Oh what a journey it has been since sustaining my first diagnosed concussion 2.5+ years ago. I’m here right now looking for answers that probably can’t be answered. But if anyone has any advice or suggestions, I really appreciate all feedback.

I sustained multiple head injuries during my senior year of high school. I pushed through symptoms on and off for about 2 of the 2.5+ years. I learned the hard way that pushing through does not work. I pushed and pushed until I could not function at all. Stupid. I have learned not to push through symptoms though.

I had a psychotic break (delusions and hallucinations) about a year ago last spring. I was hospitalized for 6 days and was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I didn’t take the diagnosis seriously until about 6 months ago, when those symptoms began reappearing. My parents and I thought my break was from taking amitriptyline, which occasionally does cause psychosis. I would say currently that my schizoaffective symptoms are very mild (minus apathy), thanks to Abilify. The symptoms themselves do not currently worry me. The health of my brain from schizophrenia is what does.

I know this is not the forum for schizophrenia, but I feel like most on here understand what it is like to have poor brain health. Overall, I am at about 50-60%. I have a low tolerance for stress and stimulus, light and sound sensitivity. I’ve figured out how to maximize my days and I can go 1.5-3 hours without a break. Then I need a 55 minute break. I’ve tried more frequent breaks and shorter periods without breaks. This is what works best.

I’m currently taking 5 credits through a local community college. One class is online. They are very low stress and require very little effort. I would like to go into social work or counseling, but that is up in the air. All that I want out of life is to help others improve their situations.

One of the few things that actually helped me (syntonic phototherapy) I overdid, and now my eyes are not doing the best. I’ve been declining again since not being able to do it. That’s the concerning thing to me. I have a good diet, exercise, meditate, have a low to moderate stress, follow the vitamin regimen, am social as much as I can be, and am rarely depressed or anxious. I’ve also done just about every therapy possible.

I know schizophrenia is a brain disease; it can cause havoc on the brain. Combined with brain trauma, I truly don’t know if I will continue to improve. In theory, my brain health will likely diminish. My health has only improved when able to do the syntonics. I had another period of time where I didn’t do the syntonics and declined.

I’ll turn 20 in May. My psychiatrist thinks that I should apply for SSDI. I am thinking that I should apply as well. I don’t imagine that I’ll ever be able to fully provide for myself financially. And one day my parents won’t be around to support me. I will talk to my psychologist about applying for SSDI in about 2 weeks.

I’m just a little confused right now. I am very good at taking things one moment at the time and rarely think about the past or future, but right now I can’t help but think about my future. I feel the only thing to do is to keep taking it one moment at a time, apply for SSDI, and hope/pray like crazy that something better is to come. Is there anything that I can do to improve my situation? Once again, if you have any advice or suggestions, I appreciate it.

Thanks,

Jake