The concussion almost certainly sent you into a tailspin. I have a history of depression, even sever depression. I was depression and antidepressant free until the concussion. Since then I have been depressed, from mildly to severely. The concussion was definitely the triggering event. Hang in there. I am right there with you. Not giving in for the sake of my son and other loved ones...

A quote I repeat often to myself is "Find a place inside where there is joy, and the joy will burn out the pain," by Joseph Campbell. I repeat it over and over and try to find even just a seed of joy to hold onto, like memories of my son. I also keep two crisis line numbers in my phone contacts.

I am so bored out of my mind that I do not look forward to another morning. It is dreadful to think about how I will spend another day.

You can pop on the board and welcome new sufferers. Seeing them type that I made them feel a little better actually gets rid of my pain for a little while. I think about how you are doing often and miss seeing you on the board. I know, I need to get off the computer and get out, and I have three appointments coming up with psych/neuro/pcp to try new angles after 9 years.

I think all of us wish deep down that there will be a day when we pop in here to say hi to old friends and then go about our lives. But until then, it is a GREAT place to figure out how to heal mentally and physically.

The depression can CRUSH you with brain injury. I used to box and NO BOXER ever hit as hard as this. It's about taking the punch and getting BACK UP, getting professional help and fighting on. There is no other choice.

I'm really sorry you're having such a difficult time too, Will.

I feel so exhausted...

Will, are you having trouble sleeping?

Have you talked to your doctor about how you're feeling so exhausted and low?

hang in there will. just this week i've told a couple people i no longer dread my days like i used to. well, today is a little darker--ebbs and flows when i wish it would just be a solid steep curve, but just know your day will come when you look around and realize the hours don't feel quite so heavy as they used to.

I was never depressed before my brain started acting silly.

My first brain injuries were a couple of major strokes after cardiac surgery - 5 years ago. Turns out if you have a stroke, the docs assume you'll be depressed and throw meds at you.

Sadly, every anti depressant I've ever had has had major side effects of suicidal thoughts and so on. I kept being hospitalized and forced to get even more meds - which made things even worse.

I feel very bad for anyone who has those horrible depressive thoughts naturally.

My TBI was very intense, and I had to go through the darned medication thing all over again.

Why don;'t doctors believe you when you say you can't tolerate anti depressants - even though it was all over my medical records - had to go through the whole thing again.

I have boxes of leftover anti-depressants around here - if I ever do get really bad someday, I know I can just grab a few handfuls and end it all. That is the only comfort I've ever gotten from those meds or any of the mental therapists.

Not seriously thinking about it, and I'm in too much pain, and I'm not cognitively able to do that.

Sending good thoughts to anyone who can use them.

Not to THRILLED that you get comfort from knowing you can end your life with the pills you have at home. And trust me, as one who's tried it twice, you end up SICK and the delusions are horrifying and you wake up after they rip the catheter out in four point restraint with nurse next to you...

I have stroke and brain injury and depression an OCD, and I know you have been through the mill..but we're still people and we still matter...I think antidepressants are given out flippantly, and since all this trouble started with an maoi and not following food rules, I am no fan of pharma, but it does have its place

If you are thinking about suicide,
please read this first...

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/