White knuckling it - nothing fits better to describe his state of mind. The cats out of the bag, a few weeks ago I realised he's been sneaking my painkillers, probably at least 1 a day. Because I don't take the amount I'm supposed to take I hadn't really kept track of what I've got and how much I have left, until a few months ago I started thinking "I'm running out of these quicker than what I would expect" thought my mind was playing tricks for a while, but began to pay closer attention, closer, closer, and I've run out! only this time I know why, not an easy discussion and I tried hard to keep my calm

That was 10 days ago. He had been taking one every now and then over the years, the many rounds of dental horror earlier in the year saw it increase to well it's needed and then we hit July and it became a daily thing. So withdrawal from opiates it seems is quite different to alcohol. Not going to be an easy August with all the self motivating negative talk. It's hard to listen to so I can't begin to imagine how it makes him feel. I'm sure you all know the language and what I mean. eg I'm a fat lazy #### I'm a weak ######, cmon you lazy welsh ####### he is none of those things and it makes me sad.

Pamela, that sounds hard.

I have no experience of opiate use so have nothing to offer I am afraid.

However, I want you to know that I am thinking and caring about you and DB.

:hug:

Oh Pam,
What a "bummer". I hope you can at least convince him to take one every other day so he does not have much of withdrawal symptoms. Hopefully, he can then get to one every couple of days and then every few; then stop. If he comes up with the language ######, you can tell him how wonderful you think he is trying to cut back this way. You know it's not easy; but are very proud of him. (Do you think that might work??)


Gerry

Pam.....
 

No chance, he is very angry with himself, I offered to help him taper off, I've had loads of exp as you know... Not interested only wants to do it his own way so all my unused medication is now securely out of sight. I'm hoping he should be ok, I don't think he had used them as a crutch for long.

Saw his psych yesterday, he says she has said they are on the brink of a breakthrough. While it scares him, I think it also offers hope. Meanwhile I'm getting fat again with all the sweets, chocolate etc he is buying to assuage his cravings.

Pam,
Good news about the psych. I can imagine his being scared; but offering hope may help him get thru this period.

I can't blame my husband about all the sweets I have been eating. Not sure it is all these meds. (excuse??) I do eat not eat a lot of food; but sweets; wayyyyyyy too much.

At lunch, I'll have the minimum looking forward to the coffee; cinnamon bread/cake. Not bad enough I have been buying the Land O Lakes Cinnamon Sugar Spread to spread all over the top of the slice of cake. This is daily.

Then I have been baking the Betty Crocker Cookies mixes. Hubby does like those so he has one or two cookies with coffee after lunch; but of course, after my Cinnamon cake; I must at least try a cookie. No self control. The scale is really getting me concerned; but that does not seem to stop me. Also, along with the Schwan's food service, I have been ordering an assortment of their deeelicious ice cream. We have that after dinner.

Some years ago, I saw a doctor regarding my migraines; he said I had the personality of an alcoholic. That thought has stayed with me through the years. It has helped me limit in this area. I heeded the doctor's warning; I was afraid he might be right. I can understand your husband cravings.



Gerry

222 days
 

222 days since he had a drink. And, on August 14 it will be 1 year since a bender.

Pamela, that is excellent news - I reckon that DB is doing really well :).

WOOHOO!!!

<inserting more text 'cause the software is making me, but that is all I really wanted to say>

Pam,
Like seeing all those 222's in a row looks good. Now we have to aim for the 3's; like..... 333's and counting......

Thanks for the update.


Gerry