[greenfrog]

When I was in the acute phase of PCS I temporarily stayed with my family - a bad idea, as it turned out. Both of them have narcissistic tendencies and they were only willing to go so far in helping me (my mother accused me of being "manipulative" when I said that I needed more help). I emailed them a lot of helpful material on concussions, but they didn't bother to read it. My mother would typically turn the conversation around to her own medical issues, like a sore knee or back. Their advice consisted of saying things like, why don't you go outside and get some fresh air, or "my personal trainer says that maybe you need to push through the symptoms."

They did help me find my current specialist, however - I am grateful for this.

While trying to fend for myself, I had a major setback resulting in a new symptom (tinnitus), which I still have. When the stress finally became overwhelming, I packed a bag and left on my own, with great difficulty.

I have gradually improved a lot since then, in no small part because of the unwavering support of my girlfriend and doctor. Ironically, the symptom that has persisted the most is the tinnitus (it's manageable but mildly annoying). I have been keeping my family at arms length since I left (easy enough, since they maintain only half-hearted contact, often to relay news about their lives). I have been off work for seven months.

So, my question is: how do you move on from a traumatizing family experience like this? Part of me wants to forgive them and move on, but I feel that they behaved badly and never acknowledged this. I also don't want to engage them on the subject until I am further along in my recovery, as even talking about it (and maintaining contact with them generally right now) is stressful for me. Would it be appropriate to say something like, "I think it's best if we hold off on the communications while I recover - I am not doing much emailing and telephoning - but perhaps we can meet for coffee when I am doing better?"