Hi All
Just a quickie, first time posted since my Today I, and fed up rant..for which I say thanks to all for telling me off. I know that I rarely ever complain...anyway just update you

saw Vasc Surgeon yesterday who is pleased with result of corrective work to atery last year....but apart from that there is nothing he can do/offer to help me. Now I always knew this in back of mind but because it was said became a bit like a kick in the head and I ended up crying and having a hug from him. He also fed up and upset as he cannot help... So future lies in Pain Cons and my Vas cons finding someone who may be able to offer something, trial, experimental etc to help with the pain.. My true diagnosis is really still ? and still worry over whether progressive and will affect rest of diaphragm.
So I guess I am really fed up and upset...I felt mentally fatigued yesterday.
Now I know that I won't give up and neither will my doc's in trying to find someone to help...just feel a bit like the engine is stalling at the moment. I know that I have never let myself get depressed, and I cannot for sake of family..but I know now how easy it would be...BUT that won't help me, will it?

Thank goodness for all of you and the support I get from friends and family.

So this is my first real whinge, fed up want to do something without feeling SOB before start, fatigued, in pain.....I suppose what I want is my old life back, but I know that that isn't going to happen. I suppose positively I have more time with family and little fella except not quite the level of activity I want. I crave for a holiday, but flying is out...now Ok can go elsewhere, but dream of a beach, the lapping sea, the warm sun....

That is me for now, and I know if I apologise for whinge that some of you tell me off, but I still think that others worse off than me, so I need to stop and apologise. Suppose that is my coping mechanism...

Right I will end there...and say..to everyone...my best wishes, tommorrow is a new day, let it be a sunny one, hope in the air and to the pain I say...please feel free to take a vacation sometime...........................soon........... ......................

Hi Horizontal One,
I'm so sorry to hear about your news. I hope that you didn't think that anybody was telling you off before! I know I wasn't and don't think anybody else would do that to you either! We're just trying to give you encouragement and as much support as we can. It's understandable that you would feel some depression about this and you don't don't need to apologize to anybody here. You've always been a ray of sunshine here!

For me , sometimes I just need to have a "down day" whether,wether??, {duh can't spell it} it's for health, stress, money or whatever reason.
Then I can mentally pick myself back up and dust the cobwebs out of my brain - it kind of recharges my batteries a bit.

Your dr sounds very caring and wonderful- that's a plus any day.

It sounds a bit like you have "cabin fever" as we call it over here-
{that's when you get tired of seeing the same old walls every day}

You might be able to trick your brain into thinking you are on a beach, or forest or by a stream.
they have those CDs with sounds for surf or streams or a forest.
kind of a semi meditation thing - close eyes listen to the sounds and visualize that you are there??
I did find some samples last year online and played them on the computer -video and music files.

Hi Red' and Jo'
No I did not take it as if anyone is telling me off, just that I know now that if I start apologising for whinging that you will tell me not to...a sort of telling off, if you understand me. I think I am just at the point where I am mentally fatigued and with the pain I am feeling really sorry for myself. This I know won't help me.

My hubbie upset, and he is quiet, but he did say we just have to look forward and see what there is out there.

My docs are very caring, and so helpful in so many ways...I know that I am very lucky.

I am going to let my body have a recharge for a while, and let the news that I knew really sink in. One thing to be glad about is that the blood supply to my one arm is so much better following the recon surgery.

You are all so encouraging....thanks....and supportive....


Anyway....off to sort a few things out as m little fellas bday soon and things to sort out, plus I am going to try to make a card or two. This is a challenge with th esensation and grip issues but when I have completed one I feel really good.

http://s69.photobucket.com/albums/i72/24giggles/

The link above is for the photobucket of some of the cards I have managed to make........ the pword is laugh


Thanks all for your help and support, and I will not bottle up from now on.

Regards

Hx

Hi Helen,
These are the most lovely cards I have ever saw, I have seened alot in my time.

If I was you I would take them Off the Web, and check into getting them patented. You do not need someone copying them and taking the credit.

In the states their are Hallmark & American Greetings. Just a thought but maybe you could have them mass produced. But you need to make sure you get the money.

I would keep a open mind for all the holidays as well, if your up for it. These are the most beautiful cards I have ever seened. I am not saying it because you are in rough shape it's the truth.

Hugs and Love, Roz xxx

Hi Horizontal,

Just a few quick thoughts….I am so glad that you understand that nobody here would accuse you of whining. If anything I think we all really identify with what you are going through. Personally, I cried when I read your post. I cried because of the situation you are in. I cried because I understand perfectly your feelings of frustration, fatigue and loss. I cried because of how brave and upbeat you are.

I can’t use the computer much, so I may have missed some of your posts on the old Braintalk forum. Do I remember correctly that your breathing problems are the result of surgical damage to the phrenic nerve? This is a situation that we can all identify with perfectly, as it could happen to any one of us.

It sounds as though you have great doctors, but even so I’m wondering if it would be possible for you to consult with other docs to get their opinions? I say this because I think we’ve all had the experience of getting different or even conflicting opinions from each doctor we see. Often this is frustrating, but in your case, I wonder if it could be a positive thing—i.e, maybe an opinion from a different doctor could open up a whole new line of investigation or treatment?

It’s so important for all of us TOS’ers to have a place to go where people understand what we’re going through. I hope it helps at least a little to know that we are out here, that we do understand, and that we do care.

Best of luck H, and please keep us posted.

Hugs to you.

I'm so sorry to hear about the news from your Dr.. But your Drs sound great.. I don't think there are too many Drs that would lend a shoulder for someone to cry on.. I think it is so important to have a Dr who cares.. As for the depression most of us have been there and I know I have.. For me if it wasn't for the support of my family and the "Great" friends I've made on this forum I would be lost..
Keep the faith horizontal one.. Your a strong person that has been through so much already and you will make it through the future with the strength and friendships you have..
((Hugs))
Dawn

Helen,

We are family here, and you don't ever have to apologize for whining or complaining. You are always so brave, but I'm sure there are times when things seem overwhelming. There's always a listening ear or supportive shoulder (virtual, anyway!) here, whenever you need one, ok?

I wish your news had been better. I have been through the rounds with pain treatments, so if you have any questions or I can be of help in any way, send me a PM, OK? I will be getting a trial spinal cord stimulator on the 29th to relieve TOS and RSD pain in the hands, arms and underarm areas, if it helps at least 50% a permanent unit will be implanted.

(((hugs)))
beth

Thanks for all the lovely messages......just to say I have taken time to recharge my mental battery...I feel a little better and the news has gone on board....but I will be looking foward and hoping that my docs between them and anything I find we can use to my advantage. They are arranging an appointment with a specilaist some distance a way who deals with the wierd and difficult cases, so we will wait and see. I think it has just been a tough time, having to retire was hard, but now feeling like my whole life taken away was just gut wrenching...but I will be positive, I have to be and I know that you will always be here to listen and help.

Thanks to everyone...big hugs all round...thanks for letting me vent...you know I hate doing it and always feel guilty.

You lot are wonderful...a fab caring forum.

Speak soon
Hx

I have hypnosis cd's if you want to go to relax and pretend you are on the beach is for pain control as well as for relaxation called the island and pain control....2 seperate ones but have many others pm or email me if you want them be glad to send them your way....

Take care hugs,

Victoria