[JulieRN]

A few months ago, I posted how much I loved going to the gym with my Son. I felt great getting into shape, and was enjoying the interaction with the "older" clientele at the gym in the morning lol (my 21 year old Son is such a good sport!)...

I've not been to the gym in over a month. I have a treadmill in my home which I haven't used much since my symptoms resurfaced with a vengeance and I've had weight loss as well, which I wasn't looking to do...I've actually lost 16 pounds since I've been out of work in July...I'm tipping the scales at 110 pounds...

So, I'm sitting here this morning...my eyes are tearing up a storm (as they've been for a few weeks..which I'm attributing to the dry New England air)..and thought maybe I'd try to go to the gym.

I can't go. I just can't. And I can't explain WHY, other than I just can. not.
I want to go, but can't. Reading this doesn't even make sense to me. It's completely how I FEEL though. Is it the fear of the noise that may exacerbate my symptoms? The interaction with others? I'm so frustrated!
I always feel better after I exercise...I may try to make my way to my treadmill for a bit and see if I can work myself out the door by the end of the week....

I really don't want to isolate myself from the world. I went out for a bit yesterday and it felt wonderful to see people...maybe I'm reading too much in to this...

As I type, I'm thinking that a large part of me doesn't want to RISK an exacerbation of my symptoms...I'm starting to walk on eggshells and I don't like that...I had a few decent days and am afraid of screwing that up...

Any advice???

[ginnie]

I think what is happening to you is normal. We all go through periods with illness that can make us want to stay home. I am afraid to go out because of all the germs, I have a compromised immune system. I too hybernate at times. But...there comes a time I square up my shoulders, and go forward. don't beat your self up because you are afraid of making your symptons worse. Nobody wants to increase their pain levels or make the conditions worse. I would take this time out, reflect on it, accept it, and make those tiny moves forward. Get on your tred mill at home, enjoy the quiet if you can. Clear your mind, give yourself a break. It really is OK. I really do live in a high area of tourists, and get home bound and afraid. I rally around at some point and venture out again. Be kind to yourself, you are just trying to protect yourself and I don't think that is wrong to do. I hope this day can be better for you, and that you give yourself a hug. Happy Valentines day, from one person to another. ginnie

[bh_pcs]

Not sure if this will give you some perspective, JulieRN, but I'm at work here right now, and any little bit of interaction with other people is putting me on edge. I was fine yesterday because I was isolated, working from home.

I think adapting to change could be the culprit, even though the change is so small. The brain can't handle it for some reason and I feel these things and have to remove myself from each thought to protect myself.

Maybe once your feelings pass and you feel up for it, get to the gym. Give yourself some extra time.

[Lagr]

I can totally relate to what you're describing and I also think it's normal to feel that way. I never went out that much pre-injury, but the few times I've been invited to social events while dealing with this pcs I've politely declined for fear of making my symptoms worse. The thought of being in a room with lots of people talking just makes me dizzy.

Do you listen to music when exercising? Maybe you could make a new workout mix to help motivate you to get to the gym. I find that helps me look forward to a workout. Also, this probably sounds silly, but maybe get a new workout outfit. If I get a new exercise top, I'm always more excited to break it in at the gym. Just a couple suggestions.

[SpaceCadet]

Originally Posted by JulieRN

A few months ago, I posted how much I loved going to the gym with my Son. I felt great getting into shape, and was enjoying the interaction with the "older" clientele at the gym in the morning lol (my 21 year old Son is such a good sport!)...

I've not been to the gym in over a month. I have a treadmill in my home which I haven't used much since my symptoms resurfaced with a vengeance and I've had weight loss as well, which I wasn't looking to do...I've actually lost 16 pounds since I've been out of work in July...I'm tipping the scales at 110 pounds...

So, I'm sitting here this morning...my eyes are tearing up a storm (as they've been for a few weeks..which I'm attributing to the dry New England air)..and thought maybe I'd try to go to the gym.

I can't go. I just can't. And I can't explain WHY, other than I just can. not.
I want to go, but can't. Reading this doesn't even make sense to me. It's completely how I FEEL though. Is it the fear of the noise that may exacerbate my symptoms? The interaction with others? I'm so frustrated!
I always feel better after I exercise...I may try to make my way to my treadmill for a bit and see if I can work myself out the door by the end of the week....

I really don't want to isolate myself from the world. I went out for a bit yesterday and it felt wonderful to see people...maybe I'm reading too much in to this...

As I type, I'm thinking that a large part of me doesn't want to RISK an exacerbation of my symptoms...I'm starting to walk on eggshells and I don't like that...I had a few decent days and am afraid of screwing that up...

Any advice???

I know exactly how you feel. I've had some good days going out where I had no problem shopping at Walmart or whatever it may be, but it was the bad days where I went out and my symptoms were exacerbated that scare me from going out again. It's sooooo uncomfortable when you have a bad day like that...the symptoms become so disturbing and intolerable. I know how you feel.

I don't really know what to say...my threshold is so random it's hard for me to find out what my brain can and can't tolerate. One day I'll go to Walmart and spend 15 minutes there and be fine. Another day I'll go, spend the same amount of time there and be wiped out for 3 days. You've gone to the gym before, right? So...if your threshold isn't as random as mine, you should be able to tell what your brain can tolerate.

I would go, spend 15-20 minutes there and then call it a day. If you don't have any ill effects, that should be your threshold and you should be able to handle that amount of time at the gym again. Like I said, I know how you feel...it's up to you if you want to risk it. Some pretty crazy things have happened to me that prevent me from leaving the house.

[Mark in Idaho]

I understand how you feel. I been through the same. I stopped driving for more than two years after cutting a finger off with a cordless saw. I realized how disconnected from my surroundings my brain had left me. I began questioning much of how I interact with different situations and environments.

How about just going to 'visit' the gym. Don't even dress in work out clothes. Be prepared to walk right back out. Have some ear plugs and dark glasses with you to see if you need them. Maybe you can talk with a trainer about when the gym is quietest.

I know that I can endure just about any environment if I can make a quick escape. I may come back out with a "woooh, that was close ! " but still be able to avoid any return of symptoms.

I know that, "I can't do this but can't explain why" feeling.

It may help if you discuss this with your family and ask them to support you with a spur of the moment quick visit to the gym. When you have someone with you and no time to get overly anxious, the momentary stretch to go in the gym may be more tolerant.

Ask them to just offer a walk through the gym when there is time and you are just driving by the gym. Keep your ear plugs, sun glasses and gym shoes in the family car. A sort of "Hey, we're right here by the gym. Let's just take a quick quiet walk through." Then do the walk through quietly with just one supportive family member.

I know that too much thinking can get in the way of making the move to go.

Also, go out with family just to be along with them. Sort of a testing the various waters excursion. This is the only way you will learn your tolerance levels.

Just be sure to have an escape plan. Have that escape plan any time you go out.

Knowing you have support for your escape plan makes these excursions much easier.

Also, I bet you have days and times of day when you feel better. Recognize them and use that time. It feels good to use that time to get out.

Save the stretching your limits until you have had enough successful quick trips.

You can do this. We are behind you.

My best to you.

[TooStressed]

I had to cancel my gym membership after my concussion. It stinks. Maybe you should try doing some yoga at home in front of the TV. I got a beginners yoga DVD(Rodney Yee's Beginning Yoga by Gaiam) which is really good. Doesn't get your heart rate up too much and is real basic yoga 101. Not a great workout, but at least it's something.

[SpaceCadet]

P.S. - There ain't no shame in being a hermit!!!!

[Kenjhee]

I think I can sympathize. I tend to be a homebody, a while back someone I worked for actually made that comment, also that even at work (at my former employer) I tended to hole up in my cubicle and not leave for the rest of the day.

I have a theory (oh no, another one of Kenjhee's theories!) that this is part of an immune system response. How so?...well, what does a sick animal need most of all? Rest, so it can recover from its illness. Behavior is something that can be hard-wired into the genes, just like any physical expression. Something about a brain injury triggers this inappropriate response (or maybe, partially inappropriate, as we TBI survivors are sick, after all).

[Klaus]

Originally Posted by JulieRN

I can't go. I just can't. And I can't explain WHY, other than I just can. not.
I want to go, but can't. Reading this doesn't even make sense to me. It's completely how I FEEL though.

I have felt similarly many times, about many things. I too tried to rationalise it in terms of symptoms, but it never quite added up - the worsening of symptoms from any given activity was often not bad enough to justify just how badly I DIDN'T WANT to do that thing.

I've been doing a lot of reading now that I'm well enough to do so, and came across a discussion of 'loss of executive function' as being very common following TBI. This is essentially a 'loss of ability to engage in purposeful activity' and can manifest as lack of motivation as well as problems with attention ie sticking to a task. It seems to basically be a mindset that makes you not want to do anything that is remotely difficult.

It came as a shock to me that I would have suffered from this as it feels kind of worse than my other symptoms, more of a change in who I am than just another bit of pain and discomfort. But I'm certain I had, and to an extent still have this symptom, and it sounds like you do too. It is common and should pass. Good luck!