[JulieRN]

Hi All...

It's been awhile since my last posting, I've been busy advocating for myself!!

I am feeling like I have been backed into a corner, and I think my depression is trying to get the best of me...my headaches are once again becoming more frequent and the intensity is more on the painful end...I am more fatigued, more anxious and more irritable...

I had a fair run for a few weeks...it seems to me, just when I feel like I am healing, I get taken down a few pegs...this time, it was a few too many...

I still haven't completed the Neuropsych testing...although I spoke with my Atty. yesterday and was assured I would hear from the MD today (I'm not holding my breath)...it seems as though WC states they will cooperate only when threatened with a hearing...I'm ashamed that the Commissioner assigned to my case allows this to happen repeatedly...it's going on 2 months and several hearings now...since the Commissioner has ORDERED WC to put auth. in writing...they just don't give a hoot, I get it....

What they don't realize is that I have a life...I have a family, children and a spouse who love me and want me to heal...that I have a strong desire to return to the workforce...and not one stinking person is doing what they are supposed to do to help me. It's disgusting.

My Short Term Disability ran out and I had to apply for Long Term Disability. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal...just kinda flip over, same insurance company blah blah blah. Wrong. They have been dragging their feet and my claim has been "pending" for a month. WC won't offer financial compensation benefits to me until they receive the results from the Neuropsych testing...which is why I am sure they are dragging their feet with giving auth...the longer they can drag it out, then they don't have too pay...(but we are going for retro pay, so that theory is blown out the window lol)...

I'm trying to hold it together...I've gotten no treatment, am on no meds...nothing. My anxiety is insane, to the point where I become so hot my back sweats and my head screams...it does pass, but by the time it does, it leaves me completely exhausted....

If everyone involved in my case did their respective jobs, I wouldn't be feeling stuck...I'm hoping for a miracle right now...

Little things are starting to irritate me again...and there is nothing I can do about it except, walk away....isolation breeds depression...it's such a vicious cycle....

I appreciate being able to vent in this forum...I know I'm not alone, I just wish I had some help dealing with these symptoms....it's just getting to be overwhelming....again.

[EsthersDoll]

Hi JulieRN,

I've been thinking about you and your situation. Im praying for you and I know it will all work out. I hope you can begin to trust that is the case so your anxiety will be reduced.

I realize you work in Western Medicine and are frustrated you're not taking any medications, but have you considered taking supplements to help you?

I wasn't able to work or drive for over a year and I'm in a bad financial place as a result of it too - so I understand how scary it can be.

But I'm sure you know that experts say anxiety can increase the symptoms and it might help you to try something rather than wait for a bureaucracy to give you the assistance that we all know you deserve. We all know that the red tape can be exceedingly frustrating!! I became very angry because I wasn't able to even read or do any kind of paperwork and because of the brain injury the amount of important paperwork I needed to fill out increased and I had no one to help me with it after the first couple of months. I think it is a catch 22 - it makes me feel like the system is broken. Why do they insist that ill people do more work when it's harder for them to do so? But I digress...

Some supplements that might help you to reduce the anxiety are:

-St John's Wort
-Passionflower
-Kava Kava
-Gaba
-HTP-5
-Valerian

I am not sure at what level your functioning is, but during my recovery I have not been able to do a lot of things I used to do due to the injury, so these next few things are catch as catch can:

-Tai Chi
-Yoga (relaxing forms of it like Iyangar)
-Meditation
-Taking a hot bath in silence with a relaxing aromatherapy candle
-Coloring or another form of art therapy, anything that will get your mind in a zen state and away from focusing on what's going on with you that you're worried about
-Taking walks or exercising
-Enjoying a quiet park or nature around your house or yard


Try to be grateful for what you *can* do and try not to focus on what your impairments are.

We all know you're not lazy or trying not to work!

Please take care!

[Mark in Idaho]

I disagree with the natural supplements comment. Normal vitamins and supplements with USP dosages would be better. The naturals can mess up your WC claim. St John's Wort is a powerful drug. SSRI's and SNRI's are designed to mimic it. WC insurance companies will find any excuse to deny you.

The frustration of 'people not doing their jobs' is huge. I understand that frustration completely. Do you have any hair left? LOL

Try to relax and wait it out.

If you can, accept that it will take a long time. The WC system can be slow and convoluted. At least you still have a working claim that has recognized at least some level of injury.

Your job should be to take care of yourself and your family. Let the attorneys duke it out. They cannot settle your case without your consent and signature.

My best to you.

[JulieRN]

Thank you both for your responses

I am SUCH a chicken when it comes to putting anything at all into my body, especially after having sustained this injury, I am terrified of the effect as I fear it won't be the intended effect and will wind me up into more trouble than I'm already in, if that even makes sense..

I'm back in the "bad place" again...my head is very, very painful...I'm feeling rage over really minor issues and I'm waking up several times during the night feeling really "hot"...I can't relax, though I do really try...I'm losing interest once again in the things that I felt were helping me (i.e. going to the gym).

I agree that the system is convoluted on so many levels lol...my main concern has been from the beginning..my health. My ability to heal from this injury. If I am stuck with the injury, than I really need some relief from these symptoms!

They come on out of nowhere and are totally all consuming...it's the headache, the back of my skull and neck, my temples...the "zinging" sensation across the top of my head, tinnitus, anxiety, anger...the enraged feeling scares me the very most....I was terrified to think that it would return...

I appreciate very much that you keep me in your thoughts...I'm just going to continue to pray for some relief...and soon...