thanks for the replies guys. I wake up very sick and confused with blurred vision and that kind of sets the tone for the day. I guess I just have to stay positive in the face of so much suffering. I am glad you guys are doing better,

One night in all my frustration and confusion it was my husband and mother that saved me. I was at a bad place because I didn't have the capacity to understand my injuries.

My second rock bottom, when I did have more understanding, it was the people here that rescued me.

Everybody needs somebody. I'm here if you just want someone to talk to.

Peace, Jace

Mark,

I'm sorry to hear about how you're feeling mate. Post haemorrhage I was horrifically depressed, not helped at all by an anti-depressant that had side effects of.... yup depression! I reached an all time low and took a massive morphine and other such drugs overdose. Thankfully I passed out quickly from the drugs before I had any chance to do more damage to myself and recovered fully after admission to hospital and stomach pumping. Seriously though, I have come such a long way since then, and I hope, so will you. I'm drug and antidepressant free now and other than the episodes I laid out on my other post, function normally.

Really Mark, don't do anything stupid, like I tried to. Look at things and realize that if this is the worst it gets, it can only, surely get better. Even if you need help and medication.
I believe that we only get one life, and if you end that, then that's it, there is nothing, and that's not where I want to be. Best of luck with your appointments.

Mav

Mark,
Are you talking to anyone? A neuropsychologist? It has really helped me. Took several tries to find the one for me. It was well worth it. I'd say it saved my life.

Peace, Jace

thanks for the input guys. I am going to see a neuropsychologist. I have so many symptoms I lose count. but I will hang in there if only for my nephews and nieces. I just don't see any proof out there of improving after six long years.

mark,

Have you ever tried to 'make piece' with the causes of your problems ? It sounds like you are stuck in a 'It is not fair that somebody was negligent and did this to me.' That kind of mental load will definitely cause symptoms to continue, just do to the psychological stress.

that mentality is destroying me. I try to let go of it but I have lost so much as a result of what was done that I find it hard. had to forget about marriage, kids, a job, it's too much sometimes.