[Brokenfriend]

I was thinking about a situation in bed early Wednesday morning,and I became overwhelmed. I resisted the thought,and gained control of my sanity about 5,or 6 times. I became agitated. I almost freaked out. I thought that this situation could be my imagination. I think that I have a little cabin fever.

That's what it turned out to be,my imagination. It seemed so possible. So real. Before that,it was as big as a mountain,and was like a storm of worries about one thing. What torment. This happened when I was on my medications. I don't skip doses. If I did,it would have been worse.

Some times my thoughts about the future are just imaginations. They seem so real. So dreadful. I guess they are fear combined with my OCD. I hate this fear of the future. If I think about these things they get bigger,and bigger. I was able to break up some of it by thinking as rationally as I could,but the thoughts kept coming back,then I tried to settle my thoughts down again. It could have been worse,but I made it through the night. I wonder why this happens. Chemical imbalances that stew over a period of months??? BF

[Mari]

BF,

Sometimes in an emergency situation I can wash my hands or my face and bring me back or calm myself down.

I let the water run over my hands and talk to myself in a calm way.

Have you ever tried that?


Do you have something similar?

Mari

[Mari]

BF,

I touch stuffed animals when I am freaking out.

I have this one in blue and the sister in light purple.
I like them because they are small, soft, and floppy.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/ADORABLE-LAM...item19ed577061

http://www.amazon.com/Multipet-Plush...ords=lamb+chop

(I do not have real pets so I hold these two.
And these are not as plush as expensive as some other ones.
And you have your real cats.
I just thought that i would mention this.

Mari

[Brokenfriend]

Mary. Thank you. I haven't tried those things yet. Good ideas!!!

My imaginations started right after I went to bed. I fought the thoughts over,and over. I came to think of what a call points of clarity when I'm clear. I'll think of it unless I become utterly absorbed with the imagination,and say this is not really going to happen. It's my imagination. Then a little later I'll think of another,or a second point of clarity,or rational thought before it becomes foggy in my mind again. I came to about 5 points of clarity,and the OCD weakened. I was able to sleep. The meds help me with these imaginations. Tormenting thought patterns. (Awful)

At one time a long time ago I was thinking of going through some type of operation on my brain to cut that part. That's how bad it can get. I hate the imaginations where I think the other people are thinking this,and I plan to handle it a certain way. These thoughts originated from abuse.

I use to have these waking nightmares on the way to work where I'd walk in the door,and get fussed at,or even screamed at. Bosses have done this to me. They where horrible.

School doesn't prepare us for a life of this. It's horrible,and the misunderstanding of the people around us are terrible. It's terrible when they know that you are troubled,and they will try to trouble you even more. This happened allot in school.

Horrible!!!

There are no words to tell anyone the depth of these kinds of torments. BF

[bizi]

I am sorry friend, you deserve peace and tranquility.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Mari]

Before I go out of the house I have to practice in my mind how the day is going to go.
I do this several times and I say it aloud.


. . . .kind of like Olympic Athletes use their minds to picture each of their steps.


Olympians Use Imagery as Mental Training

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/23/sp...ning.html?_r=0

“I would say into the recorder: ‘I’m standing on the top of the hill. I can feel the wind on the back of my neck. I can hear the crowd,’ ” Cook said. “Kind of going through all those different senses and then actually going through what I wanted to do for the perfect jump.

The United States brought nine sports psychologists, including five for its ski and snowboard program.

I think a lot of us could benefit from the expertise of those sports psychologists.

M