Hello folks.

In fact, I have another account however since I didn't log in this forum for long time, I have decided to get a new one.

I came back here to hear your valuable comments on my current situation. I think most of you have learnt a lot about TBI during your struggle with it from your experience.

Firstly, I want to give some background information about me before mentioning my current problems.

Background Info:

I have had 2 concussion (first one happened 3 years ago, second one did 1.5 year ago) other than the recent one and all turned into PCS.
When I was dealing with PCS from first two of my concussions, most disturbing symptom that I had was 'headaches'. Fortunately, I got rid of them.

I am senior student at university. I am (was) exceptionally bright student so that my success in university has allowed me to get admission and scholarship from some leading universities for master's degree. Moreover, I am currently rank top 5 students among senior students.

I also have OCD.

I will not mention how I have acquired any of head injuries of me since it distresses me immensely,
I don't want to remember how it happened. This is because, whenever
I remember the details of one of these traumatic events (mostly the last one), I contemplate committing suicide.

I am not living in either US or Canada unlike most of you.

I am on amitriptyline for ~15 months (It was prescribed to cure recurring headaches I had started having right after my second concussion. It perfectly worked or headaches went away on their own approx. 3 months after the injury, daily dosage: 25mg)

After my second injury I was able to turn back to my normal (symptom-free, high-functioning) life 99.5%. I even consumed alcohol without any problems.

What happened:

And during this semester-break (Almost one and half month ago), I messed up the things again. I got another concussion and my life has crushed down. I feel extremely suicidal since this time I suffered headaches for a month along with symptoms like mental rigidity, thinking outside the box, feeling 'drunk' and dumb. And latter is still present.

I just don't know how to describe this symptom but it is somewhere between drowsiness, apathy, mental fatigue (maybe?) but I am sure that it interferes with my studies. I am not as sharp as I was before. Sometimes I am having hard time concentrating on the topic I have to study because of this feeling.
And I think life would be pointless if I lost my high-functioning brain and left with a brain which is not able to learn new things. And It seems so. This is the reason why I am suicidal. And as if this was not enough, this is my last semester to graduate but I am not even sure I can pull it off or not.
For example, doing some serious math requires more mental effort than it was ever before for me now. I don't know if it is because my IQ has dropped seriously or I cannot concentrate well.

As far as I observed I don't have memory issues or any other PCS symptoms such as tinnitus, dizziness, sleep problems ( I sleep well although I have hard time falling asleep sometimes), vision problems etc.

Btw, I am still on amythiriplyne.

What I wonder:

Is this permanent? If so I will find a way to kill myself. I am serious.
I know I have sunk deep in depression, does depression or anxiety cause mental rigidity or concentration problems?

I got on some daily recovery regimen but it is quite limited; including only omega-3, vitamin B1, B6, B12, B-complex. So far, it didn't help.

I am thinking of adding some daily dosage of Sulbutiamine, but not sure if it helps.

Thanks for your comments.