Hello folks.

In fact, I have another account however since I didn't log in this forum for long time, I have decided to get a new one.

I came back here to hear your valuable comments on my current situation. I think most of you have learnt a lot about TBI during your struggle with it from your experience.

Firstly, I want to give some background information about me before mentioning my current problems.

Background Info:

I have had 2 concussion (first one happened 3 years ago, second one did 1.5 year ago) other than the recent one and all turned into PCS.
When I was dealing with PCS from first two of my concussions, most disturbing symptom that I had was 'headaches'. Fortunately, I got rid of them.

I am senior student at university. I am (was) exceptionally bright student so that my success in university has allowed me to get admission and scholarship from some leading universities for master's degree. Moreover, I am currently rank top 5 students among senior students.

I also have OCD.

I will not mention how I have acquired any of head injuries of me since it distresses me immensely,
I don't want to remember how it happened. This is because, whenever
I remember the details of one of these traumatic events (mostly the last one), I contemplate committing suicide.

I am not living in either US or Canada unlike most of you.

I am on amitriptyline for ~15 months (It was prescribed to cure recurring headaches I had started having right after my second concussion. It perfectly worked or headaches went away on their own approx. 3 months after the injury, daily dosage: 25mg)

After my second injury I was able to turn back to my normal (symptom-free, high-functioning) life 99.5%. I even consumed alcohol without any problems.

What happened:

And during this semester-break (Almost one and half month ago), I messed up the things again. I got another concussion and my life has crushed down. I feel extremely suicidal since this time I suffered headaches for a month along with symptoms like mental rigidity, thinking outside the box, feeling 'drunk' and dumb. And latter is still present.

I just don't know how to describe this symptom but it is somewhere between drowsiness, apathy, mental fatigue (maybe?) but I am sure that it interferes with my studies. I am not as sharp as I was before. Sometimes I am having hard time concentrating on the topic I have to study because of this feeling.
And I think life would be pointless if I lost my high-functioning brain and left with a brain which is not able to learn new things. And It seems so. This is the reason why I am suicidal. And as if this was not enough, this is my last semester to graduate but I am not even sure I can pull it off or not.
For example, doing some serious math requires more mental effort than it was ever before for me now. I don't know if it is because my IQ has dropped seriously or I cannot concentrate well.

As far as I observed I don't have memory issues or any other PCS symptoms such as tinnitus, dizziness, sleep problems ( I sleep well although I have hard time falling asleep sometimes), vision problems etc.

Btw, I am still on amythiriplyne.

What I wonder:

Is this permanent? If so I will find a way to kill myself. I am serious.
I know I have sunk deep in depression, does depression or anxiety cause mental rigidity or concentration problems?

I got on some daily recovery regimen but it is quite limited; including only omega-3, vitamin B1, B6, B12, B-complex. So far, it didn't help.

I am thinking of adding some daily dosage of Sulbutiamine, but not sure if it helps.

Thanks for your comments.

You are so young. Your chances of getting better are are very good! Please read all of the ideas on the board and keep on trying. But don't expect a quick fix. This might take time.
Eat healthy.
Take supplements.
Cut all crap out of your life including, partying, tv, sports, malls, negative people, crowds...anything that makes your symptoms worse.
Seek help for your depression.
Don't dive up.

You need to discuss how you feel with a medical professional, you might need an antidepressant. I have PCS and the turning point was the prescription of Cymbalta (antidepressant) for me, it has lifted my mood, relieved the pain, helped me sleep and now I am on the mend. PCS is very difficult to deal with and it is important that your mood is stable in order that you get better, if your mood is low/flat I think it makes symptoms persist or worsen. I wish you all the best, but you need to talk to a doctor or another health professional face to face soon.

With you having such suicidal thoughts with a few concussions in history and the last one might cause such trauma I would suggest a psychiatrist and a look at google PTSD Criteria.... and psychologist that specialize in TBI....yes antidepressants help out with more then depression with TBIs.

Antidepressants help because central nervous system changes so depression,anxiety,panic changes that makes physical pain and cognitive decline. With cognitive decline you are young and you can get better but it all takes time and full determination within yourself(I know sucks)that's where you find a fit for antidepressant (because we all have other conditions such as OCD) and you might score one fits antidepressant or it may take two tries or three etc.

If you get a psychiatrist that specializes in TBI you will be best off.
When our body's are hurt with a major injury the body goes into automatic depression that leads to pain,anxiety,panic etc

Hello,
I have no advise or answers. Just wanted to tell you I understand how you feel and am here if you need support. Please feel free to private message me. I also have felt suicidal. I know what you are saying. Please reach out if you need to talk. Sometimes just having someone listen is the most helpful thing.
Much love,
Brain

mrAA.

I know what you are going through. A NeuroPsychological Assessment will likely be a big help. By defining your dysfunctions, you can focus on the many work-arounds and accommodations needed to go on. PCS does not cause much loss in IQ from a statistical view. It can cause a slowed processing and memory problems that make one feel like they have a diminished IQ.

You likely need to learn new ways to learn. You may have a diminished digit span. That is the number of variables the brain can process at the same time. It is not a cause for alarm. There are many ways to overcome a diminished digit span. The most common is learning new skills at focusing. The highly intelligent brain tends to be lazy with many thought processes.

The simplest change is to use multi-sensory learning styles. That means using visual, auditory, and tactile senses to learn. You were likely a visual learner who could see information and commit it to memory and understanding. This means you also had good visual processing skills where you could mentally envision the numbers as you processed them. Now, you need to develop new learning and computing skills. Fortunately, you are young enough to have a brain that can learn these new skills easier than us old fogies.

I had fabulous math skills where I could do calculations in my mind. I lost many of these skills at 15 then was able to retrain my mind. I suffered another concussion at 19 and had to relearn these skills again. It took effort but I have done it many times. I try to practice these skills at the store when shopping.

To give you a good example, I was a year ahead of the traditional math program in high school. I successfully challenged Honors Algebra I and took sophomore geometry as a freshman. I was taking Honors Algebra II as a sophomore when the rest of the class was juniors and seniors. I suffered my concussion during the first quart and struggled to get high B'sand low A's in Algebra II. I did not take calc or trig because there was only one teacher and he was my neighbor and I did not want to sit in his class. He was a jerk.

I took my first SAT as a junior and scored 650 on the math. Nine months later, during the middle of my senior year, I took the SAT again and scored 710 on the math. This was long before there were prep courses for the SAT. It had been 1 1/2 years since I had taken a math course but I increased my math score by 60 points.

I went through a similar situation in college and successfully retrained my mind. I took the SAT in 1998 when the students were given their copy to take home with a answer key sent with their scores. I took my son's test and scored 790 on the math and a bit lower on the verbal. I had not taken a math course since 1975. I just kept applying my mind to math.

btw, My most serious and life changing concussion happened when I was 10 years old.

I have a TBI friend who suffered a severe TBI in 1996. It took him a few years before he could return to college. It took 10 years for him to get his BA and then MS. He recently became a new dad and passed his national boards as a professional clinical therapist. His life is full. His experience with TBI has made him a much stronger yet more compassionate person.

So, please don't lose hope. You can overcome this struggle. When you apply yourself to learning new learning skills, you will be much stronger in your academic achievements.

As others have said, find a good doctor or therapist to help you with the suicidal ideation.

My best to you.

Hello again,

I am just able to post a reply now because of school stuff..

Thanks for your answers. I am thankful for having a forum like this which is the only place where people understand me

This week I was less depressed somehow. This is possibly because, I was able to finish some moderately challenging assignment. But still, I don't think I am as sharp as I was before. In fact I have some questions about this.

I have a feeling that this awkward situation of me (having intellectual rigidity, concentration problems, having difficulty to fall asleep) might be caused by depression or anxiety disorder rather than a life-changing brain injury which I thought my case. And this thought was the primary cause of my depression. This might sound like so called 'denial stage' of a TBI but I think I have some arguments to justify it. For example, I have never had balance issues or any vision problems. Furthermore, I don't think I have memory problems. My only complaint was headaches for first month and after headaches are gone, this slowed down feeling has kicked in somehow. I don't say I didn't have concussion, I just say it might not be as life-changing as I think it is.

Here is my question: Can someone experience a remarkable cognitive decline because of a concussion even if all the physical symptoms are cleared off?
and Can depression and anxiety cause such a cognitive decline?

Thanks in advance.

Yes I found stress,anxiety,depression and just the emotional roller coaster does contribute to cognitive decline.Are you planning on the Neuro Pshyc evaluation?It can help you see your progress as well.