[eponagirl]

Hello, 5 months have officially passed since my accident. Some things have gotten better: the brain fog is MUCH less, I can actually drive now and focus more and function better out in the world.

Some things have stayed the same: Ringing in my ears, not as aware of time, fatigue, overwhelm when overstimulated, major issues sleeping and more.

Today I finally figured out that I have trouble answering questions. In fact it may even freak me out, especially when there is more than one question. I get agitated and if the questions keep coming, I get distressed.

Something must have healed and moved out of the way for me to finally put this together...but I realize in my job as a massage therapist, I do all of the question asking: Where are you sore, Is this pressure too much/little, when would you like to book your next appointment, etc...

HOWEVER, when I get asked questions, I am noticing the slowness that takes over first. Well, gee...let me think about that....and then off to lala land I go.

This week I noticed it when I was asked by my chiropractor's assistant when I would like to book my next appointment...it was so hard to actually decide my own schedule.

I think she was flustered, than later I realized it was me that was flustered! I told her I had trouble from my head injury and that I was sorry for being so confusing. (it still feels like I'm giving some lame excuse for my behavior, except it is true!)

Tonite, I asked my boyfriend to hand me a pan to cook with (I pointed to the one I wanted) and he asked if I really wanted another one instead...it pushed me too far and I agitatedly said to give me a pan, any pan at this point!

I had a therapy appt where I told the therapist (newer to me) we needed to slow down the way were going about things due to my "brain relapse" and she started asking me a zillion questions about some of the issues on my plate (past issues, not related to my head injury).

After several minutes I noticed how upset I was getting and started crying...normal in therapy when you talk about things you don't normally want to face, except I know the difference in feelings from experiencing therapy in the past.

This time, it was from overwhelm and I felt assaulted, even though she meant well and was really trying to help me. I have temporarily halted our sessions because she cannot hold back from her methods to accomodate me (I had asked her too and she obviously didn't do that)

I am not in any way saying she is a bad therapist, because the things she said ended up being really helpful...now that I've had time to process them in a slower manner. She is just the wrong therapist for me right now if she has a hard time holding back her advice and questions. She would have been a perfect match for me PRE-accident.

The other thing too is that I think she does not believe the effects of my head injury because she doesn't understand PCS. I've got to take MarkInIdaho's advice and pring the TBI guide to hand out. It really may help.

Anyway, I am starting to see that this is an issue and I was wondering if anyone else experiences this and how they handle it? What can I do about it and will it ever get better? (here I go asking many questions to people that may actually have trouble like me!)

Thanks!

[shezbut]

Unfortunately, this is a common effect of TBI. Our brains simply haven't gotten used to taking new paths to process information. It's more slow. Noticeably slower for us. It can be very frustrating ~ particularly when we're kind of high in self-expectations.

The brain does get better and faster as time passes, but it just seems to take forever when we focus on the difficulties. I'd recommend reminding yourself gently to let it go. It is okay. Use a different word. Ask for help in retrieving the word. Give yourself a moment to let the word come to mind. Let it go.

Personally, the first letter or the word I'm looking for quickly pops into my head. I'll tell the person or people the kind of word that I'm thinking of, and give them the clue that it starts with a "C". For example: I am looking to buy a pair of ____. It starts with an "S". You wear them on your feet...They have strings to tie them... Right about then, I can usually recall the word or someone will guess "shoes". A lot of times they guess right, and it's a relief. Other times, they don't guess right, but I can think of another clue to help. A few times, I've just had to give up entirely. I hate doing that. But, being so stuck on finding a particular word ruins the whole conversation, as I then can't recall anything we were talking about!

Been there many times, as you can see. It does get easier as time passes, and you become more accepting of the recall difficulty.

Very best wishes to you!
Shez ~ TBI 3/07

[shezbut]

Oh, one more tip!

Tell others to stick to one thing at a time. I also become very frustrated when people start bringing others stuff into the mix, before I've even processed what they said before. Really frustrating, YES! At the beginning, I wasn't as upfront as I should have been. I thought that they I ought to see I was trying, stop throwing in new words for me to process already.

Truth is, they don't know unless you tell them. I come straight out and tell them to slow down. Some people are really good at picking up on my processing speed, and we get along great! Others aren't so good at finding the right speed. And I just need to be very open: one thing at a time. Let me respond to A before you start asking about B and C. I need more time.

I've been a little too short a couple of times, but it is better than holding that frustration inside. Otherwise, I become more and more snippy as these mistakes keep happening. So, I HIGHLY recommend this technique!

Shez ~ TBI 3/07

[chiron]

I have a SAH 12 years ago and one of the things that were common is anger and communication with others during the recovery process. you also have memory lapses [i still have them,but not as often].it takes time to adjust mentally but you will get there. regards

[Mark in Idaho]

chiron,

Your experience is very common. I find it helpful to explain the symptoms that is being aggravated. In your case as in mine, it appears that you have one or both of two symptoms. Lack of any ability to multitask and/or a loss of immediate and short term auditory memory functions.

I have severe short term and immediate auditory and visual memory deficits. I can only receive and process one item at a time. This also is complicvated by problems with multi-tasking.

I can usually get a good response by just saying I have an auditory processing disorder and need them to speak slower with single issues at a time.

The multi-tasking cvan be a struggle. The chiro office asked a question that required a multi-processing answer. Do you want to schedule a folllow up visit? actually means: Do you want to come back? When dop you want to come back? which means you have to answer; When are you available to come back?
So... A single question becomes three questions.

You will need to learn to break it up yourself.

Your response can be: Yes, I want another appointment. She will likely ask 'When' Now, you can respond with your conflicts " I can't do it on Thurs or Friday" She will respond with other available dates.

If you try this system of breaking the question into individual parts, you can forget the second and third parts because the other party will usually follow up with a question about the second, then third part.

This takes a bit of humilitry to get thios system learned. After a while, it will become a normal response.

Believe me, this works. I am highly intelligent but have horrible difficulties responding to even simple questions that are multipart.

I often stop and take a breath as I try to simplify the question. This relaxation skill helps lower the stress to your brain so you can process the question.

I hope you understand what I mean.

shezbut is exactly right. One thing at a time.

You will also likely have a difficulty with accented speach. If someone has a foreign accent, you brain nhas toi multi-task to first, trtanslate the accented wortds, than process the sentence. I routinely have to ask to speak to someone who speaks English as their mother tongue.

My best to you.

chiron, I finally figured out what SAH is. Sub Arachnoid Hemorrhage.

btw, Focal injuries like SAH and CVA (stroke)usually have a different recovery path due to the focal nature of the injury. Most concussions have a diffuse/global impact on the brain. This leaves many different brain functions struggling at the same time. Strokes with massive swelling can have global impacts on the brain.

[BeccaP]

Questions are harder for me as well. Seems like it takes more to process and then answer. It is getting better over time.

[roadrunner63]

It's not questions that bother me but having to make a decision. I can't tell you how many times someone asks, "this or that"? It's not so much the question but having to choose. To those around me I simply say, "Please don't make me decide." Sometimes it's too overwhelming.

[Mark in Idaho]

Even two choices can be too much for a struggling brain. It can help to try to eliminate one of the choices. The effort to compare two choices requires an ability to multi-task. You need to process both options at the same time.

It can help by asking the other person, "What is my first option?" Then evaluate that option and decide if it is acceptable. If not, then ask what the next choice is.

You may need to break down decisions like this until you have developed other work-arounds or accommodations.

You need the other person to understand your limits. If they do not understand or refuse to accept them, you may need to avoid the situation altogether.

You can also work through these kinds of decisions by having them in writing. Then you can sort of score each option.

Hope this helps.

My best to you all.

[Grady Lady]

When I read your comment, it resonated in me. I too have the same difficulty.

I used to be a leader in creative decision making at my work as a teacher, now it's sooo overwhelming at times.

An example, we went to a restaurant where they had outside seating. My sons were working that section but their were no tables available. The hostess simply asked inside or outside. I wanted outside but I got flustered knowing I didn't want to keep the rest of our party waiting. I excused myself, went into the rest room and started crying because I didn't know what to choose. I felt so vulnerable, over such a simple thing.

It floors me because this would never have been a problem before. A simple yes/no question becomes a big issue now, which frustrates my family members at times. I often say "You decide" in order to not have to think it through.

So darlin' I definitely hear you!!!
Peace

Originally Posted by roadrunner63

It's not questions that bother me but having to make a decision. I can't tell you how many times someone asks, "this or that"? It's not so much the question but having to choose. To those around me I simply say, "Please don't make me decide." Sometimes it's too overwhelming.

[roadrunner63]

I think my boyfriend of 4 years gets frustrated. He often asks what I want for dinner (he cooks!) or gives me multiple options. Of course I frequently reply, "I don't care" or "You choose".

Mostly he picks what he thinks I would choose. Then I wonder how does he know what I would have chosen when I don't even know! I guess he's going on my previous life (before pcs).