[xxxxcrystalxxxx]

On July 12th I opened up a cabinet door that was floor to ceiling and weighed about fifty pounds. As soon as it opened the sharp edge came down on the right side of the front of my head near the temple.

I was at work at the time. My supervisor called in one of the MD's we work with. He made a joke with me and then they had me lie down for twenty minutes with ice. I was "out of it" spacing, foggy, headache.... After my twenty minutes I went back to work. I had a huge bump. My coworkers kept saying my eyes didn't look right. My left eye was at half mast and my pupils weren't even. I sat down to do pharmacy and I just couldn't concentrate. My head hurt so bad. Finally before lunch I got called over to do an ekg on a patient. I was sick to my stomach and again my head.

I dont remember much about working up the patient. I couldn't put her demographic info into the system. I went to my MD and said the patient was ready.

I figured I'd go outside and see if some fresh air would help.....The sun light cut right through my head. I couldn't open my eyes. I then told my supervisor something isn't right and I wanted to go to the doctors. She asked me if I was coming back after the appointment.

I drove myself to the walk in center. I dont remember much about the ride. I walked in and they took me into the "trauma" room. I was dizzy and unable to stand very well. They ordered the cat scan and had my husband come get me. No driving for me.

The CAT scan was normal. I thought ok, no big deal. I'll go home and rest. Take the Motrin for my headaches.

Well I was so wrong. I'm now three months into this nightmare. It took a month to get into a Nuero MD. They ordered PT for my back and
neck.

I was sent back to work my the Occupational MD. I was working half days. It was so traumatic. I was exhausted and my symptoms kept getting worse. Finally I had my appt at the Head Injury clinic. My head hurt so bad. He said no way to working and pulled me for six weeks. They then ordered the Nueropsych testing for six weeks later.

My days are based on how my head feels. I dont sleep well. My head makes whooshing sounds all the time. I've down sunk into a depression and anxiety has reared it's ugly head. I get frustrated because everyone keeps asking when I'll be back at work. When am I going to get better? I have to cancel plans alot and they dont understand why. My friends and family really have no idea what I'm going through. I could tell them to read this and that but it's not going to happen.

My husband had been my only supporter in all of this. I feel like I'm a burden. He's not working and now I'm not working. He's been great throught all this but I worry.

I think about my job and I know physically I cant do it at this time. If I dont improve much then I'll never be able to go back. This concerns me. The doctors dont have much to say.

I went to one Neuro who said it looks like your getting better. Maybe we can get you back to work soon. I'm thinking to myself, "I'm here because I was just in the ER for day nine of migrane.". He said to take Maxamalt and Fioricet for my headaches. They dont work.

He scheduled my follow up for six months.

The Head Injury Clinic told me there isn't anything they can do regarding the headaches. Ahhh....hello!!!! When I mentioned my symptoms and whooshing sounds the Nueropsych MD looked at me like I was crazy.

I'm not crazy!!!!! They think my depression and anxiety is getting in the way of me getting better.

Before my accident I was a happy. I loved helping people and my work with patients. Now I dont even know this person I've become. I worry this will not get better. I dont get any explanations from the doctors as to what to expect or long term expectations.

I feel like I'm in Limbo and dont quite know what to do from here. I started the Lorazapam but I dont notice any difference. The migrane Maxamalt does nothing. The Fioricet doesn't help my headache but it does allow me to cat nap. I figured with my sleep all messed up it's the least I can do.

I did research in my area to see what type of support groups I could possibly attend.....yep you got it....NONE........

Thanks for letting me vent. My head isn't hurting the morning just whooshing so I thought before it reared it's ugly head I would get it all out.

Thank you for all the support.. It really does help!!!

p.s. I've noticed I have anger..... normal????? The matienance workers where I work knew the door that came off the hinges had the wrong hinges on it. He mentioned it when they told him what happened. He said, " I know they installed the wrong hinges". This upsets me. An avoidable accident and I have to pay...What the Y&*%$....... so yeah I am pist...

[SmilinEyesMs305]

First, get yourself a lawyer asap! It sounds like if the hinges were wrong/faulty someone else should be paying your medical bills!

Second, all you are experiencing physically is normal. Including the anger. Talk to whoever prescribed the lorazapem and see if you need an increase in dosage or perhaps an SSRI with it, as you mentioned depression and anxiety.

As for your doctors, feeling that anxiety and depression are clouding your recovery... I would be really ******. Have you thought about trying a new set of doctors? I had to do that about 3 months in. I found a doctor who works primarily with TBI patients all day, and it has made a WORLD of difference.

I'm so sorry you are going through all this!!! All the stress you are under will not help you recover. Praying for you. Its a rough road. Keep fighting for your brain, whether that means getting a lawyer or finding doctors who care, etc.

[ShellyK]

Crystal,

I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that, but I am glad that you found this website. Unfortunately, there are many people here who have gone through things that are similar. Therefore, you should be able to find some things that can help you.

First of all, your case is workers' compensation, so I assume that your employer has filed the paperwork for that.... I think that you might want to get a workers' compensation lawyer just to help you get through all of this. See if you can get a referral to someone.

I know that you work in a hospital, but I am not sure what kind of work you do. If you belong to a union, they may have names of workers' compensation lawyers that they recommend. I don't know what the workers' compensation laws are in your state. Here in California they seem to be there to protect the employers.... But that's another issue....

I can't believe that the Head Injury Clinic said that there isn't anything that they can do for the headaches! That's ridiculous! I know that there are three different types of medicines that they can try you on to see if they can prevent the headaches. I am not a doctor.

It's just that I have been through all of this. One class of medicines is low dose anti-depressants. For many people they help mask the headaches.

The second class of medicines is anti-seizure drugs (in a very low dose), and the third are actually heart medicines like beta blockers or calcium channel blockers. Many people get relief from the headaches from one of those drugs.

Unfortunately, I have a very difficult time with medicines. My neurologist tried me on 6 different medications, and I could not take any of them, because of the side effects. But they certainly are worth a try.

The next thing to try is Vitamin B-2 (riboflavin). There have been studies done with 400 mg. of Vitamin B-2, and it has shown to help migraines. (I do use the B-2, but not in such a large dose, and I also take a B-complex, because you shouldn't take just one B vitamin by itself, or it unbalances the other B's - or so I've read.) Another thing that has been found to help headaches is magnesium, so I take a calcium and magnesium pill.

Still something else that I have tried is Petadolex. It has been used in Germany for many years to help prevent migraines. It is made from a plant called butterbur, but the plant has something toxic in it if you don't run it through a special process, which the manufacturers of Petadolex do. I tried Petadolex as well, but it too had side effects that caused me to stop taking it.

Things that I have found helpful for myself are physical therapy, acupuncture, and meditation. For physical therapy I have a therapist who does cranial sacral work. (You can google it.)

Recently, I started acupuncture with a very skilled acupuncturist. There are days when I've come in with the beginning of a migraine and felt wonderful when I left his office. I also take Chinese herbs that he prepares for me. I still get headaches, but instead of getting a week-long migraine, the last time I had a migraine it lasted one day. That's improvement for me.

I am still not well. I am fatigued most of the time. I can't handle stress. I can't read for long periods of time, and I love to read. There's lots more. But, basically, my message is that there are things to try. We are all different, and what works for me, might or might not work for you. But there are many things that can help. And you have to be ready to take baby steps forward....

I have recently started doing mindfulness meditation. There is a book that was recommended to me (I don't even remember by whom): The Mindful Way Through Depression. It is written by 3 psychotherapists plus Jon Kabat-Zinn who is well-known for midfulness meditation, and I think that it is helping me learn to cope with my life as it is now. It's worth a look. It comes wiith a CD and suggests an 8-week program.

I have also taken a class in behavior modification. All the things that I mentioned I found helpful. I hope that you will find something that works for you.

It can be a long process to heal from this. Everyone is different. I never expected to be the way I am today all from a bump on the head, but being proactive and trying to find treatment for yourself will help I hope.

There truly are good healers out there. You just have to find them.
And please don't go back to work unless you are feeling better. Too many people here tried and just got sicker.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Let us know how you are doing.

ShellyK

[musiclover]

Thanks for sharing. I really relate to what you say about being an upbeat person before pcs and struggling since....it is one of the hardest parts for me next to dealing with the onslaught of symptoms. The anxiety and depression is so much to handle on top of the physical issues!!

[Kenjhee]

Originally Posted by xxxxcrystalxxxx

On July 12th I opened up a cabinet door that was floor to ceiling and weighed about fifty pounds. As soon as it opened the sharp edge came down on the right side of the front of my head near the temple...

(snip)

p.s. I've noticed I have anger..... normal????? The matienance workers where I work knew the door that came off the hinges had the wrong hinges on it. He mentioned it when they told him what happened. He said, " I know they installed the wrong hinges". This upsets me. An avoidable accident and I have to pay...What the Y&*%$....... so yeah I am pist...

Hi Crytal! Sorry about this.

I see a possible big red flag here. Frontal lobe injury, and the "A" word- anger. Google TBI or PCS and the word "anger". Thousands of hits will come up showing the big correlation between this type of brain injury and anger. (There may be a lot on this forum also, but I'm brand new here and haven't seen everything yet).

I just want to be brief here, so here's the scoop. Primitive emotions like anger (and fear, aggression, sex drive) are largely "stored" in the more primitive areas of the brain near the center of the head, which is more cushioned in an impact injury. The higher "executive functions" are housed in the frontal areas of the cortex, meaning the abilities to control the more primitive drives.

So what happens in a frontal injury is compromise of impulse control, allowing those raw primitive emotions to run unchecked. Perhaps the most common is uncontrolled anger. Not just about what happened to you in the accident, but about everything and nothing.

Also do a search on the name Phineas Gage, a railroad worker who suffered a severe brain injury and whose personality changed over night.

My TBI was also to the right frontal lobe, and boy do I have a story to tell of my own.

Kenjhee

[nightnurse30]

Originally Posted by Kenjhee

Hi Crytal! Sorry about this.

I see a possible big red flag here. Frontal lobe injury, and the "A" word- anger. Google TBI or PCS and the word "anger". Thousands of hits will come up showing the big correlation between this type of brain injury and anger. (There may be a lot on this forum also, but I'm brand new here and haven't seen everything yet).

I just want to be brief here, so here's the scoop. Primitive emotions like anger (and fear, aggression, sex drive) are largely "stored" in the more primitive areas of the brain near the center of the head, which is more cushioned in an impact injury. The higher "executive functions" are housed in the frontal areas of the cortex, meaning the abilities to control the more primitive drives.

So what happens in a frontal injury is compromise of impulse control, allowing those raw primitive emotions to run unchecked. Perhaps the most common is uncontrolled anger. Not just about what happened to you in the accident, but about everything and nothing.

Also do a search on the name Phineas Gage, a railroad worker who suffered a severe brain injury and whose personality changed over night.

My TBI was also to the right frontal lobe, and boy do I have a story to tell of my own.

Kenjhee

You are absolutely right Kenjhee. I am a neurosurgery ICU nurse and instead of saying the patient is acting out, or angry, we usually describe them as frontal. Frontal injuries are the worst. Can cause major personality changes, emotional changes, impulse control issues, etc. Not only am i a neurosurg ICU nurse, but im also a patient....frontal injury as well as occipital. Never thought i would be a "frontal patient: but sure enough, i am. Its hard when you have never been an angry, depressed, or impulsive person, and now you are doing things so out of character. Totally understand!

[Kenjhee]

OMG, thank you Nightnurse, for sharing your experience and knowledge. I am feeling so much more validated in everything that's happened to me over the past 35 years since my triggering event (passenger in a bad car accident). I am blown away that the term "frontal" is a jargon term for the anger, etc., but not at all surprised.

Besides the medical problems- which are gruelling enough- I have had these absolute rage sessions which come out of nowhere. I had no idea that it might be linked to the accident. People told me it was just me. But "me" before the accident was calm, cool, controlled and analytical.

It took a major incident in my life to bring me to this understanding (unfortunately, it is a legal issue...don't worry, no-one was physically hurt). Basically, no-one really believes me that my actions are more physiological than psychological. If they could feel just once how out-of-control you feel during just one of these sessions I'm sure they'd have a different perspective.

[Mark in Idaho]

There is also reason to point to adrenal gland disruption. The medical term is adrenal cortical hyperfunction. As for the center of the brain being more cushioned, that is not necessarily always the case.

There are parts of the brain that control or direct the flow of information to the other areas of the brain that are in the center. They get damaged and the necessary gating of information can get disrupted. This is what leads to sensory overload or flooding and some poor decision making. The flooding can cause a fight or flight reaction with the accompanying rage.

These fight or flight mechanisms can be considered primitive or as some of us believe, divinely created as protective mechanisms. I believe the latter. I struggle to combine the vast complexity of the brain with any vestigial concepts.

As my neurologist, a research scientist, stated, my brain has areas that struggle to communicate with each other in a properly functioning way. This does not leave me to behave like a primitive animal. Understanding this problem, I can choose to alter these behaviors rather than submit to animal tendencies. He was quite surprised at my success considering the damage he observed in my brain's functions.

Regarding vitamin supplements, many of us have had great success with B2, B6, B12, D3, and a good B-50 or B-100 complex plus all of the anti-oxidants. 4 to 10 times the RDA is required for many of us to benefit.

Also, avoiding caffeine, MSG, and free process glutamate (found in processed or fermented soy products and MSG) and most alcohol helps the brain stabilize. A single serving of caffeine or alcohol, per day is tolerated by some.

[xxxxcrystalxxxx]

Thank you all for your knowledge... I didn't research frontal injuries...I guess It never came to mind... I do have an attorney for my workmans comp and also a pending law suit against the people who installed the wrong hinges. I did take pictures of the old and new hinges as well. Something told me to do so. I gave them to the attorney as well.

In all honesty I wish I could turn the clocks back and this never happened!! People I know will say things like "your gonna make out big time" or " you hit the lottery on this one". I want to smack them in the kisser. They just dont understand I guess.

I've researched doctors in CT and have yet to find one who specializes in head injuries. I'm sort of stuck. I was also told by my attorney if I want to change MD's I need a written referral from the current docs I'm seeing. This pist me off...then again frontal injury and all...lol ( joke)

I have my appt on Tuesday. They will be going over the psych results and recommendations. I'm nervous but anxious all at once....

I hope everyone is having a good day. Here in CT we had a dusting of snow last night and a storm is coming this weekend. We still have leaves in the trees......

[Mark in Idaho]

crystal,

When they say you are going to make big bucks, you could respond with, I would pay them big money to get my life back. No amount of money is worth these problems.

What part of CT are you in? I have some contacts there. I could check about mTBI doctors. I lived in Naugatuck when I was in high school (1969-1973). My neuro in Waterbury was good but he would be dead by now. But, I do know others there.