Hi, I definitely know Exactly how you feel as I suffered a severe TBI almost 10 years ago. You are early in your recovery and you should look into HBOT(hyperbaric oxygen therapy) to assist in your recovery. Look up Dr. Richard Neubauer- Ocean Hyperbaric Neurologic Center in Lauderdale by the sea, Florida. He is the father of HBOT and its use for neurologic injuries. This treatment helped me the most of everything I did and I did all the conventional treatments and therapies.-I just wish I had known about this treatment option earlier. I too lost eveything including those I thought were friends, but I made some new friends that have really been helpful. Many times I have thought why didn't I just die as it would have been much easier and alot less painful. But I didn't die and I am presently taking each day as it comes(some definitely better than others!). I not only lost my ability to work and be productive(I was an equine veterinarian), but I lost my parents during this time and what my only brother did to me and them makes him lost to me also. The doctors and therapists just kept telling me what I couldn't do and it was all too negative(and I am negative enough!) so I researched and did my own thing. Never supposed to drive I do that now and never to be around horses I have three and a mini mule I take care of and "play" with. I have done some vet consulting for former clients and some new horse folks I met after my accident. Still would like to come up with a way to have an income as I too am barely hanging on financially but I am hanging on! I did try just about everything after my accident to facilitate healing and still it seems there should be someone in the medical community that could offer input into why my plastic brain has not formed new connections to allow my body to function. Both gross and fine motor are severely effected but nothing with memory,emotional or cognitive function. So basically I can't walk(or do so with great difficulty spending alot of time on the ground!) or talk intelligibly(I have dysarthria due to the muscles in my pharaynx not functioning- fyi:100 muscles are responsible for speech!). Hang in there and play it out. Do look up Dr. Neubauer and HBOT.Would enjoy talking to you anytime so ask me anything. Dr. Dianne Peek

Dr peek, Wow, what a story. Sorry for your reason for coming to NT but welcome.

It sounds like you had a very focused injury. Since your memory, cognitive and emotional functions are not damaged but your motor functions are severely damaged, your information processing was spared. Be very thankful. I have many times thought about what I would give up to get my cognitive and memory functions back.

I think I would trade them for a wheel chair. I have a friend who is wheel chair bound from a low lumbar break. She has all of her cognitive, memory and emotional functions. The way she can attack life makes me sort of envious. Nothing stops her. She does not even use an electric chair.

Yes, be very thankful you have your cognitive, memory and emotional functions.

I understand that your motor functions are seriously impaired. I am not making light of that. You have my sympathies.

Regarding plasticity. Many people over-rate neuro-plasticity. It has many limits. The young have a greater ability to rewire their brains that those over 20 to 25 years old. There are over 5000 different classes of neuronal cells. They can attempt to reconnect but do not have much ability to replicate. The stem cell research has shown that the successful stem cell therapies will start with common cells like nerve fibers that transmit nerve signals with those that process signals in the brain a long way off.

Even when nerve cells reconnect, the process is very slow. The axons and dendrites connect using a happenstance system. As an axon grows and comes across a dendrite, it will try to connect to that dendrite. The dendrite will either accept or refuse the connection based on cellular coding. If the connection is refused, the axon will retract and try a different dendrite. One Neuron can have up to 10,000 axons. The complexity of this happenstance binary reconnect system takes a long time.

Those of us with diffuse axonal injuries from concussions, multiple concussions or multiple sub-concussive impacts have millions of these weak connections that get shut down to prevent bad information transmission. This can leave us with weaknesses throughout the brain.

I would wonder if you brain regions have even lost position relative to the other regions they were formerly connected to. This would make reconnections very problematic. Sort of a ' can't get there from here' scenario.

Some brain cells have a sort of linear connection. The sensory processing cells are connected in such a way that if vision cells are not receiving vision input, they relax and get taken over by auditory and tactile inputs and the latter sensory systems gain increased processing power. This is how a blind person can have such highly developed auditory, olfactory and tactile senses. This reassignment can take place within 12 hours of the relaxation event.

Well, enough for now. My brain is getting foggy. When this happens, I tend to find myself rereading the same line over and over again.

My best to you.

I know how you feel wanting everyone to think that you are okay but really being far from it. I've been pretending I'm okay and trying my best to pretend to act as "normal" as possible, but have had to finally come clean and admit that my symptoms are still happening. Most people keep telling me that I must be lying or pretending for the attention. However it feels so much better to finally not be lying about it anymore and asking for help, whether they are willing to help or not. Just breathe and take it a step at a time. I'm "new" to the PCS stuff but that's what's helped me so far. Because your life is not over, and it is worth it. You might not be the same person, but you still are a person with a life, that's not something to waste. I'm also new to this site but I have a feeling this is exactly the place people like you and me need. The people who have been trying to hide the symptoms they have and the way the feel, because if anyone will understand and not think we are crazy are the people who are going through the same things.