[katmae]

why is it that know mater your childer get every thing that gose wrong in there lives is some how your fault? **** I don't even see them but every other Sunday for dinner I do not interfer with there lives ever!so why is it always my falt?

[Mari]

Hi,

Probably they have not had as much counseling as we have. Some of us have spent decades in and out of therapy. -- that was my long answer

Maybe tell them to grow up and go to counseling. -- that was my short answer

I am sorry that you have to deal with that. I have to teach Hubby that no one is ever to blame. Things happens and people can learn to deal with it.

M

[katmae]

Originally Posted by Mari

Hi,

Probably they have not had as much counseling as we have. Some of us have spent decades in and out of therapy. -- that was my long answer

Maybe tell them to grow up and go to counseling. -- that was my short answer

I am sorry that you have to deal with that. I have to teach Hubby that no one is ever to blame. Things happens and people can learn to deal with it.

M

It probably would not be so stressing if I even knew what the hell I was sapose to do about something that happend when I was not even there

[Dmom3005]

It totally wouldn't




I can totally relate.

But just tell them, it would be fine if they would like to pay all your
bills the next time they want to complain. That will shut them
up for at least 5 minutes.

They will then have a new complaint. Then at least you will
know what is wrong.

Donna

[Ms manic]

You hit a soft spot with me, a couple of my kids are drama queens too.

One of mine got mad at me because his younger brother was allowed to do something he hadn't been allowed to do. I said, "I grew up. It's your turn."

Most of my kids stopped blaming me for life when they started having kids of thier own. I tell them that if they're going to be mad at someone, be mad at Mama cause I'll forgive them. Makes them feel foolish and they quite it.

I once thought that women had to do something terrible to be the Mother-in-law of legend but I was wrong. You just have to breathe. Endure.

It's your house. They're lucky kids to have a mom that wants them over for dinner twice a month. They're still alive and you're still alive so it could have been worse.

You may have noticed that I'm not real touchy-feely about this kind of stuff. It sounds like we have a family at war but we really don't. We are all very close, I just don't put up with a lot of garbage from people who come to visit me. And I learned a long time ago not to take sides if there is an issue with the married ones.

Hope your next visit is a better one. Nobody can break your heart like one of your kids.

[katmae]

Originally Posted by Ms manic

You hit a soft spot with me, a couple of my kids are drama queens too.

One of mine got mad at me because his younger brother was allowed to do something he hadn't been allowed to do. I said, "I grew up. It's your turn."

Most of my kids stopped blaming me for life when they started having kids of thier own. I tell them that if they're going to be mad at someone, be mad at Mama cause I'll forgive them. Makes them feel foolish and they quite it.

I once thought that women had to do something terrible to be the Mother-in-law of legend but I was wrong. You just have to breathe. Endure.

It's your house. They're lucky kids to have a mom that wants them over for dinner twice a month. They're still alive and you're still alive so it could have been worse.

You may have noticed that I'm not real touchy-feely about this kind of stuff. It sounds like we have a family at war but we really don't. We are all very close, I just don't put up with a lot of garbage from people who come to visit me. And I learned a long time ago not to take sides if there is an issue with the married ones.

Hope your next visit is a better one. Nobody can break your heart like one of your kids.

Oh I never take sides did not even do that when they were little, I think your are right about the thing about when they have kids and I keep praying it will happen to them just so I can laugh,but just about given up on the boys the oldest is 30 and not even close to getting married yet he only dates woman with kids though,hand my younest son is 28 and his girl friend has two kids a 15 year old and a 5 year old they only one of my kids that has kids is my youngest daughter only 7 years old but shes a girl and I don't think the droma ever stops but at least sence she got married she don't bring it to me lol thank you for your inceragement

[katmae]

Originally Posted by Mari

Hi,

Probably they have not had as much counseling as we have. Some of us have spent decades in and out of therapy. -- that was my long answer

Maybe tell them to grow up and go to counseling. -- that was my short answer

I am sorry that you have to deal with that. I have to teach Hubby that no one is ever to blame. Things happens and people can learn to deal with it.

M

I know it will pass in a few days but at times makes me want to knock there heads togather

[katmae]

Originally Posted by Dmom3005

It totally wouldn't




I can totally relate.

But just tell them, it would be fine if they would like to pay all your
bills the next time they want to complain. That will shut them
up for at least 5 minutes.

They will then have a new complaint. Then at least you will
know what is wrong.

Donna

oh I have told them to pay my bills they just laugh and tell me I have a grate sence of humer

[Dmom3005]

Most of the folks here know the story of my oldest here.

But at 16 after years of trouble and not finding the right meds, which is
the least of the story. The courts were involved and he was sent to
a treatment placement for boys residential that straightened out his
medications. And also finally showed him what it was really like to
have a real rough treatment with out freedom unless you earned it.

But he did well and was home in 6 months, but had been in a different
placement for 3 to 4 months before deciding where he would go.

But he finally was a better human being and started learning what it
meant to be human with a good head. But the story behind this, is he
didn't think he would ever forgive me for sending him to this. It was supposedly my fault. A few years later he did. And even thanked me,
he is the one with a gifted little boy. And he has a steady girlfriend that
we consider our D-I-L that never wants to get married. Because of her
parents history of divorces. But he did but honors her thoughts. And
they are happy. But he has always been very much a fighting with her, and
will then want us, usually now my husband to help him solve it.

In this case, good.

In my middle son, and his girlfriend my other D-I-L sometimes to be married
hopefully. THey have 3 stepgrand children that are my girls. And one Grand
Son that is his. The are done with kids. Heehee, but I love them all.
THey come to me with their problems usually. Heehee.

Anyway, we seem to have split the problems with these two. But the
moral is they love to develop problems, and I seem to get calls at all hours.
And am trying to calm one especially my D-I-L down. She has lots of
anxiety and depression. And a past that she is entitled, but getting better.

But we don't seem to know how to get together as a family anymore.
So I envy you that.

I'm going to have to work on that.

donna

[katmae]

I truely thought that I had said thank you to everyone for there help and addvice,if I have not I would like to do so now,I have been ill the last few days, so if I have not been answering this is why ,once again a big thank you to you all