Well it's been one of those weekends. Well actually week into the weekend. We all try to minimize our stress levels but life has other plans sometimes doesn't it?

Well financially we are taking major blows left and right. No matter how hard we try to stay afloat we just keep getting knocked back down. I know I'm fortunate to have my health, etc. etc. etc. but sometime holy crow..

Well I'm a cat lover. I have three. Last week my oldest special needs kitty who is the family favorite had blood coming from his ear. We rushed him to the vet. The vet after spending three hundred told us he is going to need over two thousand dollars to "fix" him. We just dont have it. Needless to say I cried for two days straight. We decided since he isn't in pain we will hold off and see what happens.

After crying for two days I went into hypermode. I kept busy. I took out my painting supplies and started painting in the cellar. Head pain, whooshing sounds, damn it all. Put on my head set and ignored the world. Well I did this for three days. Yesterday I fell HARD...

I finally got an appt for the anxiety clinic. The attorney's "worked" it out. I dont know why I continue to do this stuff to myself... Today's a new day....

I know, it's so hard to rest when you're used to being busy and productive and "useful." I'm struggling with the same thing.

You want to do stuff, but when you do it comes back to bite you. It's a vicious cycle. And the other outer stresses don't help either.

Hope the new clinic is able to help...

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm not sure what is my problem... I've decreased the Amitriptalyne. This was a week ago from last friday. My thoughts today are not good. I feel like running away or checking myself out. I hate this. My husband is asking what is wrong with me and I got nothing. I just woke up thinking I dont care anymore.

Maybe its the medication, maybe it's my head. I dont know. I tried to work through it, ignore it, focus on it but I just dont know anymore.

I wont do anything stupid but I wish there was a magic pill to make me feel better. My head is hurting, whooshing and I'm just so sick and tired of dealing with this. I know we all are struggling...it just plain sucks.

The holidays are coming and I haven't even put up my tree....again I could care less.

I was hoping by venting I can get through this messed up day. I wish I had a doctor I could talk to but...you know how that goes.... So I'll hang in and hope I do ok....

Thanks for listening everyone......

I am new to this, but am learning, day by day