[Cece]

I am new and here on behalf of my dear friend who is like a brother to me.

July through August 2009 was hugely stressful for both of us as I left my husband due to his seeking attention outside of our marriage. JJ fell ill with kidney stones. The last week of August we left for Portland (JJ still suffering from kidney stones) and ended up in New Mexico due to everything snowballing.

September 5, 2009 JJ fell while walking on a sidewalk due to a HUGE gaping bulge which he could not have seen after the sun went down. He suffered a minor concussion and the VA doctor sent him home with pain pills, etc.

At this point, neither of us had a clue just how serious TBI is or could be. We felt that if he rested for 5 days or so, that he could do some work if he took it easy. He had an appointment to meet with a woman to begin some inside work on a duplex.

When he arrived the situation soon became stressful and somehow he stayed for a good while because she ran to get some supplies or something (talked to him on the phone a bit and told him to come home) and then he showed up at home later that afternoon. It was as if we were starting over. He sat on the couch and I asked him what had happened and he said, "I don't know. I can't remember. (He starts crying) My head hurts!" It was the same response he had the first night of his injury.

We went back to the VA and they said it would just take a while to recover and to take it easy. Cat scans were done at the first visit and, of course, nothing showed up. There was nothing to be alarmed about. *sigh*

So, here we are rolling up on two months and things seem to be getting worse instead of better. If he was not with me, he would be homeless on the street because he can't work and has no income. We are both stressed because of the financial situation.

I see he is now fighting depression and has kept it bottled up because he was so concerned about me and what I'm going through with the divorce and not having worked in 12 years at the age of 53. He stays dizzy and nauseated constantly. If you try to get him to kick his brain into gear, he becomes overly stressed and then it seems as though he's on drugs or something because his speech seems somewhat slurred or different and then he collapses into bed for 10-12 hours of sleep. The rest of his sleep is very out of sync. He woke up today feeling as though he had not slept at all, yet he did not wake up in the middle of the night getting at least 10 hours of sleep.

I found out today that the VA does not have a neuro-recovery or rehabilitation department and that IF he qualifies they send him to some place like Health South.

Also, today I found out that his first MAJOR head injury which happened while he was training in the Navy for extreme search and rescue is not documented and he is not listed as 'service connected', so I now have to wind my way through the government red tape.

The first MAJOR head injury happened when he was jumping out of a helicopter into the water and hit his head on the back of the helicopter which knocked him out immediately before he even hit the water.

Additionally, his regular doctor is concerned about his blood pressure and put him on a diuretic. I'm not happy with that because the side effects are the same as his TBI symptoms. I think it's making it worse, but I can't say for sure.

I'm posting because I'm becoming overwhelmed and fighting depression myself due to my personal issues. I have never felt that our government treats veterans with any ounce of dignity when it comes to their health or personal needs. I do not hold out much hope for us getting any help without a huge ordeal.

I was hoping that someone might have some pointers and places to begin with the VA and getting setup on SSI, if possible, and how to get income rolling in to support him while we work with the health issues.

Again, thank each of you for posting and sharing your stories because I have already learned so much just reading the various threads and links provided.

CeCe

[ewizabeth]

Welcome to NT Cece,

You're a good friend to JJ. I don't have experience with this but others here do and should be along to offer some help or tips.

We also have a social security disability forum:

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum28.html

And one for depression too:

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum37.html

I hope you'll find the information you need and maybe make some new friends along the way. Take care.

[concussionkate]

CeCe,

I'm sorry you are overwhelmed with so much in your life right now. It's great that you are there for your friend JJ. Definitely keep up the support, because support is so important for him. My husband is understanding through all my moods and exhaustion, and it means everything to me.

Please make sure you are able to take care of yourself too. You are a great friend, but will be no good to JJ if you aren't ok yourself. Keep reading posts, I'm sure you will find a lot of information here.

Welcome,

[Hockey]

Welcome to NT, CeCe!

I am so sorry for your troubles. JJ is so lucky to have a great soul like you looking out for him.

It is shocking how casually doctors treat concussion. They tell you that you're fine, even though they know darn well that CT and standard MRI are pretty much useless in diagnosing brain injury. Among the things, JJ really needs is neuropsychological testing. You both also need professional help for the depression.

I'm a Canadian, so I can't help you with navigating your the VA, etc... However, there are folks here with experience in that area and I'm sure they'll chime in with good advice.

I would, however, suggest that you contact the Brain Injury Association of America www.biausa.org

There are local chapters all over the USA that will be able to help you access care, learn about brain injury and find support groups.

You should also consider contacting your local social services. Programs like foodstamps were started to help deserving folks like you. The medical situation is stressful enough without having it exasperated by financial worries.

Please reach out - you can't do this all on your own.

Bless You and thank JJ for his service.

[Cece]

Thanks everyone for your encouraging and caring responses! It truly means a lot.

Well, we just got back from the general doctor. Another Cat Scan showed nothing, of course. The doctor seemed very concerned and we have a letter stating that he has serious post concussion syndrome. Additionally, that work is indeterminant until further testing and evaluation. Also, I will be picking up a Rx tomorrow for Phenergan to see if it will help with his constant nauseated state.

We will see where this doctor's letter will get us. I have contacted the Brain Injury Association, but as of yet they have not answered their phone or returned the call to see if I need to set up an appointment. It seems the BIA has some possible financial aid options. Also, I would like to see if they can guide me to any other assistance.

We will be going to the Regional VA office downtown tomorrow and getting the assistance of one of the veterans' organizations such as the VFW to help him file for Service Connection and Non-Service Connection. As this VA has no neurological rehab services, this will be important in determining what, if any, services he will be able to access once the neurologist performs his neuropsychiatric examination/testing.

I am looking at the NM Human Services Department for a couple of immediate help options and will be looking into SSI or SSDI (? not sure which is more appropriate) once we get more definition and directives from the neurologist.

Hopefully, I will have more to share next week after seeing his neurologist. Take care everyone and thanks for being you and sharing YOU!!

Much Love Always,
CeCe