Hello all....
I am new to this forum and am SO relieved to find others that I can relate too. This is a very lonely diagnosis I am finding. If you haven't experienced it, it is almost impossible to relate too.
I sustained a concussion at work 7-21-10. I never lost consiousness, but within an hour of my injury I lost my ability to speak and process...I became apathetic with bouts of crying jags. CT Scan and MRI (-). GRATEFUL that an astute ER MD dx'd me with PCS. Sadly, being Worker's Comp. I have yet to get any treatment to date.
I was released to go back to work in Oct. 10 and it's been a downhill spiral. I suppose in ways, my innate stubborness has faired sorta well for me. I kept post it notes to help me, kept the lights off in my office and tried my best to interact with MD's and staff. I am in a management level position as an RN. Everyday was faced with anxiety and I have felt "out of place" amongst the MD's and staff. I purposefully avoided any detailed discussion as (to this day) I wasn't able to sustain. I lose my thoughts almost immediately and have a hard time focusing.
In March, things took a turn. I began to experience DRASTIC mood swings. Night and day. Anger, hostility, insomnia. I thought I was losing my mind. I ended up in the office of my primary MD (as I am STILL waiting on WC to auth. neuro). She ran labs for Lyme and I had 2 acute (+) and 1 chronic (+). I was treated with antibiotics for a month without success. I was referred to a specialist who stated to me "These are not Lyme symptoms, you remind me of a Soldier who has returned from War. You have PCS, PTSD and Depression. You need Neuropsych." Tears and more tears....
Tried Celexa, bad bad bad for me...made me more depressed and withdrawn.
I'm awaiting auth. from WC for Neuropsych.
I am really blessed to have the support from my family. It breaks my heart to see the stress this has placed upon my family. I have been out of work again since July, for what I thought was Lyme...but now know better.
The thought of not being able to return to Nursing makes me sad...I know that it is a real possibility and I think I'm beginning to accept it. But I won't accept that I will no longer have control over these moods. I want my old self back...for my kids.
This seems to go in cycles...the headaches go away for a few days, then come back with a vengeance. Tremors, insomnia, fatigue, blurry vision, can't concentrate, can't process, and very impatient.
I feel like there is nothing I can do to help myself...but deep down, I haven't given up...nor do I intend too...hope is all I have right now.