[MaineMamarazzi]

Hello Everyone!

Stumbling across this forum has brought me tears of joy! You mean..its not all in my head?! I'm NOT really lazy or ditzy!?

A little about me:

I am a 33yo mother of 3 (ages 3, 5, 6). On June 26, 2012 I was heading home. I was driving my husbands quad cab truck...normally I drive my minivan..but it needed new tires. So I was forced to drive his truck. Putting my daughter in the front with me (didn't like having to do that), she's 6. The two boys in the back seats. All of them in child seats.
I was sitting at a red light.....foot on brake...glanced up in rear view....saw a white car approachging...FAST....and it was all over....
I remember during the impact, seeing the movement of my son's body. Meaning I was turned and looking over my right shoulder in the back of the seat upon impact. (Mothers instinct to look to her children).

MY KIDS ARE ALL FINE :-)

The man was driving a white Kia and had his 15yo son with him. Niether wearing seatbelts..but they are fine. The boy jumped out of their vehicle (holding his arm)...screaming at his dad, "why were you doing that?!!", my guess is texting...due to his son yelling that...and his complete negligence of a whole 4 way intersection with a traffic light. (and the fact he was later on leaning against his totaled car...still texting). Sons hand broken.e
He was going 50mph!

He never once braked or tried to veer off. THANK GOODNESS I WAS driving my husbands truck. It was higher than his vehicle..so the nose of his car went slightly under my truck....and the bed of the truck took much of the damaging impact...if I was in my minivan...my older two would have been in way back...and his car would have went straight into the back of them..and makes me sick to think of it. I think what has gotten me through a lot of this in the beginning...is the fact that it could have been MUCH worse..my kids are fine. I appear fine...from the outside.

I am an Army Veteran...all my healthcare is at a VA hospital near me. I had a friend take me there that evening. I have never had whiplash before or anything like this. Burning in upper back....painful pack of head and neck...numb face and tingling in arms and fingertips, and head ache. A touch disoriented right after impact. I just thought it was just me in shock. Had a hard time answering day of the week questions from the EMT.

ER doc said whiplash...blah blah blah...take extra of your pain meds (I have vicodin for chronic pain in my right leg, due to previous osteonecrosis and surgeries to correct it).
And take ibuprofen. Follow up with your primary in a couple weeks.

I went a couple days later...I was feeling HORRIBLE. Passed the range of motion and nerve type exercises she did with me.
Blah blah blah...whiplash...just wait it out. xrays of neck came back fine.

Went dental..due to crazy tight jaw and clenching teeth....so I got TMJ from the accident. Been going to Physical therapy to help with that....
so its been ongoing...

I EVEN thought I was getting better a couple times..then WHAM....

Here I am 4 months later...

I feel like someone is squeezing me brain. The head pressure is crazy!

Pretty sure I'm not on an airplane..but my ears sure do feel like they are!!!

Numb sensation off and on in face...nose, eye socket ect.

Tight jaw.

Spotty throbbing all over my head.

SUPER spacey.

Forgetful.

NO motivation and so lethargic.

I could care less about the pain....I can take that all day long..its this crazy head stuff!
The pain does suck though...
Any form of stress and even when not stress, i get the horrible tension in neck and base of skull and upper back. UGH!
When my kids argue with each other...I get SO irritable and everything hits me x's 10!
Groups of people having discussion...I normally would have tons of input...but now I just stair blankly trying to smile...everything seems like the Teacher on Charlie Brown...whaaa wah whaaahwh wa wa ....

I am normally around 145lbs.....a decent weight for me...
Since the accident...I have lost 18lbs.
Thank goodness I am now maintaining. I do this by eating high calorie foods when I CAN bring myself to eat.
I am a fitness specialist in past life..and love food...and I know all the right ways to treat my body...
but during the day....I am just NOT hungry. I stare blankly at the open fridge....annoyed by the thought of preparing something.

I could go on and on...
My husband is wonderful...but does he REALLY empathize with me? I feel like he thinks I am just overthinking things and lazy...but that is most likely just me being over sensitive. My poor kiddos are so confused..."mommy...the accident was so long ago..and we are fine...why are you still icky?"
Constantly going to apts. PT twice a week...Acupuncture once a week...and all the other apts that come up.
ITS sucking the life out of me! AND the gas out of my car!
I just want to stay home!

Primary care doctor talked with neurologist and they think Post Concussion Syndrome..and after researching it...I have EVERY symptom!
I have an MRI of brain and spine next week...and an apt. with neurologist.
I have an apt. with a physical medicine rehab place in november. I made the apt forever ago...but they are REALLY hard to get into.

Day to day stuff is such a struggle. I feel like I am a horrible mom...
I just don't feel like I am "present" in anything. Just going through the motions.
I can't keep up with household chores..which drives me crazy. Cooking meals makes me cringe. I usually love cooking.
So not only am I suffering...
I feel more bad for my family.

I just want to feel good again.

If you've made it all the way to the end of this post..thank you for listening to me vent.
All of the posts on here you've made have really helped.
Every night I am only on this site...just reading about all of you...in turn making me feel not so alone.

Any advice is welcome :-)

Warmly,
Sabrina

[rmschaver]

If you have followed posts then you may already know how important quiet rest is. You may have to enlist help from whatever family and friends you have. Have your husband watch the you tube video, "you look great parts 1 thru 6." If I were you I would try and see a orthopedic spinal specialist to work with the neurologist.

As you have recognized the symptoms of PCS you may very well want to add some supplements to your diet. At the same time you may want to eliminate other things from your diet. Search out vitamins and supplements in this specific forum from the advance search function. Managing stimulation is a common strategy to help alleviate your symptoms and promote healing.

This can be a very real struggle with children, work and dealing with a lawsuit. The time frame for my injury is very close to yours. Linking as many good days together as possible is VERY IMPORTANT. Can't stress that enough. Just because you feel good for a few days does not mean a return to normal. You can, as I found out end up at square one again.

Good luck

[xxxxcrystalxxxx]

Sabrina,

You have all the classic symptoms of PCS. Do you have anyone to help you? I know it's so hard with the children. I get fatigued just dealing with my teenage son. Have you had PT on your neck? They did an MRI and found a curveture of my spine which contribute to many pcs symptoms as well. Might be worth looking at.

This support group is wonderful so please vent away. Not everyone responds but it's nice to know for other people who are perhaps to shy or dont know what to say, to have the posts to read.

I glad the children are ok. Now to take care of Momma. :0)

[Sam]

Maine,
Welcome to the forum. People here will empathize and understand that your pain and other symptoms are real.

I suppose I should not judge your Dr., but a continuing problem after a car accident should not be ignored. You know yourself, and though the accident was clearly traumatizing, car accidents don't take an active person and turn them into lazy, overly dramatic humans. You should have a neurologist check you out whether your own Dr. will refer you or not. Increasing cranial pressure and memory loss are something to fool around with.

You have also lost a lot of weight which is also not normal unless you were on a diet. Don't let anyone blow you off. Sadly, there are still some Dr.s who write things off as a woman being hysterical. Check around and see if you can find a good nuerologist. See who works with problems stemming from auto accidents.

Sam

[MaineMamarazzi]

Hi all :-)

So nice to come back on here and have responses. Not many things make me smile these days...but your responses really have.

I don't have much of a support group here at home...so the whole get rest part is VERY difficult.

I am a disabled veteran....so I already don't work...but really miss it.(I was a Physical therapy assistant and med tech in Army and have a BA in health and wellness, and am certified to teach group fitness and aquatics).

Being a mama to 3 kids though is one of the most important jobs you can have.

A typical day for me:

6:30 wake up, get kiddos up, get outfits ready, pack cold lunch, feed breakfast, have out the door and on bus by 7:30am.

8am Feed corbin, my youngest. check emails, pick up house as much as I can tolerate.
This is where I should be doing lots of hands on stuff with Corbin...but I have been seriously slacking due to my fatigue.

10am. Pack up corbin, usually in a rushed manner. Head out the door to physical therapy appt. about 30minutes away.

11am, physical therapy for about an hour to help with TMJ and neck issues.
Corbin comes with me...he does well playing quietly by me during my session.

12:30 Eat lunch either at home or on the way home from appt. Usually a small sandwhich shop.

2pm Home again...do a few more chores if possible...its usually minimal these days. (the unkept house is a huge stress factor for me!)

3pm Corbin watches some TV programs...I pretty much bounce from tons of things as far as doing stuff. One minute check email, one minute just sit with corbin, one minute do a few dishes....my mind just cant stick to or complete one thing!
The whole time...what I want to do is go up to my room and just cover my head with the blankets and be alone and rest.

I keep myself busy I guess to keep my mind off from how shitty i feel!

I tend to get irritable and I need to keep that in check and not get cranky with kiddos. I feel so bad when I do.

I have NO energy these days...so muster through my day. It sounds like I am a busy body...but really...nothing seems to ever get done or accomplished.

345pm kiddos are off the bus...time for a snack....
scurry to clean up house a bit more before husband comes home....attempt to come up with a plan for dinner...I'm doing horrible in that department these days. My intentions are always there!

4:30 husband home. He is a great guy..and doesnt expect a lot from me...but its my guilt I think that makes me suck everything up and do things, even though I don't want to.

530 Pull some sort of dinner out of nowhere, lol. I use to always cook meals...ugh...i suck.

630 Kids play or watch a program before bed. I pick up a bit from dinner...watch the news with husband.

7pm Brush kids teeth, read with kiddos...
730 Lights out. 3 yo whines for me to lay with him. I do for a little bit.

830 attempt to pick up toys and kitchen.
9pm zone out on television
I have had serious insomnia issues...but lately I have been able to get to sleep by 1030 due to some herbal medicine that is helping me with appetite and fall asleep. Not use to herbal medicines...but am SO tired of all the icky drugs the VA hospital is always trying to push on me. With all my other health issues...I have been on lots of stuff for the past 10 years.
Currently thyroid med, pain med, depression med (buproprion)...
recently they want me to take amitryptaline..but the side effects sound horrible! She wants me to take it for headaches and sleep. I have the script but have yet to try it.

I have a mri scheduled for Oct. 25 of the brain and neck/spine.
I also have an up coming neurology appt.
I go to PT twice a week..and acupuncture once a week.
Acupuncture doc, she is an md as well, says I may want to request a neuro psych test, and perhaps therapy to vent.

Mostly ALL my healthcare is at the Veterans hospital. I am fully covered medically with all my care given there.
Outside places I would have to pay for....although the VA has authorized to pay for 12 acupuncture visits and 10 outside PT visits.
But normally EVERYTHING is at the VA.

I didn't plan on getting represented by anyone for this accident stuff. One month after accident...other guys insurance was making me uncomfortable. Wondering when my recovery will be complete...UM...HOW the hell am I supposed to know!!!
Advice from family, get attorney.
Just so I don't have to deal with all the paperwork and talking to the people. As I got worse..i knew that stuff would not help my stress levels.

I don't talk to them much...just pretty much go to appts. and let them know what I am up to from time to time.
Having a lawyer is weird...
I didn't think I would feel horrible like I do..and seem to be getting worse....I don't even know what my expectations are. I have angry stages from time to time....
but overall...I guess I just want ALL my medical bills covered and to be compensated for any out of pocket expenses (like all the gas money...geeeez...I am having to skimp on family groceries due to all the $ spent on gas to get to apts!).
I don't work....so I won't get compensated for loss wages...although.....my kids sure have suffered from this whole thing...so lots of lost special moments and activities that I could have been doing with my children. (thats the part that I get angry the most about).
I should stop now...lol...before I get too fired up..hehe.

MRI's probably won't even show anything, right? It will be good to rule out anything else...but if just PCS...it won't show.

I hope the VA neurologist is nice and knows a lot about the condition......
So many times I have walked out of doctors offices with a terrible defeated feeling from not being understood or taken seriously.

I am going to do my best to stay positive. Focus on the good stuff and learn to adapt. Because who knows how long this will go on for. I will try and educate friends and husband with the youtube video and reading material to help them understand...(still doubtful in the back of my mind though).
I am going to try and get my body moving a bit more..perhaps yoga and pilates to help with posture and breathing for anxiety.

Driving has been really weird lately. I feel like I am constantly having to refocus during the drive...I am very aware of my issue...so am always snapping myself out of it. Zoning out a bit I guess...but keeping myself in check.
REALLY lost for words when explaining things or talking about something....weird.

Sorry this post was all over the place.

Thanks again for your helpful words

[Mark in Idaho]

Maine,

Sorry to hear of your many struggles. You were right at finally getting an attorney. My first suggestion is to ask for a home worker to help you at home. A few hours a day will be a big help. You need to be able to get quiet rest. You need a clutter free house. Clutter is counter to your brain's need to heal. Does VA or any other benefit program have a way to offer home help?

Check out www.tbilaw.com and www.subtlebraininjury.com and be sure your attorney is familiar with the information posted there. Gordon Johnson has the best brain injury legal site on the internet. Don't just ask for medical expenses. You need all that you can get.

If possible, get a set of head phones for your kids to use when they are watching TV. You need to not be hearing children's TV sounds. Your three year old can help you out to qualify for you laying down with him. Tell him that he needs to pick up his toys so you will have time to lay down with him.

Your older boys can help out too. They need to understand how cleaning up their toys and messes makes your head hurt. I know that I struggle to pick things up of the floor. Too much up and down. Been there, done that. Your kids can become your best ally if you present you condition to them properly. Throw any sense of Super Mom out the door. You are not super mom. You will be blessed by how they can come to your aid. Kids can be amazingly sensitive when give an opportunity to help because Mom hurts.

What are the meds they have you on? You will be surprised how doctors do not take your total health needs into account when prescribing meds. The amitriptyline script may be worthwhile. The usual dose is only 10 mgs with sometimes an increase to 25 mgs when used for concussion head aches.

You will likely benefit from some serious blood work and nutritional support. Your hormones can get messed up by a concussion and effect you badly.

I can post more later about blood work and concussion/brain nutrition. I have a post in Patty's thread titled Hello, New Here where I list the whole nutritional regimen. Scroll down to my second or third post in that thread.

Feel free to post any questions you may have. I also respond to PM's and emails posted with the links that drop down when you left click on my screen name.

What part of Maine do you live in? Maybe I can recommend some help that is local to you.

My best to you.

[donsdatter]

Hi Sabrina,

I was in a car accident in August. The kid driving was distracted, and I was sitting still at a red light. He must have been going about 35-40 and I was in my van, so the car did not get damaged much, but there wasn't much shock absorption either.

I have had all the MRIs and CTs and they have shown nothing. I have no pain when I lay down, but about 30 minutes after I get up, the pain comes creeping in. It is a pressure in my head and a dull ache in the base of the skull. My neurologist is saying because the pain goes away when I lay down that it may be a CSF leak, but my ENT says no way. I don't know what to think.

I am so exhausted and it has only been 2 months. I have 5 kids at home - I homeschool them, and I have had to get almost full time babysitting help. We are really running out of money, and I don't know how much longer I can do this.

So, you are definitely not alone. I pray that you and I both find some good answers and some real help soon.

Susan

[MaineMamarazzi]

Mark...thanks for all your advice!

I WISH i could get some help here at home! If I had the funds..I definitely would. I have a small home...which makes things look worse than they are.
My boys age 3 and 5 are pretty good. The worst is when they are at each other...bugging each other. My daughter, almost 7 is really great...but needs to be a bit less lazy. Trying to teach her.
Overall GREAT kiddos...I'm so lucky.

I am not aware of any sort of benefit for home help....

Before the accident (june 26), I was doing great with my nutrition. I try to eat "Paleo"...no grains or dairy...and my energy level was so great! No mid afternoon crashes...
After the accident..i just didnt want to eat...at all! So when I DO get an appetite..I would just eat what I could...and try to make it high calorie...so I can stop the weight loss. At the moment, I am maintaining my weight by doing this.
I have a brief moment in morning now...where I can eat...then it goes away..and I get it again later in evening. So it has improved.

My attorneys assistant has me stressed! I have an MRI this thursday of brain and spine...and she says,"well lets hope they come up with something...that would be so helpful...blah blah blah"...GEEEEZ talk about pressure. I even told her...I did my research on what the docs think I have, PCS, and 9 times out of 10...nothing ever shows on MRI...so I am not expecting anything abnormal.
She is a nurse/paralegal! She should of course know this...
She stresses me out when she keeps talking about the MRI results in that sense...like that will be the only thing to validate what I am feeling???

I hope thats not how the legal system works...ugh!


So head pressure still sucks....I wake up in A.M...feeling decent..but as the day goes on, and/or exert myself in anyway...the "my brain is swelling, and heads gonna pop" feeling sets in.
Spotty head throbs...tense neck and upper back. Tightness all over jaw area. Nausea...and the most recent really annoying symptom is the blank stares!
I can be listening to someone talking...and just feel like i am looking past them...and not absorbing much of what they are saying. CONSTANT blank stares...
The zone out/blank stares while driving is quite awful too...and I try to be super careful.

Super anxious when i drive..but even more when I am the passenger!!! My hands are on the dashboard the whole time!

So....Physical therapy and acupuncture on wednesday..
then mri of brain and spine thursday. Neurologist appt. isnt until nov. 15.

I live in Maine....not aware of any resources around me.


Susan....
Sounds like you and i have things in common

Thanks for your reply...would love to stay in touch.

[kpc458]

Hi Sabrina!

I too am a mom of 3 kiddos (and also have a Corbyn!) and know exactly what you are going through!

I just joined here today myself feeling like I needed a place where people knew the struggles that come with PCS.

I have been dealing with this for over a year now, and have had to learn that it is ok to let the dishes sit in the sink and laundry unfolded. As, hard as it is..lol

Wish I had more words of encouragement, but my brain has stopped working for the night.

K

[Mark in Idaho]

Sabrina,

Just a quick link I found for you to check out.

http://www.nashia.org/StatePrograms.asp#MAINE

Maybe there are services or benefits available.

Where in Maine are you?

It is easy to live far from just about anywhere when one lives in Maine. Knowing the general area or town may allow me to research services for you.

My best to you.