Dear Steve

i used to be around at night (my night, your evening) but i am resetting my hours... i just missed you last night. i'm glad others were here.

good job. it is hard to start with new people, especially when they come and go. but it is the way to go. you explained the current problem, with the hobbies and the equipment pretty well in this post. you can tell him/her what you told us. i also hear a lot of social discomfort, esp with the workers... you not feeling good about yourself.

doesn't your brother own the property? has he told you he wants the equipment down? has he given you any reasons? maybe he is just blowing hot air and is not really that serious?

as for the workers, i grew up with ridicule and i am afraid of it. so i know this fear. but we just have to stand up to it as best we can. those workers surely have their own problems, and may not think about you that much. and they might think completely different things. they may think you're a shy kinda guy. i bet more than a few will be wowed out by all the equipment on the roof!! many things can go on in people's heads. when we don't feel good, we tend to think bad things are going on in others' heads.

remember God loves you just as you are. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might, and love your neighbor as yourself." a friend of mine once pointed this last bit out to me... we are being taught to love ourselves here.

one thing at a time. first work on this imminent thing that is bothering you right now with preserving the hobbies that are your outlet for feeling ok.

i am glad you have been talking to your friend, and i am glad you posted tonight. i will be sending you good thoughts.

~ waves ~

Thank you Waves. It has occured to me that I might have misunderstood what was said to me about the house. I get all emotional,and become a wreck at the slightest thing,especially when it comes to what people say to me.

I found out that I am not only diagnosed with OCD,and panic disorder,but also schizoaffective disorder. I hate the thought of,and sound of this disorder. I'm still on the seroquel,which is for this type of thing. My ear doesn't ring as often as it use to. It helps me to sleep. BF

Dear Friend,

That's good about the Seroquel helping.
Have a good day today.
M.

I was discouraged,and depressed. Now I'm angry. I hope he isn't going to make me take down the back yard lights,my cameras,and my expensive antennas. He wants to put wood sideing on this house out of the blue. I'm bored enough as it is living to far away from any big city,and I don't have friends out here. I use to live in the capital city of my state for most of my life.

My Shortwave hobbie,VHF,and UHF scanner hobbie,and my PTZ camera are my hobbies. Without them,I only have a TV set,and a computer. With nothing to do,I could always go to my Shortwave radio,and dial to see if I could hear whats on the shortwave bands. With the camera I could at least watch the cars go by. With my back yard lights I could at least turn them on when I would go to my car,and see if anyone is out there. One time there was a snake on my porch. Dogs run around this house now,and then.

I wonder if my brother in law is doing this to start the actions to move me to a home,or something. I wonder if he rejects me. Why all of the sudden. My world is getting smaller,and smaller,and I don't like it. It's not my fault that I have these illnesses. My sister,and I are at peace now. I don't know what to do. BF

Dear Friend,
I am happy to hear that you and your sister are in peace with each other.
I don't know what your BIL is up to. Most likely it has nothing to do with you -- maybe he just wants to fix up the house a little in case he ever gets someone to buy it.

I think your equipment is great. It is wonderful that you have found the communication technology that works for you.

'Sending you prayers.

M.

Dear Steve,

i hear that you are feeling your home threatened by these changes.

i agree with Mari that your BIL's thoughts on improving the property probably aren't to do with you. but i understand the fears since you've had difficulties in the past with him.

i don't know about the process of applying wood siding. i guess i don't see how it would require you to take things off the roof. if some wiring has to be moved, then that should be a part of the process - competent people need to be hired to move and ensure it is functional when they are done. the idea seems to be to improve the house, not to trade technology with wood siding.

i remember when you and BIL had a run in before, about the house and rent and whatnot. but it seemed like that got resolved. i think that this can probably get resolved so that his improvements do not impact your hobbies in any way. i am glad you and your sister are at peace. can you relate to her? do you feel she understands you, and your concerns? maybe she can help in dealing with BIL?

i am saying prayers for you too.

~ waves ~

p.s. edited to add: am reading a bit about 'siding' and when to do it ... your BIL may have determined the exterior of the house is deteriorating and needs residing to protect it? if that is the case, it is actually in your interest ... will prevent leaks and damage to your stuff.

hy he is using wood siding when a vinyl siding would be less maintanance that is unless he wants to put up hardi plank which would only be required to be painted once then it lasts a long time. what kind of siding is on there now? are they going to have to remove that is up?
What is so upseting to you is this unknow aspect of what will happen to your stuff. I agree ask your sister to help you thru this process.
I am sorry thta you have to deal with this. I understand you being upset.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Dear BF,

I just wanted to send you and to let you know that I'm sending good thoughts your way.

-Kay

Steve

I too would encourage you to talk to your sister about what is going on.

It may be that even if the stuff needs to be taken down for the siding
to go up. They will put it back up for you.

Donna

I'm not angry now,but I am discouraged,and depressed. The house is old,and has a metal exterior,and it's painted white. It was built in the time frame from 1890,or up to 1910.

I don't want to jeopardize all of our new found peace in the family. Our family,and cousins,and past friends are all linked on Facebook. We are at peace. I don't want to loose my hobbies either,for it helps me to not go up the wall. The hobbies help to divert negative thinking.

The worker should be able to work around the coax,and electric cords that are coming outside my window. I can move one thing that is leaning up against the building. My knees are aching from walking to work for about 14 years. I played soccer,and got a varsity letter. What ever happened I don't know,but my knees hurt.

I can't walk on the roof anymore. One of my antennas is tied down in place,elevated for a good shortwave reception,tied down with many guide wires so the wind won't make it move around. That was a real hard job about four years ago. The hardware of these antennas,and the antennas where very expensive. I wish that I could talk to him like I can talk to you all.

If the workers are good,they should be able to work around my electric,and coax work that is coming out of one square foot of space. BF