ahmmm...ok, i'm a bit worried about posting this and i don't expect any replies so it's ok if there ain't any.


i know there has been a nasty, angry, vindictive side to me since this TBI happened that folks tell me wasn't part of my nature before.

i just sometimes wonder if that is down to head damage or maybe anger at the way the TBI happened or a bit of both?

my late husband had TBI from an Army injury and it sure as heck changed him but...i think a lot of that was down to bitterness over the way the Army treated him after his injury.

IDK...i don't even know why i'm posting this except i'm still struggling...after 30 years of living with it ffs...to come to terms with all this crap and how it's changed me. i was a hippy kid for god sakes, don't like knowing i got anger and hurt in me and it gets took out on folks who don't deserve it...ruins a lot of special relationships and friendships.

on top of that i got problems with stuff like complex PTSD and D.I.D. ...so half the time i don't know what's what anyways.

maybe others here with TBI could share their stories too? IDK...it might help us all in some way?


Peace and Love to you all,
roz

ok, i think i should try and kick this off with the basics of my story. can't say too much yet coz it's painful but my TBI comes from my father attacking me when I was 11 years old. not the first time but the last time that I know of. he done head damage that I have to live with. i think i have a lot of anger inside me from that, from knowing that i have a lifetime of injury at my own fathers hands. i do know that i frequently misplace that anger onto men in my life. i know that's wrong and i do fight it but...well, sorry folks but i think that's it for now, more later i hope.

hi roz
its ok to vent I fly off the handle more easily since my tib my HA makes me short tempered my injury was caused by someone else, I cant even look at the anger I have inside me I am afraid if I think about it I may be moved to take revenge, I have had a few wacks in the head in my life but this was different fractured skull and major damage , so I an.t gona go there coz it an,t gona eat me up so thats were I,m at, with the anger bit, the effect this is having on my family hurts real BAD so I figure i,m not gona waist my energy on negative emotion. But accept it needs to be addressed. I have found a poster on anther tbi forum not much happening there and invited her to join us she like you roz was damaged as a kid ,she posted over a month ago and has had no replies, poor thing hope she turns up, there good folks here @ NT

vini,thanx for this reply. i guess the thing for me to learn is i had no control over the injury and have no control over the symptoms like amnesia...but i CAN have control over how i react to it. i think that is the point you were making saying about not wasting energy on negative emotions?

and yes i really hope this poster shows up here too, she could use the help and support for sure...as can we all.

I am approaching the 1 year mark of dealing with PCS, and I have experienced a lot of anger. I am generally a cheerful person and a lot of ppl think I still am, and so are surprised when I am grumpy or cynical, etc. But I have decided I can't be angry all the time. On the same note, though, I think I have earned some time to be cranky and angry. So my compromise?

I give myself 2-3 times to be angry every week. 2-3 times where I let myself just be ****** and cranky and annoyed. And I set a time limit and when the time is up, I make myself "get over it" and remind myself that things could be worse, because they CAN ALWAYS be worse!

It helps to a certain extent I guess. But it's hard. You guys know that.

P.S. for anyone who is not squemish (sp?) I recommend the ABC documentary series Hopkins. It is on ABC.com and it can be a good reminder of what else is out there-- warning, though, it is kinda sad. It follows doctors at Johns Hopkins

Thank you for posting this. It is a hard area to discuss, but important to hear others going through the same thing. I am in my 28th month of PCS recovery and have noticed a definite change in my patience level. I get to points where I just can't deal with things and have to remove myself. Usually I have a headache (they have been constant) and there are loud noises or bright lights. My temper goes from okay to rage in a few seconds, surprising my husband and kids. It is hard to separate the argument from the intense anger, but it has been happening for 28 months now. I tell myself it is pcs not the person I am talking with and try to get away from the situation before I do permanent damage. I can't stop the feelings of rage, but I understand them better now, and it helps to know I'm not the only one experiencing this.

hey, i personally think that is a great idea to allow yourself set times to be angry every week. i would have to let my loved one know in advance...though in all honesty he would have to remember me if i was sticking to the times or not as my memory is that bad...and i get angry a lot.

((((((soccermom)))))))) i'm glad to know this helped you to know you are not alone

Hi, My story is in this room somewhere. But its just one of the times.

I've always been a clutz, fallen, had problems. My middle name might
as well have been TBI. But its not, and I've finally been blessed
to learn what my real problem is and how to get some help and support
for it. But it doesn't stop the brain injuries I've had.


My most impressive one, was the one I had abour two years ago, were
I fell off a bench and then off a little area of the carpet. Fell over and
hit a cabinet. I was at a big conference, at a fancy hotel, were they
got my supervisor and call emt's but I refused to go to the hospital.

A mistake in retrospect. I should have gone, learned and then maybe
I would have gotten earlier answers. But it was the start of going
and looking for answers. Days later at my primary I learned I had
a concussion, then a week or two later post concussion syndrome,.

That was my introduction. I had the luck of reading in the paper
about the neuro I use. And I have to say I found some help.

Donna

Thank you SO much for this. I had multiple head injuries in childhood, teens and twenties and always felt i was alone IRL so...thank you SO much for sharing this story.


I'm sorry you had head injuries too but am glad you found help.

I wish much peace and love for you,
roz