Waves,


I appreciate how stressful the job was. You do a good job describing exactly what was happening.

M

Hello,
My name is Carol. I am a mother of a son who has bipolar, refuses to take meds. He is not living at home, but he is also a drug addict, alchol (sp) sorry user, and a thief. He stole $3800. from me then only to find out one day later he had gotten fired from his job...for...stealing. Oh, I forgot to tell you he is also a casino addict. The saddest part is is how smart he is...it is unbelieveable how smart he is if he would apply himself, but I belueve he is too sick to do anything right. Not an excuse but the reason. I am trying to find the strength to find my way thru this...do I let the law handle it? The medical system won't let me commit him and if he was threat to himself it would only be a 92 hr hold. Wow....I am his mother I am suspose to prtecthim...and yet the cycle keeps on going....I guess this is where the tough love comes in ..huh? I am a ACOA Adult Child of Alcholics x 2 both of my parents were. I am semi normal lol I have alot of issues of my own but all i want is my son to get well and yet afraid to make the wrong decision...what if he is in jail and gets victimized? Could I ever forgive myself..I doupt it. I don't know who needs help more me or him....I'm grasping for straws... grasping to stay alive because at this point to not be able to feel anything would be such a welcome.....tks for listening I've probley already said more than I should have. aka totallylost

I do know what you are going through with your son. Though mine is different circumstances, it is equally hard being a mother. I don't know how to help my son eithor. He is 37 and in the worst possible depression. I don't know why this happened to him eithor. When we are parents of troubled children it effects our lives so very much. My hands are tied, as even committing him for 92 hours isn't going to do very much in the way of breaking this cycle of horrors. It sounds like you are having much trouble with emotional issues, drinking issues etc. I am so sorry you and I have to go through this, and stand by and watch our children not be happy and well adjusted. Every waking hour I have, I wonder what I can do. I imagin you do the same, and question everything you did too. I wish there were answers for the both of us, regarding how to help our adult children. I will keep you in my thoughts Carol, because I do know what it is like to have this kind of trouble. I hope your son and my son can find their way back to life and be fulfilled. ginnie

Dear Ginnie,

Bizi started a thread for TotallyLost (aka Carol) to keep things together for her. Here is the link to the thread:

Dear TotallyLost

i hope it's ok that i copied/quoted your post into that thread. it has your name in it... it is clear that it is not from me. but if you prefer, you can repost to Carol's thread yourself, and i'll delete my post with the quote. let me know if you want me to do that.

(((hugs)))

~ waves ~

sure it is OK to move post for carol. I don't mind at all. I am glad you are here to help us keep this straight for the posts. thanks ginnie

My oh my, I think it was very brave of you to tell her you are bipolar II. I don't see it as something you "should" or "should not" have done, so much as a personal choice based comfort, safety, etc.. Are you feeling now, that you shared more than you are comfortable with, and regret it? If that's so, well... I've been there, and I am sorry.

On the other hand, I really appreciate your "urge" to tell people about your bipolar, and wanting to fight the stigma. It also makes sense that it can be an explanation for your former behavior. In general, it also allows you to share with people more freely, without having to skirt around certain things.

I will say that I would feel much more comfortable sharing about bipolar if I did not have to worry about jobs - it's a small small world. As it is I am not all that comfortable with some of my relatives knowing, especially those in my area, who could have interactions with potential employers. Here the stigma about psychiatric conditions is extremely high. Often people who have sx go untreated because the entire family is in denial. I have suspicion this is the case for at least one cousin. There are also a couple of other relatives I believe have possible disorders. By being the first to share, I hoped to open communication lines for anyone else that might have similar problems, partly to destigmatize, partly to find out if there were familiarity and for which problems, and partly to say "hey I have these problems - if you have similar ones and your family turns a blind eye, you can talk to me."

Anyway, I say bravo, and I hope you don't suffer repercussions from it. That would be a pity but it would speak for the others not for you.

Ah - something to add to your list of likable qualities, even if it can be difficult, it is a wonderful quality:

"I am brave."

much love and praise

~ waves ~

p.s. sorry about the eating too much yesterday. today is another day. we get to start anew... (((hugs)))

thank you so much for your very kind post and calling me brave rather than foolish. my sister didn't tell my nephews i was bipolar which i think was bad because it is genetic. I think a warning is important. i guess i might speak to dr.m. about telling and see what he has to say.
thank you again for your support
love
bobby

LoL Not at all... You are brave. If you feel "foolish"... question that feeling. Is more of a feeling awkard?... foolish involves judgement... awkward does not. Are you combining a judgement with a feeling? You don't need to answer me ... or even yourself... you can just ask yourself the question and let it sit.

I agree it would be important to share with your nephews that you are bipolar. Are they adults? I would say it is their mother's choice until they are adults. After that, there is nothing wrong with telling them yourself. As a courtesy, I would talk to your sister first, and tell her how you feel about it, and that you want them to know. She might come around and decide to tell them herself. If she does not, at least she will know that you are going to tell them... She won't fall over backwards should they then go to her with questions about you. Just my thoughts.

Good idea to see what Dr. M. says.

love

~ waves ~

Bobby

I agree with Mari' You are very much Brave.

And its great to be able to share that you are Bi-Polar II. Personally I
wouldn't remember the differences between I and II so I would just
get the Bi-Polar part.

But I also think its important to have family know . It runs very much
in my family. So its very important that my niece and nephews know.

But we haven't tried to explain to the younger ones yet. But they will
know as they get older. My grandchildren under 10 do not know yet
either.

Donna

Hugs to you tonight.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi