i sorta feel that way. i have not been using lorazepam or even halves because i'm afraid of being too slowed down. maybe i need to take more lorazepam. or ask him for the 1mg ... i have 2.5's and if you take a whole one after the nerves chill it can get pretty sedating... never can predict is the problem.
you remind me i need to get back on my vitamins and magnesium. i have magnesium citrate... well a powder blend you add to hot water to make it.

Di...i cannot do this. and my head literally SWARMS with stuff... from work, home, personal, at work, at home, whenever...
i am going to try this. i am not sure if i can stay focused on the one process enough to get through it. but i'll try.

thank you for your sweet thoughts and all the suggestions.

~ waves ~

Waves

Remember i'm talking about epilepsy drugs. And depakote is one.

I can't tell you for sure if its one that causes this. But it is one
that causes all kinds of interesting things.


I can't remember if my middle son had problems with sleeplessness
with depakote ER. I'm going to have to think on this one.

Donna

Dear Donna

i think talking about running out of a med that i mostly used for sleep confused things. my concern here is not so much ending up sleep deprived. i am concerned that since my cocktail seems to be functioning only barely, removing ANY SINGLE ONE of my meds right now could result in mania, esp as i can't taper i dont' have neough. ALL of the meds i take are calming meds.

I took Depakote myself for years and it never caused me sleeplessness before, no reason to think it should now.

on the flip it does deplete specific nutrients for which i normally take supplements so i must indeed remember to resume that. doing that might help the overall situation.


~ waves ~

That is good idea Waves.

The herbs and vitamins might help a lot.

Donna

Hi Waves,
Im sorry your havinga setbback.We all have them and it's very average.

My advice would be to use the tools I gave you from Dr. Abraham Low.

If you can reason the tools will help you get back on your feet.

Best,
John

well crap.

i just realized i wasn't on my FIRST box of Depakote 500 & 300. i am OUT of 500's TOTALLY!!!! and i only have enough 300's for tonight tomorrow and monday.... IF i stretch it. (take 1050mg instead of 1300).

this means:
1. must call gp for appointment between 8.30 & 9.30 am, and not from work.
2. must make it out of work and to appointment on time and remember to bring my labs.

the pharmacy will be closed by then - i hope i can get it filled tuesday... they should have at least one of the two in stock.

and to boot, i only had 3 of my regular benzo's left.

HOW DO I GET INTO THESE MESSES??????????????

i need to come up with some system. when i finish a box i immediately check if there is another box, if not, i stick a sticky someplace. or in a text file with the date on my laptop desktop. or something!!!!!

i have lorazepam and i had to order the other benzo tonight - mom will get that tomorrow, so that will at least be something.

argghhhhhhhhhh!!!!! geeez i am out of official and unofficial everything!!!

got some beer but....

~ waves ~ who isn't having the mag tonight because i don't feel like making it. i do wish they would make it a pill form.

Dear Waves,
Oh Gee. That is worrisome.

I hope you can get your script / refill Depakote and the benzo.

Good luck Monday.

M

No no no no! Not too much to ask!

Like Donna, I see in you "a very dynamic, savy woman," the kind who says things like annoise me. Hee-hee. Love it. Seriously funny. Normal.... Peaceful.... Certainly, such "ordinary" things ought to be within reach for such a woman.

I'm not sure I even know what "normal" is tho.

With all the meds you take, I can't help but wojnder how much of what you go thru is caused by side effects & interactions. Wish it were possible for you to detox completely.... I know, it's not.

But I know why you hate it, even tho it helps. I'm still new to the bi-polar dx. At first the drug was magic! Now, not so much. Side effects, & some days it's like I didn't take it. I'm just beginning to discover the manic me & have nothing to defend against it--nothing so far works. So....love\hate.

I've read the thread from "chaos" thru "oh boy.... " so I'll probably bounce around. I'm pretty beat up this week too. Hope I can make sense.

Do be very caution of melatonin. You are right, it's advised just shortterm to adjust inner clock of travelers; megadoses are used by oldsters but really not recommended. I've had 2 acquaintances end up with serious liver trouble because they'd take as much as 15 mg a night to get some sleep.

Have you ever used Bach floral essences? They used the principals of homeopathics but even massive doses aren't poison. There's 1 mix called Rescue Remedy. It's designed for the state you describe: irritable, tired, restless--unable to sleep. Don't think they specify irascible. They have a website. It worked for me for years. Sadly, guess I've used up my life quotient .

The noise thing I've had some experience with, thought different from yours. I have tinnitus (too many R&R bands) & the less background noise the more tinnitus. Depending on I-don't-know-what, my brain will turn this into the sounds of distant rebellious/angry crowds or discordant distant musical-ish noise. I can't usually go around with headphones (need to be conversation-ready), so I've learned to meditate. It's what Mari wrote, but I don't use the literal message--I'm happy to achieve simple noise cancellation. I set a piece of music or any set sound, e.g. poetry, on a loop. It's got to be something I can tolerate! It's sorta the principle of that tune you can't get out of your head....but I don't want to get it out. It keeps wiping things clean. I like it best with a musical phrase, no lyrics. Words are what I'm usually trying to get away from.

I'm afraid I am laughing (nervously) reading about your "getting really really really up on a high horse and quitting my job because someone or something ****** me off (AGAIN... it would be the THIRD time )" -- OMG THAT'S ME! Well, I haven't quit recently, but only because I'm 65 now & nobody here's getting work so what are the odds I'm gonna find another job at my age NONE 2 ZERO .

Is a trip necessary, if it adds to the stress? Just not having to go to work might be vacation enough, enough of a break. I worry about all these opposites you feel, like whirlwind & stuck. Getting aggressive isn't good. It can't feel good. Maybe if you could take those 2wks & keep them as stress free as possible, it might be overall more refreshing.

Oh, yes, it makes sense. The suicidal thoughts too. I'm glad you say "not intent." But of course you want it to stop. If you didn't, that would be....

....okay, now, let's say this together, shall we?

If you didn't want it to stop, that would be CRAZY!


love & hugs

thank you Mari.

basically if i remember to call the doc in the 8.30-9.30 window i will be ok. then mom will go to the pharmacy and pick up the meds i already have scripted, and pick up the Depakote script from the doc. if i miss the call window, the Depakote gets pushed forward and i'll be out a day, meaning two meds skipped....

aha! i remembered i could add it to my cellphone agenda with alarm option for time i should be on the bus... pre work.

i started to get really growly tonight despite the fact i have been knocked have silly today by wicked migraine and hefty med doses for it after morning in pain. i slept a lot of the afternoon after lunch. hopefully that will help even if i don't make quota tonight.

off i go.... i think i need to post my post-it on my backpack.

~ waves ~

Waves

Good luck remembering.

I have no clue on how to remember, I have this same problem.

Double, mine and Derrick's meds.

Donna