[waves]

i don'tknow what's goign to happen
bt the other girl called the consultant boss coz yeasterdy my boss and i got into it again and i - having learned that sticking to guns can be key, have doen so... well but it degraded when i did not realize and suddenly he was being aggressive about the software deadline again like implications on my duties etc and i try to keep il lokey with replies like 'well i'm working on your stuff here, i'm not sitting here watching tv' but

afterthe fight

i was shaking from top to bottom.
i put my hands on the desk to stop from being ovious
could not think
furious

i spare you all the inbetweens and the amount of drugs and alcohol i've put down - mostly benzos and alkie in combo at times.

today i was barely past catatonic getting to work. my sleep med makes me feel peaceful , but this morning, i had sobs in my breath.

they "talked to me" today....................

they are going to "talk to my boss" tomorrow................

i actually thought about having a "heart-to-heart" with my boss................... may be risky. but also feels "honest."

i dunno. blatant honesty when not required has gotten me fired in teh past.