[mymorgy]

i have been so emotionally exhausted and I guess depressed. I have been dressing my friend's bedsore for almost a month now and was depressed before that because of the holidays. I have saved him almost four thousand dollars because otherwise he would have to have a visiting nurse in each day and get charged 145 dollars a visit. I had a major breakthrough. I didn't feel good about myself doing this for Ron. I finally figured out I don't feel good because it still hasn't completely healed..There is now still bruising but the wound is closed. For me to feel good about myself, I have to be successful and otherwise I just feel so much anxiety etc. When I was five I started being the caretaker for my father who started to drink heavily and continued to do so. I was the hero. My doctor just pointed out that I wasn't successful
because he kept on drinking. As a child I must have felt as if I was holding the world together and if I didn't take the responsibility the earth would come crashing down. Mix that with being bipolar....anxiety to the moon
Bobby