I've been on this site for about two years. I'm finally having to deal with grief-as in the loss of the "old" me. I'm stuck. I acknowledge that things won't ever be the same again, but I don't know how to accept it. And I'm alternating between this and this .

tamisue,

I understand your grief. I have gone through this in steps over time, starting in 1971 when I had my first understood relapse or major manifestation of PCS.

Have you sat down and taken inventory of your lost functions, your limited functions and your good functions ? Once you do, maybe a counselor can help you re-invent your life based on your good functions. Please keep in mind that you likely have capabilities you have not even discovered yet.

I am going through this same struggle right now, too. At my age, I am trying to come to grips with the things I have not been able to do or accomplish due to my PCS and trying to figure out what goals I can take on and reasonably achieve in the next decade.

Just know that you are not alone.

My best to you.

I found it helpful to fully acknowledge my grief. For little thngs and big things. It is a life changer for sure, and it is so difficult. We are our brain. There is nothing else.
It is a journey as Mark suggests. Up and down. But it is important to not despair.
I want my old me back so badly. I see glimpses of me from time to time.
Hang in there!!!! Focus on small joys....a clear blue sky, a friend's call, a piece of chocolate.

thanks folks....I'm trying. Mark-I have started to see a therapist just recently. Part of the problem for me is that I'm an overachiever. I'm the person who is quick on her feet-need a decision? Got it. Might not be right-but I can make it. My hub is brilliant-not just because I think so, but because he really is...and I feel like he's getting robbed (not that I'm not)...but I can't have the conversations I used to...I can't follow his logic like I used to, I can't keep up like the before time. I'm so mad and so sad and I just don't know where to direct it. I'm a college student. I'm working toward something I thought I would never have and that is my 4 year degree. I'm also 46. I need to go back to work. I can't be in college forever yet I feel like its taking me longer than it would anyone else...I just can't grasp things like I did before. I'm being whiny...but dammit, I deserve it. Most of the time I look at the bright side. I'm alive, I'm relatively healthy, I'm luckier than a lot of other people who've had tbi...but I'm still mad.

ur not alone, im in ur shoes and feel the exact same way....i losr hope of complete recovery, just trying to find myself again, have not done so because in not familar with the person ive become.

ED

tamisue,

College is harder for most brains at 46. They do not grasp and store information like they used to. When the older students achieve well, it is usually due to maturity, not better brains. Your brain after an injury will struggle even more and tolerate the stress of school and life less.

You may actually be able to be a benefit to your husband. As he ages, he would benefit from slowing down a bit. The older brain does not tolerate stress or habitual fast and complex thought like it used to. You can check out mortality tables and see how stress effects brains as they enter midlife years.

I do my best thinking and communicating in text. Talking can get too difficult as I try to process complex issues. When I slow down and type out my thoughts, I do much better.

I was an over-achiever for much of my life. Even after I learned to slow down, I was still an over-achiever. I just did it in spurts. I have had to learn to slow down many times during my life. Each time, my life improved as I slowed down. There is too much to be missed when you are in a hurry trying to achieve.

My best to you.

I totally get it. I spent the first six months grieving, and then I learned to let go. A couple of good friends and meditation helped. I try to focus on the things that I can still do or how I can modify my old hobbies. The real me is still inside. My body and mind are struggling. I try not to let this injury define me. I am still me, my body is struggling to recover and I need to accept it and help it to recover. Pushing through the pain and trying to do things that I'm not ready for just slows the healing.
Su

Thanks all! Therapist is a good source of information-and giving me something to think about...just what I need

Mark-the idea of texting is good-I have more mistakes talking face to face than I do over text....except the day autocorrect got me and I called a lady I just met an idiot..... At least I had brain injury to blame it on