My mom has finally come around to seeing the light of day with my/sisters/sons mental issues. Not sure why the light bulb went off- but I'm glad it finally did. There is actually light at the end of the tunnel.

Thinking of you all today. Wishing you all good and happy thoughts! Not feeling the best physically. Very sick but have no choice but to get things done if I like it or not. I'm determined to not let my physical problems ruin my life anymore. Life is too short not too.

I'm setting small goals to get healthy/lose weight. Hopefully my physical problems won't hinder it like it has this past year. Need to lose weight terribly.

Have a great day!! Love you all.... This is a great forum.

Coffeegirl

hi coffee girl.
I am glad that there is some understanding....
You have a good attitude about trying to live your life.
THis is a very healthy approach.
Please join the diet thread if you so wish!
The more the merrier!
bizi

Dear CoffeeGirl,
That's good news about your mother.
I hope you do well with your new goals.
M.

Things with my mental health and my mom are better but the physical stuff- turned into the opposite. Not even sure how to explain it. Mom is visiting sister right now. Sister told me that the neurological/memory/vertigo stuff is a) just an inner ear disorder (which I already know I have- and that is NOT just the reason for the vertigo!) b) that I do NOT have any memory problems- whatsoever (i.e.- I go to the wrong doctor appt. on the wrong day to the wrong doctors office/all the time, walk into rooms and forget why I went there/what I was doing, forget what I am suppose to do even if I write notes down, forget a conversation that I had earlier in the day, etc). On and on.

Sister told me that if I really wanted to get better I would have pushed to get into the specialty hospitals. I have- so has the specialty neurologist. Neither of us have gotten anywhere until a week ago- and finally got an appointment with one of the hospitals. Grrrr... Sister chewed me out for over 45 minutes. Just kept saying 'yeah, uh- huh'- and tried to not get into an argument with her- which is what she usually wants others to do with her. She loves to stir up the pot with anyone and everyone. It is just her nature.

I'm glad to be here. I know you all understand this type of life. It can be very difficult. It makes me feel okay when I sign on every day.

Hugs to you all!

Dear CoffeeGirl,

It sounds like your mother and sister are concerned about you -- even if it does not feel very helpful right now. It is amazing how family members can come up with diagnoses and treatment plans without going to med school.

Is your sister playing the role of the eldest sibling? The one who claims to know what is right for everyone else?

Maybe, don't tell them as much information next time.
My parents don't want to know what is going on with me. Even so, sometimes I tell them just enough information. I might say that I have such and such going on and that I am seeing a doctor who is working on it with me.
One thing about families is that our relationships with family members can evolve over the years -- we can learn to deal with them in a way that is helpful (depends on the family I guess).
I hope that you focus on your self, and mostly ignore their advice (criticism) and suggestions.

M.

Thank you for pointing out what I'm not seeing. You are right- they are concerned- I just was taken back by their way of showing it. If I think of it- that is how they have always been. Sadly, I should have known not to share anything with either of them. Ironically, that is what DH tells me from time to time. Live and learn. I need to learn from all mistakes from the past.

Thank you for the advice Mari.

Hugs

Coffeegirl

Dear Coffeegirl

i am glad your mom is being more understanding and supportive to you. maybe she can help your sister grow in that direction.



~ waves ~

Sadly, my sister will never change. She means well- like Mari said- but has no kooth about doing it in the right manner. She has always been that way. She also has a tendency to be vindictive to others- whenever she is down; which is often. Ironically, I am always there for her- even though she takes me forgranted and has no clue how I have put up with her stuff our entire lives. I wish she would change- but I learned a long time ago- you can't change others- just how we react to them. It has been a long route just to get to that phase of thinking. Live and learn the hard way!

Dear CoffeeGirl,
You have a good approach for dealing with her -- you know she means well but you distant yourself from her stuff.

It seems that you have worked hard to get to this point.

M.

Coffee Girl,

I think we've talked about this before...

I'm so glad that your mom is coming around.

Your sister has her own issues. Sometimes we have to protect ourselves by not discussing medical or very private info with some people. Telling her stuff like that is just going to lure you into her trap again.

I'm so sorry that you aren't doing well physically
It isn't in your head, try to dismiss anyone's opinion of your health problems.

I know I'm cynical, but you have to protect yourself. Find other things to talk about with people who can't or refuse to understand.

Hugs,
Kay