[waves]

hi

i've had 3 anxiety attacks in 2 days requiring lorazepam. the one this evening was closer to a panic attack - i felt like i couldn't get out of it that it was going to last forever etc etc etc....

my mom says my Zoloft causes more anxiety. could be, but...

i say it's primarily the NEWS.

(holiday pressures don't help, but i think it's mostly the news.)

recently i've had over-exposure to "heavy" news regarding the economic upheavals in europe. my folks watch in this room and i have nowhere to go. previously we had another tv, they did things different, and one way or another i avoided it. also they didn't watch it as avidly when there wasn't this huge crisis ongoing.

this evening, after my 2nd anxiety/panic attack, i told my mother, flat out:

"i cannot watch news. any news. none. i cannot take it. i never tolerated it well, but now i just can't."

she said they will figure it out so they watch in their room now. i said there are other anxiety triggers but that was a big one and it was all i could think of for now. she said ok.

i've started feeling generally anxious all the time, so i'm going to raise the nightly dosage of my long acting benzo. hopefully that will help me overall and i might be less sensitive.

~ waves ~

[ginnie]

I am sorry you are having anxiety attacks. I truely understand some of it. Even without emotional issues, the world is a mess. Listening to the news is disturbing. This little blue planet has enough troubles going on to make anyone a bit scared. I notice how upset I get sometimes watching what is on our news stations. Just for your own heart, don't watch for awhile. Just give it a break, and try not to think about the scarry stuff. You have friends here to support you. I care about you too. Listen to something soothing that you like to hear, or dive into a book to escape. I am here any time you need to talk. There is good just coming back here to be with us. ginnie

[bizi]

I am sorry that you have been having such anxiety. I am glad that you finally were able to tell your parents that you can't watch the news. What a relief that must have been.
sorry you are going thru this.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[DiMarie]

Gosh Waves that is a rough day, sorry to be affecting you like that. I know I can not take a few meds they induce anxiety, even chest pains or racing. The one is Compazine, the other is anything for a migraine.
It is a terrible feeling to experiance and hope it goes away soon.
di

[waves]

Ginnie,

i am a semi-guest, it isn't totally up to me. i do not have my own room, i live in the living room.

i asked for what i needed. i hope she remembers and they will be accomodating.

earplugs aren't always sufficient and i don't always want to listen to music-over-earplugs right then. how would a book help when i can still hear the stupid television.

i suggested to mom that i go in their (empty) room, while they are watching in here. that seemed less disruptive to me. i could play/sing in there, or just wait, or read, or watch something else on their tv, and she could go back and forth to the kitchen. but she said NO, that they would go in there. whatever.

i have to go with whatever they say.

i do not have the option of moving out.

~ waves ~

[waves]

Thanks all of you, for your supportive words, and compassion.

Bizi...

yes it has been a long time coming... i have hinted... and hinted hard. but i never said it flat out point blank like that. this time though she had just seen me go through a panic attack where i went and clung to her for dear life bawling and shaking (i was afraid to be alone - i wanted to say make it stop but i couldn't talk intelligibly). soon after i settled down enough is when i said it. and i think maybe at that point she had her ears more open than usual.

my dad wants non-drug solutions. he said he saw some signs for nearby yoga classes and asked if i'd be interested. i said yes depending where they were etc. he said he will try to get information for me. that is probably one of the most helpful things my dad could do, in terms of contributing to my therapy. i hope he finds something. i don't get around enough to find things. i told him tai chi also. but i think yoga would be better (closed-room).

~ waves ~

[waves]

DiMarie...

thansk for the kind words. this week has been a blowout between migraines and now this.

so you think... maybe... it could be to do with the Zoloft?

i've taken it lots before... much higher doses. but then again these past 2 years i've had different sx from it. so perhaps it is worth questioning.

by "anything for a migraine" ... do you mean triptans - like Imitrex or Zomig or Maxalt?

triptans are serotonergic agents, as is Zoloft. they act in totally different ways, but they all increase serotonin levels in the brain.

Generally Zoloft helps reduce anxiety, but it can induce it. i wasn't feeling a high anxious level a while back, and i've been on it for months now, so maybe it isn't that. however when i see him i will bring it up. maybe it is multiple factors.

also thanks for the heads up on the triptans (if that is what you meant???) because at some point, i did want to try and see if i can try them ... with the migraines more frequent now, NSAIDs are going to kill my GI tract eventually.

~ waves ~

[Mari]

Originally Posted by waves

yes it has been a long time coming... i have hinted... and hinted hard.

Originally Posted by waves

where i went and clung to her for dear life bawling and shaking (i was afraid to be alone - i wanted to say make it stop but i couldn't talk intelligibly). soon after i settled down enough is when i said it. and i think maybe at that point she had her ears more open than usual.

Waves,

They can move the tv (or as you suggested, move you to another room).

They can handle this. It is not a big sacrifice for them to move the tv to another room to accommodate your need not to hear news or whatever garbage they turn on. It might feel like a big deal to you because you are dealing with panic and anxiety.

This sounds awful for me to say it but I am glad in a way that your mother got to witness /experience your panic attack. There is no way to describe panic attacks to even very sympathetic listeners. Now that the attack has freaked her out a little I can hope for you that you can see changes.

I think it is wonderful that your father is going to check out yoga and Tai Chi for you. I stayed away from Tai Chi because it looks harder to me because of the standing poses and the greater emphasis on mental focus. Yoga works better for me because I don't have to pay attention as much as I would doing Tai Chi. .. .not trying to get off topic here . .. . perhaps the fact that Tai Chi would be such a challenge for me, means that I should work on that instead of yoga.
Anyway, your father can be helpful to you and I find that wonderful.

Please please be ok.
Stay safe. If it helps to post, give us updates.

M

[bizi]

This sounds so awful dear waves, I am sorry.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[waves]

thanks Mari

they wouldn't even have to move any tv - there is a tv in their room, and 2 in here. 1 in here is still KO because it doubles as the computer monitor and my dad removed the decoder coz he said it made the computer crash. (it has now, as predicted by ME, started crashing again, sans decoder! HA!) we have only 2 rooms though. theirs, and the living room. this is not a big place.

i figure if dad has a game on then he needs his room because he can only get the game on that tv. but for news, if they want to sit and watch together in the living room, i could go in their room. i thought they preferred to be in here, or why else have they been doing it?
well... whatever.

all i really care about is having enough doors between me and the news-tv that i cannot hear it. i am willing to use earplugs in addition but they won't block the sound in the same room.

i am still feeling sort of wobbly but i really can't take any more stuff. i didn't take extra meds tonight because of how much lorazepam i'd taken - a total of 7.5 mg within 24 hours. so i will bump the other benzo tomorrow night after the lorazepam level drops off a good bit.

------------

i have only had one - maybe two - panic attacks before. i say maybe 2 because the second i thought of as protracted anxiety (2 days), but it was so intense throughout and drove a paranoid state that now i wonder, if the term might not apply. no matter. whatever it was was horrible.

i really feel for ppl with panic disorder who have lots of these things and fear they are having a heart attack or something. i feel lucky that i recognize anxiety, but on occasion i guess my mind spins out and plays other tricks on me... i've felt i couldn't escape a hostile place, or (this time) that feelings of terror would never stop, or that someone was out to hurt/kill me (the 2 day episode). only in retrospect do i see the loss of lucidity that suggests "panic attack" as a more appropriate term rather than "acute anxiety."

thanks for listening.

i want to see my pdoc/tdoc desperately!!!!
we have an appointment wednesday. i hope that nothing happens that we have to cancel this one, too or then it will skip to January!!!



~ waves ~