Dear Mari

yes. staying on medication is important. i had some 300's of the Depakote so i was getting most of my dose, but i was running out of those too...

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Dear Bizi

stress test is this thursday, the 19th, at 9.20 am. that's a 6 am wakeup time for me.

and here i am 4 days before my stress test, up at 4 am.... can't sleep. totally blowing away the early bedtimes from the past couple weeks that i managed to maintain, in view of this stupid test. my mother said well if it's that much stress just cancel it... oh well it's paid for. like "just throw our money away." thanks a lot mom, that really helped reduce my stress level.

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Dear Majo

it is not uncommon to have some side effects like that with a dosage change but they are likely transitory.

i have not had bouts of tiredness like that again. need to check my bp next few days, but i would have noticed had it gone that low again - it hasn't. therapeutic effect can take 2-4 weeks after target dose reaches steady state.

i have gotten sick. some of the tiredness may have been the stupid virus incubating although it would seem like a long time. or i might have been fighting things off in general before getting sick. there have been colds and parainfluenzas going around like mad.

thank you all for your support dear friends.



~ waves ~

Yikes!
I missed that you were "clear out."

When I am in charge of the world, our meds will be delivered to us at a convenient time of day.

Well .... anyway. . .I am happy you have your meds.


The day was horrible due to the virus and to the tension. Has it worked out for you that you have your own space that is free of tv news?

M

i think that is one of being bipolar's main problems =having no defenses and the inability to fight off the negative in the environment. i haven't found a solution. last night i was on the phone with a friend and after a while i became so anxious. I finally had to get off the phone. the night before a friend dropped over and was talking about death and his possible death...it left me so low...i had no weapons to fight it. isolation doesn't work either.
right now you aren't feeling well so everything is compounded. how can you be more gentle to yourself. that is a hard one. i hope the virus flies away
love
bobby

thanks everyone.

Dear Bizi
there may have been a time when i had better boundaries, believe it or not. i think back to certain times and i certainly feel like i had more of an identity. remember when i became overwhelmed by work, and before i started taking the zoloft i was feeling empty inside... like i had lost myself... i think this came from absorbing other people's emotions and energies, indiscriminately and without knowing it - at work... it was a condensed environment, with many people. that's different than "simple" stimulus bombardment which was the original hypothesis.

so this is not specific to my parents, and i can look back and see similar problems with other emotionally intense situations. my mother has her own issues and is particularly difficult for me to be around. when i find my feelings changing, i am practicing trying to intervene with my mind, to help me sort things out. securing emotional boundaries is essential; shields are a step further and i will need to learn those too.


Dear Bobby,
i think the bipolar certainly compounds this emotional sponge thing, but i don't know that absorbing energies/emotions is inherent in bipolar. being bipolar almost surely makes it harder to control and probably accentuates it too. thank you for your well wishes. i hope you feel better too.

i hope you are feeling better too.


Dear Mari

i can't wait. you have my vote!!!

the virus was fun... compared to the fighting and tension. that's what was really horrible. that's how i ended up crying for an hour. i ended up with a new migraine today, probably because of that too.
that didn't come without repercussions. they resent it. i feel their resentment. when i am well i sometimes do dishes and tell them they can stay and watch the news while i do that. but with some cooking mom insists on doing the dishes herself... i've lost enough arguments to make it not worth trying.

~ waves ~

Waves,
I hope that Tuesday goes better for you. I don't know how you can get way from tension like that except getting out to be with nature or with other people.
. . . Maybe sleep or getting absorbed in something.

M

Yes honey but some side effects are worse than others and some dont even deserve a try, specially if the medicine is not working as we need too. You now, like pros vs cons...

That's why I ask... is zoloft working or not even ?? Do you feel better taking it ?? Do you like that med ??

Sorry if this has been answered or posted before... hehe, my mind is worse than those tephlon plates and cant retain anything... LOL

Hope you are better today ?? Silly virus. I want to slap them all in the face... ! I mean, in their nasty genetic material

Lots of hugs for you !!!

Have a good rest (virus hate that), eat well, drink well and take care !

Dear Waves,
I hope you are feeling better today.
The news of the ship wreck is everywhere here, hoping that the fuel doesn't leak into the waters.Are you guys being bombarded with that news?
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Dear Majo

i know what you mean. some AD's i can't go near with a ten foot pole.

but i know Zoloft. Taken it lots of times over more than a decade. i do well with it. the side effects do not last. thanks for the concern. i was feeling better, just not enough. it will take time for the dosage increase to help, and there are limits to what meds can do. there is also room to increase it more if need be.

Dear Bizi

i don't watch the news period except weather. i hear of things yes. i really don't want to talk about this, ok?



~ waves ~

Sorry waves for mentioning this....I was not thinking.
please forgive me.
bizi

Dear Bizi

no prob. i am just awake again after falling asleep right before the movie... sigh. now i am like, not sleepy but i will have to sleep again soon. i was still dragging today but i did drag myself to pdoc's and it was a good session. more about that later.... perhaps. i am doing sorta better but still sniffly and sneezy and coughy. the mack truck feeling has mostly gone. i feel more tired in general is all.

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stupid virus wise, geez, this thing can't decide to go. seems like just a cold but i don't know if i had a temp as most of the early days i had it, i was on NSAIDs for migraine. then i had another migraine from the crying bout - and more NSAIDS yesterday and today. in between, i've sometimes felt like i do when i start to get a fever, but the thermometer said i was fine.
who knows. i will be continuing the echinacea at the acute therapy dosage until after the stress test...

...which is the next thing on the charts. tomorrow i don't need to go out, so i have to re-find the clothes i packed for treadmill last time (should be stuffed in closet somewhere... can you say needle-in-haystack?) and lay out what i am going to wear to get there. it will be in the 20's when i leave for the doc's BRRRRRRR.

~ waves ~