[Pamster]

Talk about female reproductive problems.











Well if you didn't know already, I have an ovarian mass, I forsee them removing the ovary since the health dept nurse seemed to think that was the way the dr would lean, and she mentioned uterine lining ablation, which is where they essentially burn off the uterine lining because of uncontrolled bleeding which I thought was preimenapause but it might not be. They are set to biopsy it the 6th and I was really freaking out about this last week.

I decided to start the buspar and risk it. OMG it is really amazing stuff! I like how it's keeping me calm, I am up to 20 mgs a day now, taking 12.5 mg in the AM and 7.5 mg in the afternoon. I am slpwly weaning down off the lorazepam and the biggest thing I needed that drug for was to combat the physical symptoms of anxiety, which the buspar is preventing from happening. I am still getting anxious, like yesterday I kinda had a PSTD attack that tried to happen when I saw two motorcycles riding side by side which is what Jack and I did that fateful day, and normally that sets me off shaking and my stomach drops and I feel like curling up into a ball.

Well yesterday I was able to just go, "No, no, no, go away" and it did! Deep breathing the whole time of course, but not hyperventilating. I am very pleased with the Buspar so far, it's really working wonders for me for both PSTD (which is is used to treat in addition to the anti-anxiety effects) and my out of control anxiety. I still feel anxious but not having the physical symptoms which is GREAT! I can will the anxiety away so much better now. I went three days with no lorazepam and had to take 1/2 of one Sunday to help with stomach twitchieness I attribute to withdrawal. So I will keep working the lorazepam that way for awhile then go down to 1/4 tablet (of a 1 mg tablet) and see how it goes.

I am feeling a lot better and just had to post to let you all know since I was freaking out the last post I made. Doing a LOT better now, if only I can get through the next phases of my 'treatment' for this ovarian mass okay I'll be fine. I am gonna be getting a depopravara (however you spell it) shot when I go in the 6th for the biopsy to make sure I don't end up pregnant and hopefully it will help with the bleeding problems. I am having pain in my sides and not sure if it's because I know now that something is up on that right side and the left is ovulating or what, but it's real pain, sharp twinges...usually when I bend over so I am trying to take it easy. The 6th can't be done and over with soon enough for me...

[Dmom3005]

Pam

Not sure how big your cyst mass is. But I can totally tell you when that is gone it will feel lots better. That is the thing they took out for me when I had my gallbladder out. I had been living with it for over 2 years. It started really small and got bigger and very painful for me. And they thought I was crazy,
it was supposedly still small. Until it was out, and then the OBGYN said, it was
considered bigger than they wanted to leave in. She sure made me feel good
about my pushing to have it out.

I'm so glad you are going to get this out. I'm sending hugs, and thoughts to
you. And glad the burspars, oops can't spell it. Heehee is working.

Donna

[Pamster]

Thanks Donna! I hope to get it out ASAP, no clue on time frame since I have not been referred to the dr yet, but that should happen on the 6th. I can't wait to get it OVER with...

[BJ]

I hope they can get this out quick for you Pam and everything turns out okay. You definitely don't need any more on your plate right now.

[Pamster]

Thanks BJ, How are you doing? Things going better?

Edited to add: Oh BJ, I am so sorry you're going through so much pain, I just read the whole Dear BJ thread and posted, I haven't been able to because of my emotional state as of late before the buspar, but I really want you to know I admire you hun. Thank you for trying to offer me comfort, that's so kind of you.

[bizi]

Dear pammie,
I don't understand about the depoprevara shot?
why risk that?
HOrmones can effect us.
I contribute my first episode with the shot that I had, it made me manic.
now that is jsut me but I would really think hard before having that shot.
jsut my opinion, I will never take hormones..
beth

ps I am so happy to hear that you like the buspar!!!!!!!!

[Pamster]

I used to take hormones as birth control in my younger years and it never affected my mood. They want to make sure I am NOT pregnant when they go to do the surgeries. I have never had Depo before so I just hope it's okay. I really am doing better but I am still pretty emotional about all this. Just not as heavily intensely feeling it like I was before the buspar. The physical symptoms of anxiety were knocking me on my butt and the buspar helps keep that at bay. Thank God for it.

[bizi]

I was 32 when I had my first hospitalizaton, Couldn't they just give you a months dose of the pills, the shot last 3-4 months in you system.
just concerned here and I won;t say anything more about it.
beth

[Pamster]

Maybe I will ask for just that, I have no problem taking meds daily, I could do that...They just want to be sure I am not pregnant after all, not throw me into a manic fit, although this news itself did that...Thanks for bringing it up Beth, really, I hadn't given it much thought, I think I will tell them I have BP II and am worried it will trigger mania when compounded with the procedures I have to go through. :-/

[Mari]

Dear Pam,
It sounds like several things are going on.
Even one would be too many perhaps.
Keep yourself balanced.
And keeping holding on.
Mari