico can start going for walks again i can't wait to get back to getting some exercise. I hope that every one else that has had the surgery done lately is doing good and that it works for them. Will i think i better sign off before i sound to pathetic feeling sorry for my self but i guess this is part of living with pain and not being whole. I wish yous the best so bye for now

Aaaah, Mucker, you were one of the people post-surgery I was thinking of!

Oh, yes, the depression - or is just the dealing with the reality of this WHOLE TOS - nothing like what I used to consider depression...this is a lot harder, and my heart goes out to you in friendship, with love, with compassion.

When I had telephone counseling it seemed like almost a waste of time, but on some level it did help me cope and gave me a meditation that I still use.

But basically, there are still some days when I have to "fake it" hour by hour, until my old self comes back.

God bless you, sincerely, and I have a lot of people I need to pray for tonight, just because.

Tam

Mucker I'm glad to see your post. You know I worry about you and others when you dont post. Im here for you, whenever you need a shoulder. As soon as possible when better weather comes I am going to plan a trip to Nova Scotia to meet you and give you a good old fashioned hug from New Brunswick. Just to let you know you are a whole person and a wonderful friend.

Hi there and thanks Tshadow and hairdresser its nice to know that your out there thinking and praying for me and others who need help. All i know is falling in depression is the worst part of the pain and fighting all the time to stay on top of it. Thank god for my chico if it wasn't for him i know i wouldn't get out of bed every day. But god bless him he bugs and bugs till i drag my but out. He makes me play with him and if i don't he will sit there and make noise till i get down on the floor and play. And when he sees the tears fall he runs to me and climes up on me so his paws are on my shoulders and rubs his face against mine as if to say i love you and its ok. It is amazing how a pet can help keep you on track and stop you from curling up in a corner and never coming out. I wish i would have gotten a a dog when this all started and may be i wouldn't have gotten so down. But then again if i had i wouldn't have chico. I guess i should go for now my hands are getting sore and i really need to get some things done around here.

Mucker, I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Of course we all know this time of year is not the best. Being stuck inside. You are lucky you have Chico. I have a golden retriever. When I was first "sick", I was in bed for so long. My dog stayed by my side of the bed until I got up. Everyone else in the family {at the time, hubby and 3 kids), was up but she wouldn't leave my side. Friends to the end. she still sleeps next to me, now its 4 kids and hubby!! I wouldn't want it anyother way. Pets know what you need better than people. Please keep in touch even if you don't think it is important. It is important to all of us to know you are ok. Linda

Hi will i am here looking for some help if any of these things have happened to you i would really like to hear about it and if you saw a doctor could you please tell me what they said. Ok i am now on my six month and to day i was scared out of my mind i thought i was going to die just for a few seconds. I took Chico out side a 1pm just to walk around the yard to get some fresh air all was fine. We were out for about 10min because i can't handle any cold when we came in i took his lead off and went to hang it up on the hook which is eye level to me and i used both hands as i moved to the left the next thing i know i am on the floor gasping for air and the pain running between my shoulder blades was unbearable. I finely made it to my couch were once i found a position so i could breath i called my guy and told him to get home. Will i was waiting i called the doctors office and told her i was having trouble breathing she said hurry up and get here and slammed the phone down. So when i got there she listen to my heart and took the blood presser i was trying to tell her it wasn't my heart but what happened finely when i was able to get enough air i told her about the pain and were and how it came about. So she started to listen to my muscles she said that she could fell and hear them spasming. She said that was what was causing me to breath like that so she gave me some lorazepam and told me to go home and put some heat on it and if it doesn't help then i am to go in and have a xray on my back then go back to her. And if my breathing doesn't get any better then i am to call her right away. Will good thing is the pills and heat have helped i still have to be careful how i move or the pain gets bad and i start gasping again. The other thing that has been going on is i have been chocking a lot when i have drink or something to eat it started some time a go but it has gotten a lot worse this past month it seems to happen daily now were as before it was just every once in a while i don't even no if has anything to do with tos or not but i thought i would ask yous out there. I don't think that i have left any thing out but then again i am alittle loped on my meds right now. Will i hope to here from some one who has had some what the same happen to them thanks

I've had the severe muscle spasms but not the horrible pain like you had.
I get the choking stuff every so often- mostly during flares and mini flares.

It probably has a lot to do with the spasms affecting the neck muscles that are near the throat or even the nerves that are related to the throat.
Oh and the vertebral artery could be affected by spasms too causing swallowing and voice problems.

Yes that does seem to make science i am going to bring that up to the doctor when i see her and she whats she thinks thanks.

Mucker,

My symptoms have not been exactly like yours, but since July, almost every single month I have ended up in ER because I cannot breathe. Finally, the docs are looking at Autonomic Neuropathy (and I list one web version here, but if you will Yahoo Autonomic Neuropathy there are about ten different sites that describe how it feels and what it is.)

I strongly feel you should read these sites. Only you know what exactly it feels like.

I am very sorry you are going through more symptoms.

This sounds very serious, and I will guess will require more tests. I've had an EKG twice which came back with notations (they wouldn't tell me what) then I had a clear Stress Test, the a CT of the upper chest to make sure no blocked veins (with fluid) (it was fine) and next, for a variety of reasons, I am having the brain scan.

On the Autonomic Neuropaty sites there are plenty of decriptions and definitions so I will not go into that here.

You must get access to getting to the doctors and letting them do their job - I kind of remember you had a hard time with transportation. Are you work comp? IF so, they have to provide transportation, do they not? Is that not the same for Medicare?

My thought are with you.

I am also worried about your phrenetic nerve (this controls choking and a whole lot more - breathing)

I'd like to see you get a second opinion from another vascular surgeon. This was after a BP surgery, right? Just wanted to be correct here.

God bless you so much.

Did you have both sides done? When was your last surgery?

Could this be that they nerves are "coming alive" - was there any talk of that? I had soem burning nerve pain that would run up and down my arm, but NOTHING like this much pain. Other than what you've described, do you have any sounds while breathing, or phlegm in the lung, or a feeling that your heart skips a beat?

An Xray? My gosh, I'd have you in some MRIs! Xrays don't show much...

PLEEASE KEEP US UP TO DATE AS MUCH AS YOU FEEL HEALTHY TO DO SO. WE VERY MUCH CARE. Ok? Love your way.