Greetings,

I am new to NeuroTalk and am hoping for some advice and someone who understands what's happening to me. Here's my story:

I am a female in my early 30's who works in the field of law enforcement. Since the age of 9 I have had approximately 10 concussions, ranging from mild to severe. My first concussion "with complications" occurred about 4 years ago as a result of a car accident. I was sent via ambulance to the hospital about 3 weeks after the incident for a CT scan... apparently nothing unusual was found as I never heard back. For this and all past concussions the remedy was take tylenol for the headaches and suck it up princess, get back to work. Since that I have had 3 more. Doesn't take much.

In September of this past year I was playing hockey and fell backwards, striking the back of my head on the lip of the boards. I went down like a tonne of bricks and couldn't get up. It hadn't seemed like a big fall, but I couldn't get up and I couldn't make my body move... despite being able to feel everything... my limbs just wouldn't respond. After the initial trip to the hospital and Xrays I was told I wasn't concussed and to take tylenol and come back if I got worse. 4 days later I was in extreme pain and sick to my stomach and dizzy and just generally out of it. A CT scan was ordered but apparently was normal. I have been unable to function since. To make matters more interesting, I was in a minor car accident in January, my symptoms not only got worse, but more of them. They are as follows:

-Headache: since September I have had a headache almost constantly. I cannot remember a day without that pain except with use of Tylenol 3

- Head pain: I feel a constant pressure inside my head, like my brain is trying to push out and I have a vice squeezing my skull and it's sensitive to touch, like it's bruised it's uncomfortable to lay down

- Jaw pain: my jaw doesn't open right and it hurts - all the time, I find it hard to sleep

- Insomnia: I have trouble sleeping, and even with prescribed sleep aids I have trouble staying asleep

- Sensitivity to light and sound: too much noise or background "hustle" like in a public place or some music or too many people talking makes me want to crawl out of my skin and makes my head hurt. Bright and flashing lights makes my head and eyes hurt horribly and a bit sick to my stomach

- The Shakes: this is a relatively new issue. When I am placed in a new or stressfull situation I start to shake and feel again, like I want to crawl out of my skin and run screaming or curl up into the fetal position.

- Stuttering: also new, happens in that same situations as the shakes, I can't find words and can't speak them and become extremely frustrated. Sometimes Even outside of those situations I am finding myself without words to express.

- Temperature issues: I can't seem to regulate my internal temperature, I'm always too hot or too cold. I wear layers and take them on and off throughout the day

- Double vision/focus: I have more trouble focussing and have to work much harder to maintain focus, my eyes hurt constantly. I am taking breaks writing this...

- Fatigue: I am always tired and worn out... I was running and playing hockey before this... now I can't walk 500 meters at a slow pace without my head getting heavy and hurting.

- Dizziness: I fall over to the right when the doc does my balance tests weekly. If i turn too fast I get the vertigo sensations and sometimes even laying in bed or seeing too many colours or patterns. I still can't drive

- Patterns: They hurt my eyes and head, especially if they are busy and intricate.

- Obsessive: I suffer from obsessive thoughts... constantly, dissecting and reliving or creating the worst memories and scenarios my mind can torture me with and I can't stop them. I am now on anti depressants

- Anxiety: I am constantly nervous, afraid, I have anxiety attacks at the thought of returning to work or going to a public function or place I am not already familiar with.

- Poor decision making: I can't make decisions. It upsets me. It paralyses me. Deciding what to make for dinner already makes my heart race... then I get really irritable and want to crawl out of my skin.

- Irritable: I am far more short tempered than I used to be... people have actually remarked on it.

Even in the quiet, I feel sometimes like I want to crawl out of my skin and run and run and run...

My family, is supportive, but even then I see them losing patience. My mother (who helps me look after my daughter) asked if I thought I was "not letting myself get better". My work is constantly asking when I'm coming back, will I come back, can I still do my job?

Can I? Can I return to a job where the reality is that I WILL be placed in the position of wrestling with a violent offender - responsible for my safety, the public's safety and that of my coworkers? Can I get hit in the head again? I have a family and a quality of life... or am I simply being a wimp?

Could this be in my head? ( I was asked that too... could the symptoms just be in my head?)

Thank you kindly for your time.

Cheers,

Rayna

Concussions don't show up on CT scans.

Who told you you were no longer concussed?

I imagine that your PCP knows what you're going through? 10 concussions is a lot, and concussions have a cumulative effect on the brain, regardless of whether they show up on a CT scan or MRI.

Have you seen a neurologist? Try to get a referral to see one who specializes in head injuries and/ or concussions.

I can't tell you whether you can return to your job after what you've been through.

If these were caused by auto accidents, get an attorney. You might just want to get an attorney anyway. Don't sign anything or take any kind of settlement until you speak to an attorney about these incidents.

Try to stay calm and not worry. Experts believe that anxiety can adversely affect recovery from head injuries and concussions. Also, experts also recommend not to dwell on your symptoms.

Make sure you are eating healthy foods. Sugar and too many carbs are not good for the brain. Make sure you take your vitamins and minerals, especially the B vitamins, they are really good for the brain. My neurologist is especially keen on B12. As are Omega Acids, 3+6+9, I take mine as an oil every day. I have read about research that says BCAA's might help people recover faster from brain injuries - the article is posted somewhere in this forum... I take them as a supplement, but you can find them in red meat. Protein is also very good for the brain.

Try not to "overdo" it. This means don't stimulate your brain too much... the patterns and light and sound may be too much for your brain to process it all - they take extra processing power.

With some time and rest, hopefully, you'll get back to closer to normal.

I was in a bad auto accident about 20 months ago - before that time I worked back stage about 60 hours a week and I was super strong. I wasn't able to work or drive for a year after the accident. Now I can only work 20 hours a week and I have to take it easy. My Dr. is allowing me back to a normal schedule very slowly. We all have our stories here, but my point is that it takes time - I'm still noticing huge leaps in my recovery and we all think I might make it very close to normal, but it might take a long time for me to reach that, so try to be patient.

Rayna,

Welcome to NeuroTalk, I am sorry to hear of your struggles and your long and serious concussion history.

It sounds like you never were properly treated for the injury 4 years ago. I bet it was an on the job injury. That means doctors try to minimize the severity of the injury to avoid liability.

My concern for you is that you have a serious upper neck injury where C-1 (Atlas) meets the skull. This can cause the TMJ, head aches and many of you other symptoms. Add to this the cumulative effects of your concussions and your brain has been seriously traumatized.

There is no specific treatment for the PCS but the individual symptoms may be treatable. An upper cervical chiropractor (NUCCA.org) may be able to help you.

I am guessing your are in Canada by your hockey and your spelling of 'tonne' Your access to good help may be more difficult with Canada's health care system.

One thing you can do for yourself is get a sound mTBI nutritional supplement regimen started. I think you will need to consider nutritional supplements as a new lifestyle due to your history. There are plenty of posts here if you search vitamins.

You should also check out the "mTBI resources and other links" sticky threads above. There are some good ideas posted in the last few months.

Getting some blood work done can also help. B-12, folate, vit D, Thyroid, progesterone, estradiol, and a few others that I can't remember can effect your current condition and ability to recover. Concussions can wreak havoc on hormone systems

You also need to consider future activities. Hockey and risky activities can put your entire future at risk. Sorry but it is the most serious truth anybody can tell you. Working with criminals or crowds is also risky.

This should get you started. Others will add their comments, too.

My best to you.

Hi Rayna,

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. You have found a very helpful forum with caring people and a lot of useful information. This will help you to get started on the road to recovery.

Perhaps it would help for now, just to ease your mind a bit, to read some of the entries under the sticky "Posts on Hope and Healing." There are some inspiring stories there of people eventually recovering from some pretty bad injuries. In addition, the book Brainlash, by Gail Denton, is both a helpful resource and an inspiring recovery story.

I have been suffering from very severe photophobia (light sensitivity) for some time. A few weeks ago, I started a thread called "Tips for working with light sensitivity" in which I shared some of the strategies that I have used to help me to work around the light sensitivity. Perhaps you would find some helpful information there.

There are some recent threads discussing anxiety and OCD. I have a long history of dealing with anxiety and OCD (before my brain injury) and shared some of my thoughts in my comments on a thread called "please read/analyze my situation." Anxiety and OCD are both treatable, and you don't need to wait for your injury to heal to be able to at least start making some progress in treating them.

If this is too much info at once, there is no need to worry. Maybe you can take on one thing at a time and come back and revisit some of these posts as you feel comfortable addressing different issues. I know that it can feel overwhelming to get a flood of advice (even if it is good advice!) all at once and not know where to start.

If you have any trouble finding the threads/comments I mentioned, just say so and I'll either repost or rewrite them.

Take care and hang in there!

Pete

I just wanted to write quickly and thank you all for the advice. I did go off on a bit of a rant there and I appreciate you guys taking the time to read it. Your advice is much appreciated and I will be putting it into action.

Thankfully my doctor seems to be on board and willing to push as hard as he can to help me out... I am awaiting a consult with a neurologist.

Thank you again. Not that I would wish this on anyone, but I am glad to know that I'm not alone.

Cheers

Rayna

Don't get your hopes up with the neurologist. Most are basically clueless about concussion issues. The most important thing is to get checked for nerve functions including a full exam of the cranial nerves. A physiatrist (Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation specialist) is often better with concussions that a neurologist.

Maybe you will get lucky a get a one in one hundred neurologist who understands concussions.

My best to you.

Hi Rayna,

I am also in my early 30s and have had approximately 10 concussions starting at age 9. We are in quite an exclusive club!

Also, I am in the process of returning to work which carries the risk of further concussions (working in a hospital with potentially violent offenders with mental health problems).

I have had many different thoughts about whether or not I have been wanting to return to this job. On the one hand it seems totally crazy to put myself back in that position. However, when the practicalities of not returning are considered, they too are very difficult.

During my return to work I have been very fatigued and far less efficient. I am sure that I could not have coped with the expectations which a new job would have placed upon me, meaning that I would have had to have been out of work for pretty much a whole year before I became well enough . And when you've been out of work for a whole year for health reasons I imagine it's very hard to find a job anyway.

Since people at my current workplace knew me as pretty efficient and hard working they could see my problems were due to the injury. I have been allowed to return to my old job gradually, and to have reduced duties which reduce the risk of difficulties for me. Particularly, for months I worked only part time and only did admin work, without any direct patient contact at all. This meant a lot of time on the computer, which was very boring and not very good for me, but it meant I wasn't going to get hit or buffetted which was more important.

These factors left me with little choice but to return to my old job despite the dangers. They will not and have not been happy for me to avoid dangerous situations forever, but I was able to find my feet, earn some money and do some useful work using this return to work plan, many months earlier than would have been possible if I had been required to work normal duties. I don't think I see myself staying there long term as I definitely need to move somewhere where there is less risk of a head impact, but the risk of being hit at my current job vs the risk of not being able to cope with another job is a tough one to balance.

The route I have taken has been tough but seems to have worked fairly well. So I would advise you to try to return to work (only when you are ready, and it doesn't sound to me like you are ready just yet) on reduced duties which DON'T involve wrestling with anyone. Do all the boring stuff noone wants to do, writing up reports or whatever admin there is in your job. Here in the UK employers have some sort of legal responsibility to make 'reasonable adjustments' to your duties as long as there is something useful you could be doing, and a lot of what Occupational Health do is advise on this.

Then, once you think you are well enough to cope with the demands of a new job, start looking.

And by the way, you are not being a wimp. It doesn't matter how tough you are, if your brain doesn't work properly then it doesn't work properly. You wouldn't ask if you were being a wimp if you couldn't run on a broken leg, would you?

All the best!

Thanks Mark and Klaus!

I have seen a couple of threads where people talk about exercising... I was told not to exercise... is this a good plan? I was physically active before, and finding the stagnant life I now seem to lead had had negative side effects for me both physically and mentally... any suggestions?

Thanks all.

Rayna

Echoing everyone else's comments about the site being a great place to find information and empathy.

I also had multiple concussions as a child and never really thought about it before, since the symptoms never lasted very long. I had another 3 1/2 years ago playing softball. This one is the only that I've had Post Concussion Syndrome symptoms.

I had no apparent injury to the outside of my head, no marks, abrasions or bruises.
The CT showed three areas of minor bleeding that were confirmed by MRI. I've been told that concussions do not show on CT. I really think that I was diagnosed with concussion because the MD's ruled out everything else they could think of.

I agree with Mark that the neurologist is necessary to make sure nothing is structurally wrong, but not much help beyond possibly information and dealing with prophylactic drugs for headache prevention. Usually Depakote and Amiltrityline.

Traumatic Brain Injury is very different for everyone, althougth the symptoms you describe are consistent with most of us on this site.

Find a neuropsychiatrist if possible. I believe that's your best bet for treatment of your symptoms as well as psychological impacts of this dibilitating condition.

Take good care of yourself. Rest as much as possible, physically and mentally. Eat well. Avoid sugars and fats. Excercise gently when you are ready and gradually build stamina. Walk. Be prepared for some "bad" days when you are testing your limits.

There is no defined time period for healing, as everyone is different. Let your family and friends be there for you.

Use this site. There are many sucess story's here as well as the empathy.
Good luck to you.

You will go through a "testing" phase where you'll have to find out what you are capable of both mentally and physically. If you overdo it, you will "pay" for it with increased symtoms later. Unfortunately it seems to be the only way to find out where you are. Just like any other exercise, you'll have to increase your capacity, stamina and endurance slowly. Just like having soreness in your muscles when you "push" it, you will have increased symptoms at times following. I've been told by by neurologist and neuropsychiatrist that this won't do me further damage.