Crystal,
My thoughts are with you girl! I just wanted to say that you are not alone!

I considerd myself (as did most everyone who knows me) to be a very level headed, rational person before my injury. Now I am much more emotional and have also had similar thoughts as you.

I completely agree the same medicines we are instructed to take to "help" us recover, can also be very dangerous if not taken properly.

Shame on Workman's Comp for being allowed to deny you the medication you need. That combined with all the emotions, lack of independance, pain, fatigue, and added family stressors....is enough to set anyone over the edge.

Thank God your Guardian Angel showed up!

You poor, poor thing. (((Hugs))) to you. I hope you'll find some equilibrium soon. I'd be happy to share my email with you should you ever need to talk to someone who's more comfortable walking in your shoes.

You aren't alone, and you are important. Take care!

Thank you all for your support. It means alot to me. I am so happy to have support in my life. I'm grateful for my family and my husband is very loyal to me. He has been home with me through this whole painful ten months. My husband has his own issues but he loves me so much. I find this to be rare. I can see if I kicked him out then he would sit on the steps until I let him back. Needless to say this has also given me the courage to speak my mind on issues we do have. Not big ones but enough to make me sad. I have brought to the surface things I couldn't turn away from and he now knows where I'm coming from.

I took my walk and feel refreshed. I am having my sister, my nephew, my son, my friend and my son's girlfriend over to go hiking tonight. Usually when I'm like this I retreat in. This time I told them all my struggles so when they see me they will see why I look like an emotional sobbing trainwreck. I am making a very easy dinner so after we can all be together. I'm sick of feeling like I'm crazy. I have some light gardening to do, songs to sing, and coloring books to keep me busy.

My prayers are with you. I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles.

Don't worry about posting "personal" stuff - that's why we're here - to help support one another. I can't think of anything more personal than a brain injury.

I understand your despair.

I had a similar experience 33 years ago. Plus, for about 3+ years after my severe concussion in 1965, I had these episodes from time to time. My concern for how it would affect my mother kept me alive.

Back in 1996, after a pretty good conk to my head when I stood up under a solid beam, I was struggling with head aches and insomnia. My doctor gave be a prescription for Periactin (cyproheptadine). It is an antihistamine that has sedating effects.

The morning after taking the Periactin, I woke up to the most horrible and miserable depression I have ever experienced. It was the longest day of my life. I did not take it that night and was fine the next morning. I called my neuro and reported my experience. He agreed that it was likely the Periactin. Now, I include it in the list of meds that I am allergic to.

If we can just make it through that day, we can reach out for help.

Hope you have a god evening with family.

My best to you.