Hello all....
I am new to this forum and am SO relieved to find others that I can relate too. This is a very lonely diagnosis I am finding. If you haven't experienced it, it is almost impossible to relate too.
I sustained a concussion at work 7-21-10. I never lost consiousness, but within an hour of my injury I lost my ability to speak and process...I became apathetic with bouts of crying jags. CT Scan and MRI (-). GRATEFUL that an astute ER MD dx'd me with PCS. Sadly, being Worker's Comp. I have yet to get any treatment to date.
I was released to go back to work in Oct. 10 and it's been a downhill spiral. I suppose in ways, my innate stubborness has faired sorta well for me. I kept post it notes to help me, kept the lights off in my office and tried my best to interact with MD's and staff. I am in a management level position as an RN. Everyday was faced with anxiety and I have felt "out of place" amongst the MD's and staff. I purposefully avoided any detailed discussion as (to this day) I wasn't able to sustain. I lose my thoughts almost immediately and have a hard time focusing.
In March, things took a turn. I began to experience DRASTIC mood swings. Night and day. Anger, hostility, insomnia. I thought I was losing my mind. I ended up in the office of my primary MD (as I am STILL waiting on WC to auth. neuro). She ran labs for Lyme and I had 2 acute (+) and 1 chronic (+). I was treated with antibiotics for a month without success. I was referred to a specialist who stated to me "These are not Lyme symptoms, you remind me of a Soldier who has returned from War. You have PCS, PTSD and Depression. You need Neuropsych." Tears and more tears....
Tried Celexa, bad bad bad for me...made me more depressed and withdrawn.
I'm awaiting auth. from WC for Neuropsych.
I am really blessed to have the support from my family. It breaks my heart to see the stress this has placed upon my family. I have been out of work again since July, for what I thought was Lyme...but now know better.
The thought of not being able to return to Nursing makes me sad...I know that it is a real possibility and I think I'm beginning to accept it. But I won't accept that I will no longer have control over these moods. I want my old self back...for my kids.
This seems to go in cycles...the headaches go away for a few days, then come back with a vengeance. Tremors, insomnia, fatigue, blurry vision, can't concentrate, can't process, and very impatient.
I feel like there is nothing I can do to help myself...but deep down, I haven't given up...nor do I intend too...hope is all I have right now.

Welcome to our world. October 2005 was my evening of a complete change of who I am..or was. I can tell you that with time and calmness in your life, you begin to adjust and you know what you can handle and what you can't. I continued to work until 2009 when my boss, so frustrated with me (I have ALL the symptoms you described above) that he was yelling to the top of his lungs at me, I'm crying and finally he slams his fist into a wall. I resigned and have been working on coping with the 'new' me...I'll never be the smart, witty, outgoing, love of music and dance that I was before....coming to terms with loving quiet, calm, peaceful person I need to be now. I went as far as to move out of the city that I once loved but could no longer handle to the quiet of the north Georgia mountains, where the most noise I hear is the river which I find very calming. It is an adventure and path unknown to me but I'm a work in progress and you are too. You will find your path and yes things will never be as they were...a new path and a changed you.

You might want to check into a physician that specializes in Vestibular damage. I went to therapy for 5 years which has helped me cope with the vertigo like issues. I don't have insurance so I had to stop going but I learned a lot and I don't feel as though I'm loosing it when I have an episode.

Also, when you go for a Neuropsych BE SURE you go to someone who is familiar with brain issues due to concussion. My first exam by a neuropsych doctor made me feel as though I 'must be making this stuff up'. My second exam by a different neurophsych had an understanding of post concussion and has truly helped me A LOT. He has given me ideas on how to handle money (which is a problem now - not before) he is my lifesaver. Lots of luck on your adventure...and as always, this is the BEST place to be. This group has helped me understand and allows me to vent and also helps me laugh. It is a great place!

Im so sorry that you have to go through workmans comp with such a severe issue as PCS. I cant imagine the frustration with their process when you need specialists now. I am also a nurse. I am 4 months post PCS. Unconscious for 12 hours. I just went back to work in the ICU 3 weeks ago. Before i went back i felt pretty good, now i am having my setback (which i expected) and it is so difficult to deal with. My days off are spent recovering and feeling off and the nights i work are pretty tough as well.

I understand how you feel with the social anxiety aspect and not feeling like yourself. Ive had issues where i was speaking with a doctor and suddenly become aphasic or stutter, and im suddenly very uncomfortable and awkward and nervous. Im sure they dont even notice and probably think im just tired. But i take it to heart and feel like im an idiot. Its hard to explain this to other people or so that they understand that you are not well yet. My neurologist was so insightful and said to me the hardest thing i will encounter is that I look good....but no one will understand that my brain is not well. She was right.

Im wishing you the best of luck in your situation and hoping you find a balance that you feel comfortable with and doctors who can help with your recovery. And you are not alone....we are all here for you!

Praying for your healing. So sorry to hear about your struggle.

Mine wasn't as serious as yours, but it happened on 7-15-10, so we've been at it almost the same amount of time.

definately can relate, my hubby suffered Jul/Aug 2010, and we're 1yr later, having had no idea, that previous injuries, plus the latest 3, and now 2 more, can cause such acute issues, with all the same symptoms you're describing. its a long and painful road, and i feel like we're on a treadmill, and there's just no end. i'm told to think of it like a marathon instead, still long distance running, but there at least is an end! Someday! The hardest part, was associating all the years of previous injury, and accidents, with no diagnosis, and no proper medical records, to now, and reconciling the damages done are cumulative. Waiting for specialists, in-patient testing, so many different Dr's so many tests, and like you've all said, they think as soon as you have a negative EEG you're full of SH&^! If only medicine could come up with some better imaging techniques, and some better recognition of the dramatic changes the injuries can cause. With the focus on Sports injuries, and the huge & sad influx of Post War trauma's maybe someday, the average guy with mTBI will get the diagnosis, and attention he requires. Good luck everyone,

Oh my God, I can so relate to your post.

I'm about 13 months into my recovery too. I was in a bad auto accident on July 28, 2010.

I just returned to work about three weeks ago, I was supposed to work four hours every other day for two weeks and then six hours every other day for two weeks and then bump it up to 8.

I'm in the second week of six hours every other day and my cognitive impairment is getting worse. I'm not able to even take a shower without a significant decline in cognitive functioning, decrease in ability to communicate and increase in confusion and overall tiredness. I had to call my doctor to let her know today what's been going on and her partner wants me to come in tomorrow.

I just want to go back to work. My work is my whole life and I've felt so empty and useless without it. I'm a technician and engineer for performing arts. My specialty for the last few years has been audio, but it has been stage management and lighting design in the past. I work for a college Film & TV Dept and used to do live events in theatres - for 14 years before the accident. I miss it so much.

I've been very upset since I started working because it is apparent to me how different I am now and I feel like I can't do anything compared to what I used to be able to do.

Since I work for a State University I thought I had good insurance, but medical group bureaucrats kept denying the neuropsychological testing for me too - even though every doctor and therapist has wanted me to have it done and see the results. I appealed it with my HMO and they denied it saying that it's "not medically necessary". I'm about to ask for an independent medical review with the state insurance board to override the decision.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

Thank you so much for your support. I haven't accepted this "new" me as of yet and I'm fighting desperately to regain some of who I "was". I'm STUBBORN lol!! Because of WC, I don't have a choice as to which Neuropsych I will see. I am fortunate that the referral came from a Neurosurgeon who I have a very good professional relationship with, someone who really "knows" me and is saddenned and concerned with this process.
I also have had my share of unfortunate incidents in the workplace which I am not at liberty to discuss because I chose to pursue them in a legal fashion. PCS is a disability. We are not at other's disposal to be utilized as a source of anger release, belittling etc. I busted my butt to obtain my degree in Nursing and that smart cookie is still dwelling within! It is absolutely true (and a sad misconception) that when you LOOK great you must BE great..I HATE hearing anyone tell me I LOOK great...they aren't obviously looking close enough. I live in Connecticut, so we are bracing for Hurricane Irene now... Really looking forward to consulting with Neurospych!

I truly appreciate your post my fellow Nurse!! I just don't understand how I can have a good run of a few months and then just go so drastically DOWN hill?? This is CRAZY! I'm very frustrated and quite frankly SICK of trying to convince anyone that my brain is sick. I know it is, and I have come to the conclusion that I will heal in time. How long remains to be seen though!