Dear Donna

i am slightly afraid of this woman. and i don't think she will understand. and she may want to know a time frame, which i don't have given that i'm not moving in any direction right now.... i don't want to talk to her.

i think for the moment i will not call, and hope she doesn't call me. if she does, i'll have to play it by ear.... maybe do as you suggest, without specifying what i'm looking into. just say i have another lead i want to follow up on before i sign up for the training with her. she probably won't ask what it is - she will probably just assume it is in my field, and in an area i don't need to train for.

Dear Bobby

i am sorry you have had such rotten luck with antidepressants. Zoloft has helped me with really bad depression in the past as did Wellbutrin... for bipolar depression. i am afraid the situational component here might be too great. it was worth a try, if it even helps just a little.

i need to start inching forward in some way though. any way i can. i think banking on the Zoloft 100% is a bad idea.




~ waves ~

Dear Waves,
Give the 100mgs the due time you think it needs.
You might get a little umph (knock out some of the dragging) to help you see your way around the situational stuff.

Zoloft can change lives. A step or two up from from how you felt pre-Zoloft might be enough to help you start to get where you are going.

The cool thing is that your pdoc is with you in this. He gets it that the situational is bigger than the Zoloft but he is helping you with your plan for the Zoloft.

M.

i am sorry about my negativity about antidepressants....i hope the zoloft will help you. i can't underplay the situational component. I am not sure what profession you prefer to go into.. i know you are gifted in the other one.
love
bobby

Dear Bobby,

yes, the antidepressant won't fix the situation. the only way it will change is if i do something though. and i have felt too overwhelmed to do anything. i have just dropped everything.

but i was reading through this thread......

the idea was, if the Zoloft could get me feeling enough better to do a little, it might help me to resume and continue doing things to change my situation.

i was thinking that too, in your situation. i guess i was thinking if the Lexapro could help you feel less bad, it would be worth it. because if it even got you moving more, you'd tend to lose weight anyway, and feel even more better. if it didn't work at all, you'd know well within 12 weeks... which is the duration of the clinical trials that show no weight gain. the gain comes in with long term (longer than 12 weeks) use. so i guess i was thinking that the timing would be on your side, as far as giving it a try.

but i also understand that if it is too upsetting it won't be good for you. and i don't know what antidepressants you've tried in the past... i didn't think you'd been on SSRIs. and i knew you were wanting to up the Wellbutrin... the Lexapro would be very similar. so that was my reasoning, just fyi.

~ waves ~

Dear Mari

yes... i looked through this thread to remind myself why i am doing this.

you know, Zoloft did change my life at least once.

before i started treatment with my first psychiatrist, i was planning to off myself. i had decided on method. i was just biding my time, vaguely trying to notice when the maintenance guy came around... to figure out the timing... so as to not get found in time. i was atheist enough not to worry about hell then, and all my family and close friends were tens of thousands of miles away so they weren't going to have to deal with it. that's what i told myself, anyway.

~ waves ~

I am so glad that you are still with us waves...(hugs and kisses)
bizi

Zoloft stopped working for me, but after a long time of being on it continuously.

It has saved me in the past, though. When I went back on it the 2nd time, I was waiting to see results.... About a week after I upped my dose to 75mg I went out to play golf (it has been years now), and I realized I could actually SEE the ball on the tee. After being limp and listless, without focus, for so long it felt amazing.

Increased doses of Zoloft have also helped the frequency and severity of suicidal thoughts.

I understand the avoidance you are experiencing now, as I have often done the same...
1st off, if this lady makes you feel uncomfortable now, she's probably not someone you want to tether yourself to for any length of time anyways. Trust your instinct, but my reply would be based on what kind of a relationship I had with the person.
2nd, if you really have just hitched your star to this other type of gig, at least apply for something. The process usually takes a while, and it would give you a valid reason to avoid working with that lady.

Right now, your plan of action is to rely on zoloft to bring you back from this episode. If you need more intervention later, you can revise your plan then.

It's important to take some kind of action soon. Have some faith in yourself, in the zoloft. Returning to work in a new field may give you added confidence, and make the future look a little rosier.

-Kay

i don't feel up to doing anything.

i am going to try to go to the mall tomorrow with my mom, and i don't feel like doing that.

i cook and i don't feel like doing that either but the vegetables don't judge me so i can get through it. even so yesterday i got really tired, just doing that.

applying/interviewing is like way above that ... i don't feel like i can deal with much interaction right now. my cousin has been asking me to lunch and i finally had to tell her i want to defer because i didn't want to deal with going. supposed to go visit a friend too and i'm not calling her because i can't deal....

this is my 3rd day at 100mg... i think i need to move the Zoloft back to morning though. i think it will be better for sleeping at night. i don't know maybe it won't make a difference in that regard.

i am not noticing anything so far other than another jingle started hammering away in my head.

i have been destroying my cuticles but that started before the Zoloft and it tends to get worse by itself... i need to reel myself in... my hands are as bad as they were when i was a teen.

~ waves ~

I am sorry about you not feeling well.
and I am sorry for your poor cuticles....
maybe a trip to the mall will get you going?
((((HUGS))))
bizi

i think i know how you are feeling.....like a brick wall in front of you...i didn't want to go lunch today but i forced myself and had a nice time....i didn't understand because i was so adverse to going...
bobby