Hi,

I left a message just now with tdoc about being very frightened.
I told her to either call me between 9 to 11:00 a.m. or leave a message to help me.

I told her that I think I can sleep tonight and I think I can go into work in the morning. I do need real help from her.

Thank God that hubby is awake at the moment. He can help me calm down and get to sleep -- especially if I do not tell him what is going on.

M

Whats going on? TDoc - is that therapist? Sorry to hear that you can't sleep and are anxious. I'm grateful too for a supportive husband. I don't know if I could manage this roller coaster alone.

Hi, Ms Manic,


Yes, "tdoc" is my therapist. I do not see her often but we did a phone session about three weeks ago.

I used to get images and people that were scary. Yesterday, they came back. I got one thatI felt like was trying to kill me.

It was during mediation. I was doing what tdoc taught me to do --- breathe, be quiet. I was playing "Wherever You Go, There You Are" Jon Kabat-Zinn . . . . it is a guided meditation . . . . breathe, . . . think about your big toe, . . ..now put your focus on your other toes, . . ..breathe.
I was almost 20 minutes into that.


When it hapenedd, I stopped.
Later, it became a bigger deal.
My bed time, I was uncertain if I could go on.

I am tired of this.

She is not going to call. I wish she would call or at at least leave a message for me. Sbe is helpful when she says something.

M

I told her what happened during my meditation.

She said that those things happen sometimes (often) when people try to do this by them selves. (I have been trying this for years off and on??)

People in the East who have done this their whole lives can do this. The rest of us need a guided meditation.

She said to think about my breathing with my eyes open and for short periods of time.
We both decided that maybe I could do this for 5 mins at a time three times a day and then try to get into see her before Dec 17 when she goes out of town.

M

=-=-
Perhaps I should do chanting that some Buddhists taught me. Maybe I am more suited to that.


I am lost. BUt I am less frightened now that she spoke to me.

Scary stuff. I'd be concerned too. Hope you're able to sleep tonight.

Oh Mari, Im so sorry !!! it sounds stressful !!

It is interesting though.... I mean, meditating can indeed take us to another level.... I have never been able to meditate, properly I mean, but my dreams, my so vivid dreams.... can be really scaring... What I want to say is, brain is... WEIRD !!!

Take care Mari !! try to think they are in your "imagination"

I'm so sorry that you are feeling frightened. I hope that you feel better soon. BF

I am really glad that your tdoc called you back and helped explain what was going on.
It sounds terribly frightening. Rest when you can.
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

This frightening stuff has been going on since I was six.
I am mostly convinced that the stuff is real.

Tdoc tried to b.s. me so that I would be o.k. until we see each other in 5 weeks.
I am tired of a life time of this.

M

I know what you mean Mari. I'm tired of a life time of it to. The imaginations,and pictures in the thoughts are hard to control. Then when your emotions grip you with these thoughts,and imaginations just makes it worse.

.....But....You will be better soon. BF