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09-26-2010, 06:55 PM | #1 | |||
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Elder
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There is a situation that developed suddenly. I don't want people to judge me. I feel a great sense of loss. I don't want to be awake. I don't know what to do about this circumstance. I am so tired. BF
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09-26-2010, 07:02 PM | #2 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Dear Steve,
I am sorry that something has happened to you. we're not going to judge you....we all have our issues. post what ever you want to/need to.... we will listen. ((((hugs)))) bizi
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. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
09-26-2010, 07:20 PM | #3 | ||
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Legendary
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Steve
Bizi is totally correct, we are here for each other. Now I just wish my c on my computer was here for me. Donna |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
09-26-2010, 07:44 PM | #4 | |||
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Elder
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One of the ways that I try to feel better is to divert the bad thoughts,and throw myself into my hobbies. I have alot of antenna hardware on the roof above me. It took a great deal of work,and money. At the time that I put these antennas up for my Shortwave,VHF,and UHF hobbie,I had the money.
I think that the person who owns this house wants me to take them down. This goes for my back yard lights,and cameras. One of these cameras is like a window for me because I have a monitor attached to it,and I like to look at it. I don't feel so alone with that camera,and monitor. I haven't felt like this since I went to the Wellness hospital last fall. I feel a deep sence of loss,and discouragement. I don't know why I feel so bad. I have no laughter,and no peace. I don't even have a counsellor. The other one retired. I just have such a bad feeling,and problems on top of problems. It's like it's the last straw,but worse things can happen. I don't know why I feel so bad. I should have gone to church today,and then gone to the grocery store. I didn't go anywhere,and I don't feel like going anywhere. They are putting a new siding on this building. The workers might judge me because I'm upset,and worried about my hobbie antennas,and I don't have a job. They don't know my circumstances,but will probably hear gossup about me. I'm on SSD. I feel just really bad. My knees also are injured due to where,and tare from the sports that I played back in school,and at work when I had a job. I can't work on that roof to take the antennas down. I may fall because of my knees condition. I feel like a dark cloud has moved over me. I just keep thinking about this,and can't get it out of my mind. I don't feel like going anywhere,or doing any thing. I don't feel like being awake. BF |
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09-26-2010, 07:47 PM | #5 | |||
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Legendary
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Dear Friend,
Can you reach out to someone in real life? Someone at church? Another counselor? Let your pdoc know what is happening. M. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
09-26-2010, 08:03 PM | #6 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Dear STeve,
try not to worry about what the workers think about you....they are there to do a job and mind their own business....and you can certainly tell them that if it comes to that. I am glad that you have a hobby. I do feel sorry to hear about your depression, I thought you had a counselor.....wish you had one now. keep posting, we are listening. bizi
__________________
. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
09-26-2010, 08:17 PM | #7 | |||
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Elder
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Quote:
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09-26-2010, 08:09 PM | #8 | |||
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Elder
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I think I can talk to the new counsellor. I wouldn't know where to begin though. I feel uncomfortable with the way counsellors are coming,and going in the State Region 10 facility in this county. They where over billing me,and I just got that straight.
I have a sinus/bronchial problem,teeth problem with the gritting of my teeth,one of my eye's is getting blurred. I'm feeling small lumps on the left side of my body. My knees are hurting. I wish that I had parents again. My dad is still alive,but he's in a nursing home. I thank you all for resonding so quickly. I have been so quiet resently. I haven't felt like talking very much,except to my friend who lives near the Gulf of Mexico. BF |
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09-27-2010, 02:59 AM | #9 | |||
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Legendary
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Dear Steve
i used to be around at night (my night, your evening) but i am resetting my hours... i just missed you last night. i'm glad others were here. Quote:
doesn't your brother own the property? has he told you he wants the equipment down? has he given you any reasons? maybe he is just blowing hot air and is not really that serious? as for the workers, i grew up with ridicule and i am afraid of it. so i know this fear. but we just have to stand up to it as best we can. those workers surely have their own problems, and may not think about you that much. and they might think completely different things. they may think you're a shy kinda guy. i bet more than a few will be wowed out by all the equipment on the roof!! many things can go on in people's heads. when we don't feel good, we tend to think bad things are going on in others' heads. remember God loves you just as you are. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might, and love your neighbor as yourself." a friend of mine once pointed this last bit out to me... we are being taught to love ourselves here. Quote:
Quote:
~ waves ~ |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
09-26-2010, 07:44 PM | #10 | |||
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Legendary
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Dear Friend,
I'm sorry about the loss. It is good that you came here. Mari |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Brokenfriend (09-26-2010), OhKay (09-28-2010) |
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