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July 1st, new month, new mind set.
My scrubs are so tight that they are cutting into me at the waist. and these are draw string pants!!!! This is the heaviest that I have been in a very long time. I weighed 159 with scrubs on...sigh I have been eating and drinking too long now and want to be healthier. Today is my first alcohol free day in a long time. I stopped at an organic local produce stand and picked up some corn on the cob(which was very good, and I was not grossed out by the little worm that I found when cleaning it, kind of proved to me that it was organic if that makes any sense.) and fresh veggies to cook tonight. For lunch I had turkey meat loaf and collard greens and purple cabbage. for dinner I had left over ham and I sauteed yellow/summer and green zuchinni and an italian egg plant, orange pepper with a tomato and minced garlic, I added some left over cabbage from lunch and some kale too. It was good! and Jeff liked it, even the egg plant. I have more, going to try roasting the veggies tomorrow night. Since I am not drinking, there is no excuse for not going to the gym tonight. So there it is. I am going to lose this weight that I have put on. bizi |
I made it day 3 without a drink, no snacking tonight either.
eating as healthy as I can.jeff is going out of town for the 4th as I am working both friday and saturday. still trying to catch up from our time out of town. Well Jeff made plans to go back to IN on wednesday. His father is basically dieing and he wants to help his mother out. Don't know how long he will last eating a smidge of food and a small juice glass of fluids still producing urine and such. He bought a one way ticket and will stay as long as he can before the semester starts , I can't imagine he will last that much longer. he has bed sores and such very thin. I hope that he goes in his sleep peacefully. the hospice nurse said that she thought that he was not registering pain. please say a prayer/send good thoughts for him his name is larry. thank you my friends. |
oh biz,
i'm sorry it's such a struggle. but, i know you can do it. portion control and moderation, you're right. why is it that we know what to do but don't do it? i'll say a prayer for larry, and for you too get going girl, i'm proud of you. |
Thank you nancy.
I had 3 scrambled eggs with spinach, slice of ham and a cup of brocolli steamed. added a side of greek feta vinegrette to put on the eggs, 4 cups of coffee with half and half creamer for a late brunch. Very low carb. Don't know what we will do for dinner. Maybe baked catfish with crab stuffing and veggies on the side. something simple. bizi |
153.5 this am. feeling quite good about this!
made it to the gym last night walked 70 minutes at 3.5 and supposedly burned 300 calories! this is a journey. bizi |
sounds like you're doing great
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thanks mark, I did not have the best eating habits in IN but was not in control of my meals.
bizi |
Still at 153.5 this morning after a weekend of not healthy food while I was out of town for my father in laws funeral.
But I am back to eating healthy and can perhaps make it to the gym sometime...I will work late tonight and have more paper work to do, charting that I am behind on...like usual. Still AF since 7-1-14 so am happy about that, probably the reason I can lose weight. I need to fold a load of laundry that has been sitting there for over a week, it nags at me. Last night I made out bills 24 of them that felt good and have to send bills in order to get paid! I am sipping a cup of coffee, my second this morning. Must get going. I got up early to take a shower so got that out of the way. Make it a great day and remember that happiness is a decision. bizi |
152.5 this morning...working on my second cup of coffee.
Up earlier than normal maybe I will finish the rest of my paper work and finally fold that load of clothes. bizi edited to add that I did finish my paperwork and put the folded clothes away! |
Had great food today!
lunch: Wild caught salmon with slices of mango on it-yum! purple cabbage collard greens chard with onions and peppers (all organic veggies) Dinner: organic chicken salad with apples and walnuts organic carrots salad with golden raisins a whole avocado with some apple cider vinegar an organic tomato with sour cream chewing gum to help keep me awake! Was going to have a cup of coffee but changed my mind. bizi |
150.5 this am...probably water weight but I love the numbers going down!
pink lady organic apple and coffee for breakfast. I am actually going to a Unitarian Universalists church this morning out of town with my girl friend. The 2nd service starts at 11;15 so a nice leisurely morning have to meet her at her house at 9;40.WE are going to Baton rouge and will probably eat out lunch their, some place different. I looked on line at some of the restuarants and most of the "healthy" ones are closed on sundays so maybe we can ask a member while there of a good place to eat. I plan on going to the gym this afternoon, it is supposed to rain again today. sigh my yard is still wet in some low lying areas. I guess when it rains some every day it will do that. Make it a great day! bizi |
21 days Alcohol Free.
I had a reasonable lunch then had a big dinner.
lunch: tabouli made with quinoa instead of wheat chicken salad with apples and walnuts blue berries Dinner: roasted califlower(Mayo, chili powder, parmesan cheese) small thin egg plant roasted little grapeseed oil and spices spicy cat fish with crab stuffing a baked tomato, organic fresh mango I ate about half of all of what I cooked and will save the rest for tomorrow lunch or dinner, not sure. I am going to go to the gym and walk again on the tred mill. I am stuffed right now so will wait an hour or so before I go. dinner was delicious! bizi _________ |
I ate a lot today!
and it was all good for me.:) I split this lunch and had it at dinner too. Mousaka: ground grass fed beef, egg plant, onions, red peppers, small white potatoes with Mediterranean spices, so good! steamed purple cabbage boiled beets that were delicious all of the veggies were organic. some left over chicken from last night that had chimichurri sauce on it:garlic and parsley and crushed peppers. That was even better tonight! fruit salad(pears, grapes, blueberries, nectarine) Last night I went to the gym and only walk 1.5 mile on the tred mill about 35 minutes. I was so tired. At least I went and did what I did! I have been thinking about when I was going to drink next. It just doesn't seem appealing since I have been losing weight and just eating healthy. I saw my pdoc yesterday. She asked about my drinking behavior. She said that If I had 3 drinks that I should not be taking the klonipin at night. I told her that I would be afraid to not take it that getting good sleep was the most important thing to me staying stable. I don't think she liked me disagreeing with her. I did not tell her that the alcohol interferes with me getting good sleep sometimes I can't get to sleep and will take another 1mg a few hours later if I am still awake. I need my sleep! Jeff texted me a picture of the new carpet and put back together living room. It looks so nice. Now to go find a cat for his mother! 6 days until jeff comes home!!!! I miss him. I got up early to take a much needed shower and a couple cups of coffee with cream and liquid stevia. Gave up my favorite french vanilla creamer, that stuff is full of artificial ingredients. Had a glass of organic fat free milk it was delicious! Trying to eat healthy, not counting carbs but avoiding them for the most part. Happy about my diet and not drinking alcohol.... and the scale keeps moving in the right direction so Life is very good to me. bizi |
sometimes I work saturdays, tomorrow I just made a 9am appointment earliest one in a while. So that is 2 clients in the am, then home for lunch then hair at 1 and then another client at 4. I was hoping to get to the farmers market before lunch will see.
I stopped by a coffee shop and had 4 cups of coffee with splenda and half and half at around 3:30pm...it still did not perk me up! Lunch: Grilled ginger salmon, fresh wild caught and delicious! steamed kale with onions and boiled sugar beets Dinner: boneless pork chop sauteed in grapeseed oil and cayenne pepper seasoning. the last of the asparagus and broccoli slaw which had almonds and raisins, alittle sweet... quinoa tabouli which has lasted amazingly long and still good! strawberries and blueberries one more day for the berries, the strawberries were organic and lasted longer than I thought they would. I am very full from dinner ate too much, not enough to save and hate to throw out food. I know we are supposed to stop when we are satisfied or at 20 minutes. that is when our brain tells us we are full. At least that is what I have heard. I ate well today and feel good for it. bizi |
Making my smoothie was difficult this morning. My blender could not mix it up I think the blender doesn't work any more.
So time to get a new blender. Breakfast smoothie: kale, yogurt, milk, blueberries and raspberries. For lunch I had shrimp creole over tabouli and chard. For dinner I ate chicken salad and tomato, organic and very good. tabouli left over so that is gone now. Ate a juicey peach yum! Hubby is due back at 4;30 tomorrow. Happy to have him home he has been gone 3 weeks. He just helped his mom pick out a new cat from the human society..it took 2 hours! Talked with him on the phone...he is ready to be home. WE were just there for 2 weeks in june so that is 5 weeks out of his summer. But he was so helpful and his mom needed him. It was perfect timing him being off for the summer. He is a good son. I bought him flowers and a card and some of his favorite beer. I can't find his keys..... bizi |
Breakfast:
2 cups of coffee with half and half Using the new nutribullet: kale, brocolli, carrots and blueberries and milk. in nutribullet. wow! Had to add stevia...the brocolli was so over powering...I could not taste anything else. With the stevia it was drinkable. I think I prefer cooked over raw. lunch: grilled shrimp spinach salad. With berries, strawberries, blueberries and cranberries. with a little cheese. It had a balsalmic vinegrette with some honey which was very good. dinner: seared tuna steaks with ginger teriyaki sauce roasted egg plant the remaining cucumber and tomato, feta salad. chewing gum after dinner satisfies my sweet tooth although I don't like the artificial sweetener in it. bizi |
weighed 148 this morning and it is that time of the month so may have even lost more will see in a week.
Since my drunkiness of last thursday, I have had 1 1/2 pints of cider on sunday at a restaurant with friends and nothing this week. We are going to the beach on friday. looking forward to that. Last night I snacked on a BOWL of nuts...it was at least half of a cup at least of peanuts and salty smoked almonds, more like a cup if I were truthful...sigh 148 this morning and it is TOM so that is pretty good of a number, am happy with that. Jeff is gone for the day going to houston to take a guitar to be put on consignment. It is a 4 hour drive if he doesn't run into rush hour traffic. He will be back tonight. We are finished watching Lost for the 5th time. Now we started watching Downton Abbey again, loved that! I did not have a client this morning so am being lazy in my pj's still. Have not been going to the gym, keep telling myself that I will go when I have lost more weight. I have no energy after dinner, that is when I usually go. I wonder if this is more perimenopausal symptoms???? I have been on the internet for hours, this is a real addiction for me. Something that I can't handle at times. sigh one cup of coffee with half and half and stevia. skipped a smoothie this am as I ate a cup of nuts last night. I did eat a peach this am. lunch: this greek egg plant and ground beef maldoum. Delicious! with kale and beets. Dinner: Chicken salad with walnuts and apples and a peach and some strawberries. just now ate about a half cup of cottage cheese. jeff came home from his long day going to houston he is tired. we leave to go to florida on friday. yeay! I really struggled to go down the street to have some drinks this evening. did not go, kept busy on line and talked to my sister a bit. did not make it to the gym either. oh well. bizi |
Friday We packed up my red honda fit and drove 6 hours to pensacola beach florida! Santa Rosa Island to be specific.
Beautiful weather. Checked in to our room for the next 48 hours of vacation. Put on my customary blue floral floor length mu mu and headed to the tiki hut next to the water. Dawn, our favorite bartender was still there, she seemed to recognize us.... Started right off with my favorite rum ice cream drink the famous "bush whacker". and then another favorite: key lime pie shots. My eyes were bigger than my tummy and I got bush whacked. Had a great dinner of Grilled mahi mahi with a side of spinach. That night in the dark, we walked along the beach and watched the waves and stars for hours. There is this phenomenon that occurs there called bioluminecense photo plankton. Right at the water edge when the waves come in and out you run your fingers into the sand and they sparkle, the photo plankton sparkle. It is awesome! We are not sit in the sun people we like walking on the beach and playing with the plankton! LOL The next morning for breakfast we went to the native cafe just a block from the motel. I had a huge seafood omelet...discovered that I do like scallops after all. After breakfast we drove over a long bridge that separates the island from the mainland to the naval base. Last year we toured the navel aviation museum, that was amazing! This year we went to the light house and toured their little museum and We were going to walk up the light house. 177 steps. However I could not wear my sandals and would have gone barefoot to walk up the steel steps. I only made it a dozen stairs to decide that my bare feet could not handle that. So Jeff went up with out me. It is a still functioning light house. He made the journey and enjoyed the views. I will be better prepared when we go back. Truth be told, I don't think that I would have been physically able to climb those stairs. So my goal is to be in better shape. I have a vacation planned for August next year, going to the big apple to see the museums and the phantom of the opera. There will be lots of walking while in new york. That gives me about a year to lose this extra weight and get in better shape. I want to be able to keep up with my parents! For dinner, we drove into pensacola and ate at our favorite steak house called Mcguires. We ended up eating at the bar, would have been a long wait. Hubby ordered a big ribeye and I ordered the tuna. Hubby loved his steak and I sent back the first one because it was over cooked. When my meal came back it was perfect. I LOVED this dish. The tuna rested on a pile of wasabi coleslaw. It was delicious! That was the best tuna I have ever had. It came with a side of creamed spinach which was wonderful. We both were stuffed! Went back to the beach which is across the street from our motel which is located on the sound side body of water. There is a dock there and boats pull up and anchor themselves to the dock then they come up for live music and food and drinks. We stopped at a publix grocery store and bought some fish food and chips which hubby feeds to the seagulls. This morning hubby ate a bagel and I had a wonderful smoothie from this organic store down the street. It had collard greens, spinach, mangoes, blueberries, raspberries, coconut milk, tumerric, and don't remember what else. It was very good, even hubby said he liked it. He doesn't really like mine at home, too green for him and not sweet enough. WE went down to the dock to feed the fish our food which they really got excited and jumped up to try to get the food. these fish were small, like 3 inches. It was fun. WE checked out of the hotel had a couple of bush whackers and drove home. About an hour from home we Stopped in Baton Rouge and had a great dinner at the Chimes restaurant at the LSU campus. Had my favorite dish called new orleans style BBQ shrimp. 10 butterflied shrimp sauteed in a buttery peppery, sauce served with a corn grit cake and a ceasar salad. One word: Delicious. Got back home around 730pm. I am still full and it is 11pm. LOL Great trip! Gulf seafood, you can't beat it! Start back on my diet tomorrow! bizi |
My weight is fluctuating so much. When we came back from the beach it went up to 157!!!
I about had a cow. This morning it is down to 152 still higher than before the weekend. So need to be careful with my food intake. Had one "beer" last night the remaining one. Jeff asked me if I wanted him to get me more, I hesitated and him/hawed then said no. I was happy with that. Started off the morning with a kale, blueberry, milk, protein powder, tumeric (may decrease inflamation) and maca powder http://www.vegkitchen.com/nutrition/...efits-of-maca/ ) and an indian blend of spices. Good, getting used to these new flavors. bizi The indian spice mix is called: Kapha Surya Spice Blend According to Ayurveda, a balanced diet contains all six tastes, sweet, sour, salty, pungent, bitter, and astringent, at every meal. Surya Spice Blends are delicious mixes of herbs and spices lovingly crafted for you to easily enjoy these balancing flavors in your diet. Kapha Surya Spice Blend - A delicious spicy blend of superior quality coriander, ginger, mustard, turmeric, cinnamon, and cayenne; designed to invigorate a Kapha mind-body type. I bought it from the www.chopra.com if anyone is interested in learning about Ayurveda. These are their recommendations to improve my kapha tendencies: Body
Mind
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Hi Bizi,
I've read your post and it seems like you and I are going through the same thing in regards to the fluctuation of weight. Its as if my body stores food at times more than others. I don't know what to do at this point. Have you ever heard of this herbal supplement called Digestic its made by Mimonis? Supposed to get your body in line, but I'm not sure about it yet? any ideas? |
hi jess.
welcome to the forums! I have not heard of that name before. Have you done research on it? What reviews have you read? my bigest problem is drinking alcohol I tend to gain wight then I am inactive and lazy. Have a great club member ship but don't go. sigh bizi I take magnesium oxide for constipation, works like a charm! |
Hi Bizi
I try to keep up on what is happening to you too. I wish your weight loss was easier. You mentioned alcohol being the culprit, any chance you could change that one desire to something else that brings pleasure? I have heard if you substitute something you really want or like, it helps to get rid of the habit you don't like. Remember the old cig adds where they would put a pack in water and then let it sit awhile. Well it ruins your love of cigs that day anyway.
Stand by someone who is sick from booze and make yourself be around them. Maybe seeing someone really __it faced would shock you a bit. Bizi you are such a good woman, and so kind to others. There has to be a way that you can enjoy all of life like you deserve without drinking. My folks were heavy drinkers, and it scared me so much I don't touch much at all. A glass of wine when out to dinner. Maybe work at a drunk house for a day, something to get under your skin. I know this is crazy, but you have struggled so hard with this, and I can't tell you how much I respect you for doing so. Is there some great tasting drink you do like without alcohol? Wish I could do something to help you on this road of yours. Just keep trying Bizi. we are all behind you. My news.... I am in heavy duty therapy as my shoulder cannot have the surgery. The nerve is not trapped, it is compressed from all areas from swollen tendons,muscles, and the sheath that covers the ulner nerve. I blew out my arm trying to take care of this place, this jungle. ruined the ulnar nerve actually as the entire arm is inflamed. Have neuro massage which is hell several times a week. Water therapy, wax therapy, acupuncture, hot and cold therapy, and PT for the rest of me. I am in and out of some office almost daily. Can't believe how bad that neuro massage hurts, OMG!!!! The thing is this arm is so bad, that If I do not do something I will lose my ability to use it altogether. Being an artist, that would be devastating to my mental health. You cannot give up what you are, and believe me working with my left hand is awful. I dropped more things the last month than I have in a life time. All is well in the love dept. If I can get well this fall, and be able to at least cut a cabbage, I will marry this man come Jan. Don't think I will be out of therapy until then. Also I have to save money, and so does my son in order for me to return. No expense with lodging, only food and transport. The new frog I am workng on in beads is adorable. Just wanted to catch up with you and folks as I have not been around for a time, and this has been the reason. I miss all of you very much and still keep NT in my prayers. This site has and always will be a blessing to me. Take care Bizi and gang. ginnie:grouphug: |
dear ginnie,
thank you for your sweet note. I know that you care about me and I appreciate you so much for your truth and honesty. I am so afraid that you will lose your art. What are they telling you? the muscles and tendons need to heal, with that much therapy is that helping or hurting? sorry the neuro therapy hurts so much. Hate to hear that you are in pain. are you in florida or jamaca?Not sure.... Glad to hear that you are thinking about a january wedding. I am sure he will want you arm healed or not just yet. I am sure he loves you very much. I am so happy you have found someone to care for, you deserve love and happiness. your friend bizi |
Hi Bizi
Think I would rather have a baby than the neuro Massage. Sounds great right? nice music, in fact bring your own, candles, nice smell. Well, while one side is being really invaded by fingers that know every nerve, the other half is curled into some fetal position in hopes of some kind of protection from the pain. Tears stream down, the snot runs, groans and moans are constant. If it weren't so painful it would be funny. Even got a charlie horse, begged her to give the break too. Real intensive and I didn't know that kind of therapy existed. Athletes that blow out a leg, arm or body part, this is the kind of therapy they receive in hopes of recovery. My age works against me, but I will fight for sure. My art is at Stake. Fiancee is very supportive. Soon as this arm is well enough, I will return to Jamaica. Hope to Marry at that time in that country. Visas on this end are two to four year wait. I am not young and neither is he!
UP SIDE OF THIS. after 6 treatments,, and being a pin cushion, the intensity of the pain is down a bit. My son says that is great as I am responding. I have to believe that this will work. The other thing I found out is that the tendons in my hands, have atrophied and pulled the tendons inward and shortened. Big time, and I have intensive therapy there also so I can keep my hand. doing 4 kinds of therapy, My son is paying for it. No choice if I want to keep my arm and hand going. If I am to be a Jamaican wife I have to at least be able to cut a cabbage! I cannot give up being an artist so I must do this and succeed. I hope you succeed too Bizi. You are one neat lady, with an intense desire to do good in life. Wish there was some easy fix to make your struggle easier. I guess no matter what we all go through, we do need each other. Well I guess the cats out of the bag who I am going to marry. He is Rasta, to complete the picture. Ginnie never did stay on the path expected of me. I sure didn't expect this path. xxxto all of you, ginnie |
Hi, Ginnie,
'Good to hear from you. :heartthrob: :heartthrob: :heartthrob: Keep taking care of yourself and keeping letting the professionals make you better. :heartthrob: :heartthrob: I send you lots of good energy and good thoughts. :hug::hug::hug: Mari |
Hi, Ginnie,
So sorrry to hear of all these troubles, and the painful therapy. I am glad there is a rainbow at the end of the road, of sorts... your rasta fella waiting for you in the islands. :) And maybe not so much at the end of the road. Maybe he could visit, in between? A visitor (non-immigrant) visa shouldn't be a problem, provided he does not "express intent to immigrate" to a US official. Anyway I am sending good thoughts for your complete recovery, with full use of arm and hand for beaded frogs and mosaic universes and anything else you might dream up to sculpt. :hug::hug::hug: waves |
Hi Waves
He would love to be just a visitor. This has proven to be very difficult. You would think it would be easy just to visit. We are trying all directions. I will go back down there when I am recovered, Marry, and then see through their embassy if we can get him into the states for a visit. I would Never want to Americanize this person in any way shape or form. He needs to be just who and what he is. I am not willing to get at K-1 fiancee request, as in this country you are not allowed to be poor and sponsor your finacee into the country. You have to have a certain income in order to love and Marry. I thought the USA was Free, boy was I mistaken. To be able to tell you, that you must have money to marry to me is awful. I would live in a grass hut to be with him, and I might just wind up doing that!. thanks waves... for prayers and recovery too.
Someday I will post what he looks like if I can ever figure out how to do it. If anyone want to see, PM me with e-mail address and I can send through my samsung, both of our pictures from Jamaica. xxxginnie:grouphug: |
I had no idea it was that hard to go visit. It is easy for us to go there on vacation for a visit, but the other way around.
I bet you are frustrated. bizi |
Ginnie,
Could it be the wait you were talking about is for a green card? That would make more sense to me. Have you seen a lawyer, or where are you getting your information? Getting a visitor visa (B-2) "shouldn't" be difficult (relatively speaking). An interview at the embassy will be required, but other than that, it shouldn't be difficult. With a B-2 he can stay up to 180 days, I believe, if that hasn't changed. He will not, however, be allowed to work under any circumstances. He will be required to demonstrate that he can sustain costs of the trip and stay. If there is any question that you guys may marry and that he might stay, they will deny a B visa application. He must show clear intent to return to Jamaica, in order to be approved. I'd expect waiting periods to be on the order of weeks or months, but not years. http://travel.state.gov/content/visa...t/visitor.html ========== If you two declare that you are engaged, this might confound the "intent to return" requirement for a visitor visa -- it could be denied for this reason. They might want you to apply for a fiance visa (K-1) instead. K-1 gives him more rights (he can apply to work), but you are then required to marry within 90 days to maintain this status. I don't see anything to indicate one must have money for K-1. I see no need to show you can support him. Some visas, such as student visas (H-1) do carry those requirements, but I don't see that here.) http://www.uscis.gov/family/family-u.../fiancee-visas waves |
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Hi waves
Look deeper into K1. It requires you to earn $ 15,000 to sponsor someone in. I am on medicare and medicaid. They don't want a poor person bringing a poor person into the states. I get that. He does have enough to sustain his visit, and proof. My son could co sign, but they make that awful too, because it really is signing for his whole family, kids, grandkids and all. That is co-sponcership. Do I want my son to have to do that????? I wanted it to be finacee route (K1) because we do plan to marry. First was getting copy of his original birth certificate. You do not know how Jamaica runs. They said 6 weeks, that was back in March. He has been to Lucy 4 times to check on it, hell they don't know anything. He paid $60 for that too. (our money)
On his end all he was wanting to do is visit.( yes marry if possible) He could care less about any green card, or staying here. He is a community leader, and very involved in his neighborhood, in fact a number of them. . Pure love. He can be denied at his end for any reason. They do not even have to tell him why. He does not want to become American, just marry me. I would consider duo citizenship even though our country doesn't really like that.( I would lose my benefits if I chose to live with my husband for longer than 29 days, without returning to the USA.) I would need Jamaican Insurance. If I can't stay there, and he isn't allowed here, well.... it seems to be a problem. Waves, we have already been at this, working toward it since March, there has been no progress at all on his end. We need a lawyer, and I will do that if I have to when my house sells. I will not have a long term affair, and it is against his morals. This needs to be before God in Marriage. One way or the other I will figure a way. I have looked into how he does this on his end, going to the embassy and all. What you don't know is only a few each year, are allowed to visit. He would like to see the Dahali Museum and a few others, and get some experiences he does not have in his country....reason for visit. Should be simple but it isn't. So it appears I will marry in Jamaica. ginnie |
was reply to Bizi too
replied to both at the same time. Love you both. ginnie
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Bless you dear Ginnie!
((((((HUGS)))))) bizi |
Quote:
I do advise you to see a lawyer. I am confused about the objectives... further on you say he isn't interested in a green card, but here you talk about potential sponsorship of extended family. Your son could cosponsor him and any minor children. Fiance sponsorship would not include adult children, or their children. He himself could petition for adult children, but only after he got a green card. I am sorry, but I seem to be missing something, in a big way. Anyway the situation sounds complicated if all this extended family is to be involved. Quote:
Yes, they can deny anyone, it is their prerogative, but they'll only do it if they see him as a liability. And it might take time. If he has a passport, he won't need the birth certificate for a B visa. Otherwise, it might be time for him to get a lawyer there, if nothing else but to help push papers through channels and play golf with people who can, or you know. And before you run off to the islands, make sure you can be insured and have benefits on pre-existing, because that alone could be a problem.... also age-wise, and cost-wise. Take care, Ginnie. I wish you well, both of you. :hug::hug: |
Hi Waves
I will keep your post, with information I have regarding this whole issue. He doesn't want the green card which is funny, and his family doesn't want to come here either. They are all grown up and he has grand kids. He never married before. He never thought this would happen either.
We will extend all effort first to go through his side, as you recommended. If denied, then we seek the lawyer. Our objective is to get married in any which way we can. Here, there, doesn't matter. We were origionally told to get the K1 was the fastest way. But after I found out all about that, it kind of put a hold on that idea. Won't marry until I visit my own SS office, and look into their insurances, etc. I actually have a list going. If you can think of any other ideas, I am open to all. I don't just listen, I write it down and have a folder for all the information. So far we are stuck with this original birth certificate. He had one, but it was so smashed they required another to proceed with the application process. Not discouraged waves, it is just that I am getting older, and I don't want to wait years to have this chance at some happy. My son can pay for flights, and that really is the only expense other than more food. I am not use to eating such a limited diet. WE have so much more variety. When I got home, I have to say, I said "Oh Boy" when I got food for my fridge. I swear I would live in a grass hut if I had to, to be with this person. My parents would have freaked! I would be thrilled! Thank you for caring waves. At my age (64) I sure was not expecting to like anyone, much less love someone. I had not dated in 20 years, and didn't want to. I wish you could have heard some of the conversations we had about this! I didn't want a boy friend, lover, husband, only friend, and had decided that a long long time ago. Life threw a big big curve, and I am going to race around that track! Thanks again. ginnie:grouphug::D:hug: |
Hi Ginnie,
Honey, you do not want a visa denial. It will make things that much more difficult. Whatever you do, make it something you feel confident will be approved. Get legal advice if you have to, before... not after you are denied. I feel for you with all this crud. It's just not fair. I know what you mean, I am a bit younger, but still past the "marrying age" if you know what I mean, and really not looking. I am happy for you.... just hope it will work out, somehow, and somewhat fast. Can I toss a few questions at you, to get the situation better? --- Did I get you correctly, that K1 allows a cosponsor (your son could), so the income requirement would not be an obstacle? --- Does your man have a passport? --- Has he ever been to the US before (if so, under what visa)? Eventually, if you guys will live in the US, he will have to apply for permanent residence a.k.a. a "green card". It doesn't make him American, it only gives him right to live in America. Entering US with K (fiance) visa gives him a fiance status that is contingent upon marriage w/in 90 days. It enables him 1) work and 2) to apply for immigrant status (green card) after marriage. If he doesn't marry within the time period his status lapses. Once a person is "out of status" they cannot reacquire status other than by leaving the US and re-entering. Entering US with B (visitor) visa gives him visitor status. He can marry but he does not have to. He cannot work and cannot apply for green card. If he marries, he must request change of status in order to do anything else. Change of status is tricky. The law has fixed time periods where they presume an intent to immigrate/change status was already present or absent. You want to be in the neutral zone, or in the presume-intent-absent time period, before you appoly for change of status. Similarly, getting married could indicate a premature intent to change status. It would be best to get married once you are in the "neutral zone", unless there is a plan for you to return to Jamaica. I saw a lawyer about this... an immigration lawyer... that's who told me. But it was years ago and laws change and get tweaked. That's why you need a lawyer for this. K-1 I agree would be the "cleanest" way to go forward. If your son can cosponsor, I would do it that way. His adult family does not enter into that at all. It's mostly a formality, but your son will be responsible should this man fall ill or something. If you go K-1, bear in mind, there could be a wait for the visa. The other problem is once he is in the US, and the green card processing is under way, he might not be able to travel... or might not be able to get BACK into the US if he does, until processing is complete. You'll need to find out about that.... whether he can be fly back and forth or not with a K visa. I will keep you in mind, and keep on hoping for the best for you. :) waves |
Hi waves
He does not have a passport. That was why he had to have the new birth papers. He has never left Jamaica. Pass port comes before Visa.
No one we talk to, thinks he will get an OK to Visit. The Embassy isn't up to snuff, and like I say, if you look at them wrong, they deny you. Yes, Sean could sponsor him in for income requirements. He is willing to do so. However, legally in the writing, you also take responsibility for the whole family, not just my Rasta. I think they do this to discourage you from having a co-signer to begin with. It is binding in a legal way also. God forbid, if Joseph had some issues in this country, Sean would be responsible for him. No we don't think that would be an issue. He does have a job in Jamaica (God bless that) That is how he has proof of ability to sustain himself here for however long he is allowed to stay. The more I think about this, the more I think you are right. I should get the lawyer who handles this kind of thing. I have started to look into, compassionate care options well. There are some clauses for a person coming into the country to "care" for a disabled person. Just heard about this, and will do the research there. If he can just get the Visa, yep, marry, and try to figure out how to join our lives. I am going to get a very tiny villa here, in an over 55 community, or rather my son is. He will move me there, and I will continue to pay rent as usual. Still lots of hurdles and jumps to go through. I am so glad I know you waves. Thank you for caring about me. If you want to see a few cool pictures, PM me and I will send them to your e-mail via my samsung if you would be curious. I won't lose the information you sent. I pass it on to my son who is also trying to help me. xxxginnie |
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This is as far as I know, but I've known a lot of people with green cards, and this is the first I've ever heard of adult kids much less grandkids getting looped in. Where did you read this? Quote:
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waves |
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A visitor visa is a non-immigrant type visa, and there are no quotas for this. I googled this to see if something changed. Apparently not: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/news/...visas_12672011 Quote:
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Hi waves
Read it on line when they were hashing through all the implications of what co-sponsorship is. Of course you can't believe everything you read on line either.
I best do the Lawyer, and look into that compassionate care thing. Will start to look for a lawyer this coming week. Heck that is scary too, getting someone that is just in that field is what I will do. Thanks Waves. xxxginnie:grouphug: |
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